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Do We Know Just-Fired Dallas Stars Coach Jim Montgomery’s Big Secret? Maybe! Either Way, We Definitely Know A Bunch Of Fun Facts About This Team.

Well, Your Dallas Stars sure love drama, don’t they?

As the Stars near the one-year anniversary of Jim Lites’ infamous “horseshit” stunt, the team has experienced an extended stretch of new public unpleasantries.

The 2019-2020 campaign began with a franchise-worst season start, dangerous brushes with mother nature,  continued public admonishment of it’s Star players, healthy scratches and, now, the firing of head coach Jim Montgomery over a “material act of unprofessionalism.”

Vague legal speak from team management failed to enlighten fans, staff and even players to the nature of Monty’s behavior, leaving the unwashed masses to wildly speculate about the situation in question. Gambling, substance abuse, sexual harassment and even an unusual radio interview on Central Track favorite’s radio station have all been speculated as possible culprits in the biggest mystery in the city at the moment.

But, as a loyal Forechecking™ P1, you already know that we revealed Monty’s big secret — nearly a year ago to the day! It’s so eerie and shocking, we are literally shaking right now!

Call us clairvoyant, Illuminati or just full of horseshit, but one thing is for certain: We are happy to see the hockey world take unsavory matters in general more seriously. In light of recent revelations of abusive coaching practices dotting the NHL, we’re pleased to see league commissioner Gary Bettman take the necessary steps to address misconduct league-wide, starting with an anonymous hotline for players to call to report inappropriate behavior. While Jim Montgomery’s dismissal is reportedly unrelated to the new initiative, a more transparent and accountable environment in the NHL, player-related or not, is a good thing.

Hey, everyone deserves an equitable and safe workplace — even hard-working, fun loving, well-compensated hockey players!

That in mind, and given that it’s been such a gloomy 48 hours for the Stars faithful, let’s eschew the standard Forechecking™ format and have a little fun here — kinda like Alexander Radulov when he finds an ATV in the bowels of a hockey arena!

How about some fun facts, eh? OK! Here are some fun facts, shared in order of fun.

1. The Dallas Stars have changed coaches mid-season twice before. In 1996, Bob Gainey left the bench to focus full-time on his General Manager duties, hiring Ken Hitchcock in his place. In 2002, after the Stars’ Cup-run era, Ken Hitchcock was then fired and replaced by assistant coach Rick Wilson. Uh… cool?

2. Filming begins for the “Road to the Winter Classic” series this week! Gee, I wonder if the filmmakers will have enough material to talk about?!

3. If the current interim head coach, Rick “Bones” Bowness, doesn’t commit murder by January, he will have been employed as an NHL head coach in the ’80s, ’90s, ’00s, ’10s, and ’20s! Wow! But, also: OK, boomer.

4. Dallas is 10-1 in its last 11 games on home ice! Home cookin’ sure is good!

5. Despite having a top 4-ranked defense in the NHL, Tuesday night’s 2-0 Victory Green™ over the hapless New Jersey Devils somehow was the team’s first shutout of the season. Let’s get some more goose eggs, boys!

6. Since November 1, Dallas ranks 1st in the NHL in goals allowed (36), shot blocks per game (17.3), penalty killing (88.7%) and save percentage (.943). In that span, Your Dallas Stars have earned 28 points — tied for NHL best! That’s lit!

7. Now, for the final, most fun fact of them all: The last team to start the season in the basement, lose a coach mid-season and win the Cup was the 2019 St. Louis Blues. Can Your Dallas Stars replicate the Cinderella season of their Central Division rivals and capture Lord Stanley’s Cup this year? Bet on it! Err, well, count on it.

In Miro We Trust.

Flip it. Stick it. See ya later, bye. — LehtMoJoe

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