High Five!

Move over Pizza Rat, Taco Squirrel is the new king of Meme Town. That’s what you get when you sit up in your tree chowing down on a taco shell roughly the same size as your body.

We can’t imagine a better way to spend the weekend than trying to recreate the feat with a taco roughly the size of our own bodies. But we’ve found many other alternatives to that plan just the same. Hey, it’s our job! — Cory Graves

Friday

Drive-By Truckers at Granada Theater
The rowdy alt-country outfit from whence Jason Isbell sprang rolls into town with Hiss Golden Messenger in tow. — Pete Freedman

Chris Rock at WinStar World Casino and Resort (Sold Out)
Tony Rock’s funnier older brother done sold out the casino across the border. — CG

Deep Ellum Arts Festival (Free)
What the Deep Ellum Arts Festival is all about, as far as we can tell, is cheap and ugly jewelry, food court food and those terrible spray paint and stencil paintings that “artists” make for tourists “while they wait.” It’s just the worst. — Stephen Young

Mo’nique at Addison Improv
Mo’Nique had a late night talk show back in 2009, and she starred in the film Precious, which you may recall was based on the novel Push by Sapphire. These days, she’s touring the country doing her stand-up thing, which brings her to the Improv this weekend. — Diamond Victoria

Cottonmouth, Texas: The History of Popular Music in Dallas at Kessler Theater
The defacto Dallas music scene historian will give a spoken word performance as Cottonmouth, Texas, spinning a yarn about the music in Dallas from the earliest days in the city’s history all the way up to the present. But we all know its best days were in the ‘80s. — CG

Pan’s Labyrinth at Inwood Theatre
The young Ofelia must complete three dangerous task to claim immortality in this Guillermo del Toro written and directed dark fantasy. It screens at midnight on Friday and Saturday. — CG

Luke McGlathery (Album Release) at Lola’s Saloon
With songs like ”Oklahoma Hula Hoopin’ Angel,” and the rest of his new sophomore LP, the lanky Fort Worthian channels Hank Sr. like the best of them. Getchu a copy at this release show where the new-look Whiskey Folk Ramblers headline, and Michael Lee also performs. — CG

Dallas Art Fair at Fashion Industry Gallery
One of Dallas Art Month (did you know April was Dallas Art Month?!) is the Dallas Art Fair, where roughly 100 prominent national and international art dealers and galleries will exhibit paintings, sculptures, works on paper, photography, video and installations. There is a lot of art to see. — Darryl Ratcliff

The Dallas Music Experience at The Dallas Art Fair
The Dallas Art Fair has decided to add music programming for the first time ever, calling it The Dallas Music Experience. We’ve been told that, no, that’s not just a name that they’re work-shopping. Programmed by Lee Escobedo, five acts — Sam Lao, Cygnus, Bobby Sessions, Sealion, Party Static, Picnictyme — will perform at F.I.G. this Friday. — CG

Jarabe de Palo at Trees
Dallas isn’t the only place experiencing feelings of nostalgia for all things ’90s it turns out. Jarabe de Palo is a ’90s rock outfit from Barcelona, whose name roughly translates to wood syrup has collaborated with everyone from Celica Cruz to Ricky Martin and Alanis Morissette through the years. — CG

The Sonics at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill
Northwest garage-rock pioneers, The Sonics are alive and kicking once more. Back in 2015, the highly influential rockers released their first new LP in over 40 years, and tonight they’ll play this Dallas bar and grill. — Evan Henry

Testament, Sepultura, Prong at Gas Monkey Live
Testament’s been thrashing since ’83, which probably means they have some significant brain damage from constant head-banging. But, hey, that’s pretty metal! This tour finds them playing alongside longtime metalheads Sepultura and Prong. — Trace McCaslin

The Goddamn Gallows at Three Links
If ever there was an occasion to mix Adderall and booze it’s a show like this one. From hobocore headliners Goddamn Gallows, whose biggest hit is “Y’all Motherfuckers Need Jesus,” to openers Viva Le Vox, The Schisms, each of these acts combines country and punk in one way or another. — CG

Vince Staples at South Side Music Hall
The Odd Future associate — but not official member — represents the West Coast in the mid-sized room at Gilley’s. — CG

The Return of Richard Haskins at Killer’s Tacos
Being an unsuccessful bank robber does not a good musician make. — CG

MVP Bottle Signing + Tasting Event at Raymond’s Liquor Stop
The old Longhorns teammates, one of which was a Cowboy for a minute, started a vodka company after their playing days were over. Not sure how it tastes, but they’ll both be on hand to sign your bottles at this tasting. — CG

Prince Scaraoke at Texas Theatre
Like regular karaoke, but scarier. Wait, scratch that, it’s just all Prince songs. — CG

We Own The Night at 2277 Monitor Street
A block party featuring live music, art, dance, theater and more. It is Dallas Art Month, after all. — CG

Tatiana Mayfield in the Regal Room
Live jazz from Ladymay. Call and reserve a table ASAP, y’know, if you like sitting down. — CG

