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Join the Women’s March, Bid on the Right to Slaughter an Endangered Species, Get a New Tattoo, Fall Into Dallas’ Latest Selfie Trap, Kill It With Laura Palmer at a Twin Peaks Music Festival.

For a guaranteed good time, stuff some rodents in your pants. Works every time.

Just remember to take them back out before you go to the airport. Because as this lady found out, trying to board a flight with 24 gerbils strapped to your leg is considered smuggling in some places.

But there are other ways to have fun this weekend, many of which aren’t international crimes that’ll land you on all the “weird news” sites. — Cory Graves

Friday

Mick Jenkins at Trees
The Chicago rapper and producer released his second LP, called Pieces of a Man, this past fall. The album boasts tracks with features from BadBadNotGood and Ghostface Killah, as well as cuts produced by revered names such as Black Milk and Kaytranada. In conjunction with the tour announcement, Jenkins also premiered the music video for “Reginald,” which parodies the police drama clichés seen in TV shows such as 21 Jump Street and TJ Hooker. — Garrett Gravley

CineWilde Presents: Madonna: Truth or Dare at Texas Theatre
The queer movie enthusiasts celebrate five years of monthly screenings the the Queen of Pop and a documentary that was considered so much more risqué back in 1991. — CG

MOGAMBO: 2019 Dallas Safari Club Convention at Dallas Convention Center
Aside from being one of the biggest annual gatherings of its kind, the Dallas Safari Club and its yearly convention are perhaps most well-known for being the place where a hunter bid $350,000 to shoot an endangered black rhino in Namibia. While the hunter received all kinds of death threats, a subsequent episode of the Radiolab podcast points out that there are actually some pretty noble, rhino-saving, conservation efforts at the heart of that notorious hunt. This year’s theme is “Mogambo,” which means “passion” in Swahili, but “sex” just about everywhere else. — CG

Riot Ten at Lizard Lounge
The not-so-rotten El Paso DJ has been filling clubs with bass-heavy trap since the age of 22. So even though he’s still not old enough to vote, he pretty much rules over the subgenre. — CG

Jimmy Gnecco, LEEDS at Three Links
Here are a couple guys much better known by the names of their previous projects. Gnecco once fronted major label-signed melodic rockers OURS, while LEEDS is the stage name of ex-Spacehog frontman Royston Langdon. Hannah Gernand opens. — CG

Raising Arizona at Inwood Theatre
This is my absolute favorite Coen Brothers film. (Yes, I like it even slightly more than Fargo or The Big Lebowski. Sue me.) Nicolas Cage is the good kind of crazy as the ex-con who kidnaps a local businessman’s baby so he and his wife (Holly Hunter) can have the life they’ve always wanted. It’s the Coens’ funniest movie, and a lot of that has to do with the characters’ odd turns of phrase (“We released ourselves on our own recognizance,” and, “We’re swingers. As in, to swing,” and even, “Son, you got a panty on your head.”) that would become a staple of the Coen Brothers’ work. Catch it at Friday or Saturday’s midnight screenings. — Kip Mooney

Reckless Kelly at Hank’s
Reckless Kelly is a Texas country band that doesn’t really try to stand out that much, but they’re musically sound and check all the boxes of what makes Texas country good. — Paul Wedding

Young Dolph at Gas Monkey Live
From the promoters that failed to bring you Starfest come this hip-hop show from the “Play Wit Yo Bitch” performer. It’ll definitely happen, probably, as general admission tickets appear to be sold out. — CG

Flatland Cavalry at Billy Bob’s
Lubbock’s young Red Dirt heroes return to the World’s Largest Hfatheonky-Tonk. Certainly a band on the rise. — CG

Jurassic Quest at Fair Park Coliseum
Take your kiddos to walk among a bunch of hyper realistic animatronic dinosaurs. They’ll love it. — CG

Mustache Envy Presents: Graphic Novels at Sue Ellen’s
The monthly drag and queerlesque revue adopts a “graphic novels” theme for this go-round. That’s somehow different than comic books. Maybe. — CG

Taylor Tomlinson at Addison Improv
Dallas isn’t the only place where little girls are realizing their stand-up comedy dreams. Tomlinson got her start performing comedy while still in her teens in her native Canada. She’s since gone on to appear on several television programs, including The Tonight Show, Conan and Last Comic Standing. — CG

Ink Masters Tattoo Show at Globe Life Park
Why did the Rangers’ ballpark wait until its final year to host its first concert — and then book badass ones like Paul McCartney and Billy Joel? Why also has it taken so long to host its first tattoo expo? Over 120 tattooers, celebrity and otherwise, will be slinging ink at this con. An after-party follows at nearby Texas Live. — CG

1-800 Tropics, DJ Naturalhiiigh and MNNRZ at Regal Room
Trap is back at the IBK. #unbanned — CG

Pure Prairie League at Arlington Music Hall
Vince Gill’s old group hasn’t appeared on a chart since the ‘80s and, tbh, you best know them from 1972’s “Amie.” So, whatchu gonna do? — CG

Young Culture & The Happy Alright at The Prophet Bar
The New York pop-punk outfit that’s oft compared to Sum 41 has a brand new EP out the same day they headline this Dallas show. — CG

Opening Weekend at Rainbow Vomit
We hear over 50 pounds of glitter were used in the making of Dallas’ latest selfie trap, which opens its doors this weekend. Time for a new profile pic! — CG

Saturday

Sarah Jaffe at Dan’s Silverleaf
As is tradition at Dan’s Silverleaf, Sarah Jaffe is kicking off the beginning of the year with a two-day stand at the venue where she used to tend bar. If you want to see her and come home at a more reasonable hour, go to the matinee performance on Sunday. — GG

