4   +   3   =  

Drop the Ball.

If 2016 was a movie, it’d definitely fall into the horror genre. And nothing shows this death-filled clusterfuck of a year for what it really was than this fake horror trailer.

So it’ll be cool to finally give ol’ 2016 the ax this weekend. Real cool, actually, given all the following ways to send it out with a bang.

But beware, 2017 is coming. We’re just getting started.  — Cory Graves

Friday

Cool Out at Dada
A few years removed from its home at Crown and Harp and its true heyday, Tony Schwa’s weekly Monday night Cool Out offerings finally returns to Dada this week, aiming to recapture a little bit of the magic that once made this affair such a memorable and must-attend recurring event in this city. — Brian Knowles

Lights All Night at Dallas Market Hall
The two-day EDM extravaganza returns with a musical lineup featuring Above and Beyond, ZEDD, A$AP Ferg and more on its first night. There’s a reason it’s always the biggest party Dallas gets all year. — Obed Manuel

Lights All Night After-Party at Lizard Lounge
When they say all night, they mean it. The dance party relocates but keeps moving, all the way to 4 a.m. — CG

Bob Schneider at Granada Theater
Long a mainstay in the Austin’s music scene, Schneider brings his genre-bending ways to the Granada for the third time this year. You should check him out. He’s known for being a great performer. And for once dating Sandra Bullock. — H. Drew Blackburn

Raw Elementz: Power4TheLocals2 at Trees
Raw Elementz is a Dallas rapper who sticks to the original principles of rap. His name emphasizes this, as Raw is meant to be an acronym for “Rhythm and Writing.” Other local hip-hop artists performing at the event include -topic, Bobby Sessions, Dandii Sun and Nick Bryant among others. — Paul Wedding

Toadies at Billy Bob’s
One of the Fort’s most enduring acts headlines one of the city’s biggest and most storied venues. Not a bad way to end the year on a high. — CG

Marvelous World Record Attempt at Sheraton Dallas
The nerds at Marvelous Nerd Year’s Eve will attempt to set the world record for “Most People Gathered Dressed as Comic Book Characters.” They need at least 1,785! A pass to the event is required, but Stan Lee will be there, so worth it. — OM

King of the Mountain 2016: Finals at Dallas Comedy House
The kings of Dallas improv will be crowned tonight. And it’s almost free. — OM

Dwight Yoakam at WinStar World Casino and Resort
The country icon and current torch-bearer for the Buck Owens-pioneered Bakersfield sound will be doing his thing a couple hours north. With punk-flavored country and California country both currently on the rise, we’d say any opportunity to catch one of those genres’ most beloved figures is worth the trip. — CG

Ball and Parlay (Screw Night) at Crown and Harp
Some people are like The Eagles and live their life in the fast laaane. Some – like DJs Black Taffy and Brian Tomerlin, who’ll preside over this one — prefer the DJ Screw approach and slow it down. But whichever approach you take, you’ve heard screw music in some way. The gritty, sludgy sound has transcended our borders, even infiltrating Asia, spawning lean-themed anthems such as Keith Ape’s “It Chi Ma. “Texas is a big state, but our original brand of hip-hop is so much bigger. — Sidney Johnson

Saturday

Lights All Night at Dallas Market Hall
The big night two NYE lineup includes sets from deadmau5, RL Grime, Excision and more. — CG

S U R V I V E at It’ll Do Club
The guys behind one of the most culturally significant songs of 2016 (read: the Stranger Things theme) will be here with the rest of their band. But fear not fans of the Upside Down, S U R V I V E’s catalog could just as capably have scored the Netflix original series. — CG

Jonathan Tyler at Granada Theater
Tyler’s held his annual NYE party at Granada for like a decade now, but this is hand’s down the strongest bill top to bottom he’s put together to date. Helping him out will be Nikki Lane, Paul Cauthen and Red Shahan – and, I imagine, a smattering of Texas Gentlemen. And lots of these folks coming out and playing songs with each other, too. — CG

Ishi at Trees
Like Tyler, above, Ishi has done the NYE thing at Trees for several years in a row now, too. But they’ll be doing so this time on the strength of their 2016 EP, their best release to date. Plus no other local band hauls around more lights and added frills than these peeps. — CG

Vandoliers, Sealion, The Warden, Loafers at Dada
Vandoliers will be ringing in the New Yaer with a dusty, leathery country sound. These guys have keen country sensibilities with great fiddle work, trumpeting, banjo picking and thumping bass lines. These are great drinking tunes with a number of two-step jams. Dallas favorite punks, Sealion, will make sure the proceedings are equal parts surf and turf. And Waco transplants Loafers and the honky-tonkin’ stylings of The Warden will make sure there’s another helping of each of those genres to fill out the evening. — Roberto Aguilar

Ron White at WinStar World Casino and Resort
Over the past several years, Ron “Tater Salad” White has been one of the top three grossing comedians on tour, thanks in part to his association with the Blue Collar Comedy tour. He’s also managed to sell over 10 million CDs and DVDs along the way, proving that there is some truth to his famous “You can’t fix stupid” catchphrase after all. Hey, we kid! — CG