Savor Dallas: Shaken + Stirred at Happiest Hour (Sold Out)
A chef-curated cocktail party to help you muddle through. Like muddled, like in the mixologist sense. — CG

Cross Stitched Eyes, Pinkish Black, Ritual Order at RBC
German death rockers Cross Stitched Eyes contains members of Zygote, UK Subs, Enemies, Anger of Bacteria, Cold Death, Subhumans, Black Mass, Endrophobia, Tuorette Syndrom, Sworn Liars and Alaric. They headline a bill opened by locals Ritual Order and Aztec Death, with DJs between sets, and Evan Henry providing trippy visuals. — CG

Pegboard Nerds at Stereo Live Dallas
Probably your only chance to party with a Scandinavian electronica/dubstep duo this weekend. Just sayin’. — CG

Manhattan 4K Restoration at TX Theatre
Woody Allen’s 1979 black-and-white film Manhattan weaves a complex web of romantic and sexual relationships. The film, which earned Allen an Academy Award nominations for Best Writing and Best Screenplay, has also been called one of the funniest movies of all time — as well as one of the all-time great romantic comedies. And now it’s been digitally restored. — CG

Bnois King at AllGood Cafe
Joe Kubek’s main man serenades your chicken-fried steak dinner with his sizzling hot Texas blues. — CG

Saturday

Old 97’s County Fair at Main Street Garden Park
This weekend, the Old 97’s return home temporarily in the middle of a month-long tour. But it’s not just for any run-of-the-mill club show. On Saturday, they’ll headline the second annual Old 97’s County Fair at Main Street Garden Park, a big ol’ fest that you may notice happens to be named after them. That sucker not only boasts a nice lineup with Lucinda Williams and Mavis Staples along with locals Jonathan Tyler, The Texas Gentlemen and (full disclosure, my own band) Vandoliers, but there will also be midway games and a big-ass Ferris wheel. Above all, though, it features the Old 97’s playing their first hometown show since releasing their eleventh studio album, Graveyard Whistling last month. — CG

Central Track Turns Five at Double Wide
We’re a fairly crass and most certainly boastful lot, for sure, but we’re not so brash as to think that we’ve lasted this long simply of our own volition. We’re well aware of the fact that we’re only able to keep doing what we’re doing because you all, our readers, have supported us along the way and allowed us to keep our lights on by reading us, sharing our stories and spreading our gospel to your friends. So, rather than just pop a few bottles here at CTHQ to mark the passing of five years of operations, we want you all to be with us when we acknowledge the passing of this milestone. Hence, then, this here post, in which we’d like to formally and publicly invite all y’all out to come party and celebrate it with us on Saturday. — Pete Freedman

Steve Martin and Martin Short at Verizon Theatre
Two out of three amigos ain’t bad. — CG

The Orwells at Dada
You may recall things got ugly the last time the young punks were in town. They’ve since released a major label record called Terrible Human Beings. Truth in advertising or a sign of newfound maturity? Let’s find out together! — CG

Real Estate at South Side Music Hall
The band’s newly released fourth record features a new guitarist, but the same old brand of guitar-based pop music. The more things change, the more they stay the same, and all that. — CG

Terry Malts at Three Links
Over the years, the Cali outfit has gotten a little less punky and a lot more power poppy. Whatever, it’s working. Their far-more-polished third record has helped expand their fanbase exponentially. — CG

Gangster Rap Yoga at Jade and Clover
Strengthen your practice with a round of early morning downward dawg. BYO water and mat – and some cash for donations if you want. — CG

The Lizard Man at The Nines (Free)
Maybe the one cool thing at the Deep Ellum Arts Fest is the free rooftop shows from the world famous Lizard Man. — CG

Vin-O Palooza at Shipping and Receiving
Kind of like Untapped Index Fest, but with wine instead of beer. More than 20 wineries will be on hand for sampling, while music acts like Ryan Cabrera, Ryan Key of Yellowcard, Nash Overstreet of Hot Chelle Rae, Son of Stan and Castro play that sweet wine mixer tuneage. — CG

Pop Poppins at The Live Oak
Before it closes, though, The Live Oak will host a few more noteworthy shows, like this reunion show from local ‘90s alt-rockers Pop Poppins. Question: Is it still called a reunion if the band hasn’t played a show in several years but never “officially” broke up? Dunno, but tickets are still available. — CG

10,000 Maniacs at Kessler Theater
Though Natalie Merchant headed for greener grass two whole decades ago, the band that launched her career never stopped doing its thing. So who are the folks that have kept going to all these Merchant-less shows over the years? We’re not sure. But it’s probably a lot of the same people that have kept The New Bohemians afloat. — CG

Thursday at House of Blues
After a five-year break, New Jersey emo-hardcore are back together playing their early ‘00s hits. — CG

