According To The Only Dallas Morning Radio Show Host With The Courage To Say So, The Second Tuesday In August Is The Worst Day Of The Year.
Bad news, everyone: It’s the second Tuesday in August, which means it’s the worst day of the year — at least according to our favorite personality on KTCK 1310-AM/96.7-FM The Ticket, one Craig “Junior” Miller, who has detailed this belief on the air on various occasions.
Miller’s reasoning is as sound as one might expect, boiling down to the following points:
• August sucks and is objectively the worst month of the year on its own accord.
• It’s always stupid hot outside this time of the year — and especially so in Dallas.
• There are really no holidays of note around this date.
• With apologies to baseball, there are very few decent sports options on TV during this time of the year.
• Network TV is still in re-runs, and prime-time options are slim pickings.
• Kids are about to go back to school, so they’re in bad spirits.
• Summer is ending, which means life in general is about to go back to business as usual.
• Tuesdays, as we all know, are the worst day of the week; you’re no longer refreshed from the previous weekend and the next one is still a ways off.
• Even more specific, the second Tuesday of the month is the worst — because, during the first Tuesday, you’re still refreshed from the previous month and, during the third and fourth, you can “see the finish line.”
If you want to get even more specific, Miller says that the worst moment of the year also falls today, right when the clock strikes 2 p.m. — given that the night’s entertainment options have yet to arrive and everyone’s in a post-lunch lull.
Again, the logic is sound.
So how should one deal with this? Again, we turn to Miller for guidance. Here are his suggestions on how to get through the day:
1. “Jar your urine, just in case all hell breaks loose.”
2. “Stop, drop and roll… sound advice no matter what the circumstance.”
3. “Surround yourself with comforting items like a teddy bear or a blanket, and remove all sharp objects from the room so you’re not tempted to take your own life.”
4. “Hold hands with coworkers.”
5. “If you can, get a church or strip club or another place of comfort to ride this out.”
6. “If all else fails, grab a piece of pizza.”
As ever, we would like to thank Junes for his courage in speaking out on this issue. Hear him speak out on it yourself right here.