Joe Ely at Kessler Theater
In 1983, The Clash played only four US cities: Los Angeles, Tucson, San Antonio and Wichita Falls. The reason The Clash decided to skip Dallas, Houston and Austin in favor of a Podunk town like Wichita Falls was because of Joe Ely. Following Ely’s solo performance in London in 1978, the two acts formed an unlikely camaraderie, which would take a life of its own. Even without The Clash in the picture, this songwriter still carries his own weight in music as one of the most influential voices in Texas country. Because there is still a modicum of justice left in the world, his cultural significance has even been formally recognized by the Texas State Legislature. — GG

The Bralettes (Album Release) at Regal Room
The Central Track Music Honors nominees celebrate the release of what’s sure to be a killer new record, headlining a bill featuring some fellow noms – Acid Carousel, Junkie and Ian Salazar also perform. — CG

The Thing at Texas Theatre
A screening of the John Carpenter classic sure beats getting amped up by hundreds of miles of billboards in the Arizona desert only to waste your money on a shitty mummy. — CG

Sing For Summer! at The Tin Panther
Fort Worth singer-songwriter Summer Lane Emerson recently had a vocal cord surgery that may potentially affect her future singing career. A GoFundMe has been set up to help her pay for medical expenses, along with proceeds from this benefit show. — CG

Bar-kays, Zapp Band, And The Gap Band at Music Hall at Fair Park
A throwback show with way more bounce to the ounce. — CG

Weezing at Granada Theater
The Weezer Tribute band will be playing all the hits from Pinkerton to Make Believe and even Raditude. Joining it will be Strokes cover band Different Strokes and Queens of the Stone Age tribute Lullabies to Paralyze. — Obed Manuel

Raised on Dolly at Double Wide
It’s Dolly Parton’s birthday, and the trailer bar’s hosting an all-night Dolly cover band, a Dolly look-alike contest and some Easy Slider goodies. — CG

Damn Fine Music Fest II at Three Links
With five Twin Peaks-themed bands performing one-night-only sets, King Camel’s second annual Damn Fine Music Fest promises to be hot, too! — Pete Freedman

*NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys Video Dance Party at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
Let’s face it, you still remember all the choreography to the “Bye Bye Bye” video, and haven’t gotten a chance to break it out in years. — CG

Six-Year Anniversary at Community Beer Co.
Celebrating six years of beers in the Design District with, well, more beers! Plus food trucks, bands and the usual hubub. We’ll raise a glass (or six) to that! — CG

Denton Womxn’s Rally 2019 at Denton County Courthouse on the Square
For the third year in a row, women in hundreds of cities around the country will don their pink pussy hats and protest President Pussygrabber while also highlighting the diverse array of issues affecting the community. This is one such rally! — CG

“Broken Dolls” at Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth
In conjunction with the museum’s current exhibition of Laurie Simmons’ photographs, this concert “will feature works by women and LGBTQ composers, exploring feminism and domesticity.” — CG

Cornbread & Country with Elaina Kay and Chef Graham Dodds at Garden Cafe
Some of y ou look like you have to use measurements to make country gravy — and it shows. We’re guessing that’s not the case with either southern celebrity chef, Dodds or the country singer, Kay, entertaining folks at this dinner and silent auction. — CG

Party With Snow Tha Product at Dino’s Live
The popular rapper will not be performing, but making her first public appearance in Fort Worth in over eight years. Party on and stay woke. — CG

Wild Moccasins at Ruins
Imagine breaking up with the same person you’re in a band with. That’s what Wild Moccasins newest album is all about. Band members Zahira Gutierrez and Cody Swann broke up at the time when writing Look Together, the album served as therapy, or so they say. Give it a listen, it might be all the therapy you need tonight, or maybe they created this generation’s Rumors. — Gina Torres

Gelande Quaffing at Slater’s 50/50
A team event where you and your drinking buddies will put up a Hamilton that says you guys are the best at sliding, catching and chugging brews. Uniforms encouraged. — CG

Casey Donahew Band at Billy Bob’s
The Burleson-raised Donahew has been a Texas bar rock staple for going on 14 years now. Even though his band has since become bigger players in the national country scene in recent years, they’ll still drop a song or two about the Fort Worth Stockyards on you. For that matter, you’re likely to hear a countrified version of a classic hip-hop song or two at this one, as well. — CG

Sunday

Selma at Texas Theatre (Free)
This happens to be one of the most important films of 2015. It’s a biopic on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., his dream and his timeless march from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama. It was universally praised, and the eve of the observance of what would have been his 88th birthday is a fitting time to give it another watch. — Chase Whale

Sarah Jaffe at Dan’s Silverleaf
Day two of two is an earlybird show. — CG

Gone With the Wind at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
An 80th anniversary screening on the highest grossing film ever when adjusted for inflation and stuff. — CG

Total Eclipse of the Moon at Belo Garden Park
This late night bike ride departs from the park at 8 and gets back around the time the moon goes dark at 10:41. Helmets required. — CG

The Bounce at Regal Room
DJ KMOR kicks off hiw new weekly party with special guest MUTEMOR, who’ll be spinning a reggaeton set. Guests and vibes will vary from week to week. — CG

Gallagher at Gas Monkey Live
A comedy set from the old timer once known for his fast-talking, watermelon-smashing ways before segwaying into his late period identity as a guy that says racist stuff in podcasts. — CG

Leonid & Friends at Granada Theater
The Russian operatives are a Chicago cover band known for the tens of millions of YouTube hits they’ve racked up. — CG

Dallas Women’s March 2019 at St. Paul UMC
Akin to the one further up the page, this is another such rally! — CG

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