Greg Vanderpool (Album Release) at Twilite Lounge (Free)
The ex-Monahans and Milton Mapes main man celebrates his new LP by playing it during two different sets. Daniel Markham will play one between. — CG

Savor: The Grand Tasting at Centennial Hall
The absolute best food and spirits Dallas has to offer, all under one roof. Ain’t it grand?! — CG

Locked & Loaded at Armoury, D.E. (Free)
This week’s L&L finds Nervous Curtains playing its first live set of 2017, pulling out a re-tooled set and some new songs on some new gear. EATQS and Dome Dwellers share this free bill. — CG

Lollie Bombs Presents: A Fifth Element Show at Viva’s Lounge
Straight from the 23rd century, the survival of the planet earth depends on this sci-fi-themed burlesque show. — CG

Three-Year Anniversary Party at Republic Street Bar (Free)
Helping the Fort Worth bar celebrate three years with three of the 817’s finest rock acts in Pearl Earl, Andy Pickett and War Party. For. Fucking. Free. — CG

Dick Dale at Granada Theater
Dick Dale has undoubtedly earned his title as The King of the Surf Guitar. Just think what the Pulp Fiction soundtrack would have been like without him. See him live in the flesh and see what folks like Jimi Hendrix and Eddie Van Halen loved about him so much. — Jessi Pereira

Cappadonna at Shipping and Receiving
Wu-Tang may be for the children, but they’ve never really been for the Fort Worthers. The sometimes forgotten member of the Clan claims this is his first-ever time to perform on that side of town. We’ll take his word for it. — CG

Dallas Record Show at Richardson Convention Center
A big ass vinyl sale. Easy enough. — CG

Mod Sun at The Loft
Ex-Four Letter Lie drummer Derek Smith’s current project (read: his rap output under the Mod Sun name) is a much easier listen than his old stuff to say the least. — CG

Fredrik Broden “Twenty-One” at Tractorbeam
The conceptual Dallas photographer’s latest batch of work, on display for the first time. — CG

”The Difference Between a Duck” (Opening Reception) at Beefhaus
The name of this exhibition sounds like the setup of an old joke, only there’s nothing to get. That’s the point, get it? You shouldn’t. — CG

Sunday

Sober’s Record Pop-Up at Off the Record
The most popular DJ in town is purging his entire collection of hip-hop vinyl. There’s some other genre’s mixed in there, too. His loss is your gain. — CG

Small Black at Dada
It’s 2017 and chillwave is still a thing. That wasn’t supposed to sound all jaded/snarky/snobby. Just making an observation. — CG

Bolshoi Ballet: A Hero of Our Time at Angelika Film Center
For one day only, one of the world’s oldest ballet companies will beam its A Hero of Our Time production to theater’s across the country. This is one such theater. — CG

Ariana Grande at American Airlines Center
Good news; Tall infant Awiana Gwande has been granted permission to stay up past her bedtime to sing a few pwetty widdle songs for you tonight. — CG

Bastille at Verizon Theatre
One of Britain’s biggest breakthrough acts in recent years hits our shores this weekend. The band’s big, empty synth-driven choruses will sound plenty anthemic in a room the size of Verizon. — CG

Gnash at South Side Ballroom
His dog loves the sounds that he makes, though she’s not quite sure what he does with them. She’ll never know, but you can be enlightened here. — CG

Puffy AmiYumi at Trees
For American kids of a certain age, their first exposure to J-pop and Japanese rock came from the Puffy music featured in the Cartoon Network animated series Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi. Now those kids are in their late 20s, old enough to see the live action version in a Deep Ellum club without adult supervision. — CG

Jacob Sartorius at House of Blues
The 14-year-old former Vine star (RIP) rose to fame with his lip synching videos. He’s since made a real album where he actually sings, which he’ll do live tonight. — CG

Dallas Mega March at Guadalupe Cathedral
Unlike Kendall Jenner’s recent Pepsi-addled street rave, this march actually has a purpose — to stand in solidarity and speak out against aggressive deportation efforts, among other issues. It starts up at the Guadalupe Cathedral (2215 Ross Avenue) and ends up over a City Hall. — CG

Tender Mercies at Majestic Theatre
The Waxahachie-shot classic stars Robert Duvall as a recovering alcoholic country music star that turns his life around after meeting a widow and her son. Sounds an awful lot like the plot of Jeff Bridges’ Crazy Heart if you ask us. The leads in both films pulled down Best Actor nods either way. — CG

O’Reilly Auto Parts 500 at Texas Motor Speedway
Whether watching the cars go ‘round in circles is your “thing” or not, it does have a mighty impact on traffic. Something to keep in mind whether heading to or making note to avoid that stretch of I-35. — CG

Beto O’Rourke Meet and Greet! at Chimera Brewing Company
The new hot young “it” politician is this progressive Texan that once played in a band with some of the At The Drive-In guys. He’s currently an El Paso congressman, but he’s stumping to oust Ted Cruz for that Senate seat. Politics is the new punk. — CG

Cover photo by Kathy Tran. To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our event directory.

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