Kevin Farley at Hyena’s (Plano)
Chris Farley’s brother is ringing in the new year in DFW with two shows at Hyenas Comedy Club. – OM

Brian Regan at Music Hall at Fair Park
Brian Regan’s clean comedy landed him his first special in 2015. He’s now touring nationally and will stay on the comedy grind through 2017. — OM

Charley Crockett, Medicine Man at The Rustic
Medicine Man, the new collaborative project of Keite Young, a onetime member of Franklin’s choir, and producer Jason Burt (Jonas Martin, Color TV) makes its live debut here, and on a pretty strong bill, to boot. ICYMI, check out our feature on the band here. — CG

Skarmas, Mad Mexicans, Revolucion Oi, Bronco Simmons at Bomb Factory
Odelay! — CG

Marvelous NYE at Sheraton Dallas
This is the third day of the four-day nerdfest featuring Stan “The Man” Lee. Other celebs in attendance include Michael Rooker, Peter Mayhew and Ming-Na Wen, among tons of others. And as always, cosplay is more the rule than the exception. — OM

The Book of Mormon at Winspear Opera House
The Book of Mormon, a musical trip into the heart of America’s unique homegrown religion from the creators of South Park, has won countless awards, sold out everywhere its gone and is absolutely hysterical. If you waited until now, to buy tickets, though, you’ve probably missed your opportunity to purchase any at face value. Hey, you can always pay the steep markup added by ticket brokers like Stubhub. There are certainly worse things in the world to spend your money on. The collection plate, perhaps? — Stephen Young

Dallas Stars vs Florida Panthers at American Airlines Center
the Stars are trending in the right direction for 2k17. And with that being said, you are trending in the right direction for 2k17. Proud of you, you put in a hell of a year. Let’s hope things keep looking up as the team’s annual New Year’s Eve contest finds those Panthers of Florida stalking the AAC. — Vincent Sliva

The Future at Shipping and Receiving
The future, Conan? In the year 2000, S&R will host music by Prince Rama, Ronnie Heart and ex-Neon Indian Jason Faries, among others, plus an art show, plus a storytelling show all combine for what organizers hope is a fully immersive NYE experience. — CG

Who Are You NYE at Texas Theatre
Dress up in your best ’60s get-up. The show will feature burlesque, human ball drop and live music from Chain and The Gang. — OM

Black and White Ball at NYLO Dallas South Side
Don’t drink and drive. Book two rooms at this hotel and get two complimentary tickets to this party, which boasts maybe the best skyline view. Win-win. — CG

Dallas NYE Ball at Crowne Plaza Dallas Downtown
In a town whose motto is Big things happen here, this is the biggest NYE party of them all. Thousands will gather at this ritzy gathering, partying in two rooms. Upstairs is Times Square themed and downstairs it is Vegas. — CG

Glitz and Glow New Year’s Eve at The Nines
A real Dallas dance party for those that care more about the music/dancing than the bottle service/being seen aspects. — CG

New Year’s Eve at Meyerson Symphony Center
Classier than bottle service, and cheaper, too. The DSO is ringing in the New Year with a number of Viennese waltzes and a champagne toast during intermission. — CG

Limo Party Bus Crawl at Old Crow
The party bus starts rolling at Old Crow and will drive you and your best buds around for $5 drink specials around the city. — OM

The Art of Celebration at Tower Club
If 2017 is your year to climb to social ladder then join in on “The Art of Celebration,” aka the highest NYE party in Dallas. Only VIP tickets are available now, but if the goal is to be VIP, then be VIP. — OM

The Rich Girls, Party Static, Sudie at Double Wide
Along with Halloween, New Year’s Eve is one of the two best nights of the year to catch a cover band. This Hall and Oates cover band brings the heat like an unseasonably warm Texas winter. All told, this is one of the best bills of the weekend. — CG

Sunday

Lightwire Theater at Winspear Opera House
The America’s Got Talent losers should have been America’s Got Talent winners. Their act is pretty dazzling and mind-bending – enough to overlook the fact that they’re still doing their Christmas show in January. — CG

The Good Pagoda New Year’s Day Grand Opening Party
Your most likely spot to catch a member of The Polyphonic Spree in the wild this weekend is at the Grand Opening of this new Good Records outpost. Neighbors and fellow Spree-owned businesses Lounge Here and Super Yoga Palace are in on the celebrating, too, and all three will have lucky black eyed peas available. — CG

New Year’s Day Good Luck Stew & Potluck at Three Links
Links is providing stew and cornbread, you’re providing the sides – or whatever other leftovers you feel like getting rid of. Then the Cowboys will close out their season while everybody sticks around and watches on the big screen. — CG

First Ride of the Year at Continental Ave Bridge
Typically, everyone makes the same New Year’s revolution – to get in shape/workout more – but few actually wake up on January 1 and start doing it. Even fewer stick to it into February and beyond. But not you, you’re going to get on that bike and ride. — CG

New Year’s Day Brunch at BrainDead Brewing
Four courses, with the opener consisting of crispy bacon fat fried black eyed peas. Good luck! — CG

Cover photo by Kathy Tran. To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our event directory.

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