Things To Do This Week.

Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

Want to set the Guinness World Record for shoving the most drinking straws in your mouth at once? Then, as this guy will tell you, you’re probably going to have to remove all of your teeth.

Want to set a personal record for attending the most events around DFW this week? That one’s a whole lot less painful. We’ll even give you a head start by pointing you in the right direction.

Monday (5.30)
Memorial Day is Funny at Rubber Gloves
Comedy sets from Riverboat Gamblers’ Mike Wiebe, Billy Curly Darcy Littlefield and more.

Carrie & Francine at The Wild Detectives
A play about 13-year-old girls.

Outward Bound Mixtape Sessions at RBC
The Krissy Arnold tribute show.

Tuesday (5.31)
Gutterth Live: The Final Episode at Rubber Gloves
With Shiny Around The Edges, Knee Pad, Dear Human, New Science Projects, Cerulean Giallo.

Hair at The Magnolia
It’s the dawning of the age of Aquarius.

Wednesday (6.1)
James McCartney at Sundown
Paul’s boy.

Adia Victoria at Three Links
And then you die.

Super Hero Pub Crawl in Deep Ellum
It stops at Wits End, High & Tight, Twilite, Brick & Bones and On Premise.

Lindy Hop Lessons at Sons of Hermann Hall
The first week in a new class series.

Bar Politics: Immigration Edition at Absinthe Lounge
A live, Dallas-centric version of The Daily Show.

Thursday (6.2)
Keb Mo at Majestic Theatre
The worst is yet to come.

Love Cop at Aqua Lab
With Funeral Gold, Vogue Machine.

A-Kon Masquerade Ball at Hilton Anatole
They’ve got the biggest balls of them all.

Hip-Hop Karaoke at Crown and Harp
Mount up.

Friday (6.3)
Refused, The Coathangers at Trees
New noise.

Aries Spears at Addison Improv
You MAD, bro?

Half-Price Books Clearance Sale at Arlington Convention Center
Everything’s $2 or less.

Over the Rhine at Granada Theater
Meet them at the edge of the world.

Tiger Army at Gas Monkey Live
A dark and lonely night.

Tim McGraw at WinStar World Casino
He’s an Indian outlaw.

Slobberbone at Rubber Gloves
With The Marked Men, Baptist Generals, Akkolyte, Terminator 2, Orcanaut and many more.

Fan Expo at Dallas Convention Center
With Stan Lee, William Shatner, Kevin Smith, John Cusak, C-3PO, Chewbacca and many more.

A-Kon at Hilton Anatole
An anime fest!

KXT Summer Cut at South Side Ballroom
With Edward Sharpe, The Wild Feathers, San Fermin, Bibi Bourelly and more.

R. Kelly at American Airlines Center
Hide yo wife, hide yo kids.

Red Bull Global Rallycross at Fair Park
Start your engines.

Saturday (6.4)
Bulladora Music Experience at Reverchon Park
With Alunageorge, Cheat Codes, Shamir, Powers, Great Good Fine OK and Paperwhite.

Record Hop at Rubber Gloves
With Hogpig, Mandarin, Spooky Folk, Pinkish Black, Fishboy and many more.

Dallas Trocars Casket Races at Flag Pole Hill
Death on four wheels.

Kenny Chesney at AT&T Stadium
With Miranda Lambert, Jake Owen, Old Dominion.

Charley Crockett at Granada Theater
Celebrating the release of his new album.

Ginuwine at Gas Monkey Live
His saddle’s waiting.

Taste of Dallas at Fair Park
Yum.

Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series at Hell’s Gate
Make a splash.

Quaker City Night Hawks at Lola’s
Celebrating the release of their new album with two release shows in one night.

Art Conspiracy Presents: ANONYMOUS at Life in Deep Ellum
A grayscale charity art auction.

Daniel Markham at Three Links
Celebrating the release of his latest album.

Spam Jam Celebrity Cook-Off at Casa Manana
Stay classy, Fort Worth.

True Romance Rockabilly Party at Texas Theatre
Who said romance is dead?

Sunday (6.5)
Lift to Experience at Rubber Gloves
With Dove Hunter, The Angelus, Corn Mo, Pleasant Grove, Moving Panoramas and more.

Bulladora Music Experience at Reverchon Park
With Yeasayer, Washed Out, MOTHXR, Jr Jr, XYLO and Lostboycrow.

Cake Jam III at Dada
Wish –topic and Joonbug happy birthdays.

Slim Thug at Trees
Get it in.

Robert Ellis at Kessler Theater
Sing along.

Chefs for Farmers Mix-Off at DEC on Dragon
A cocktail competition.

Far East Movement at Bungalow Beach Club
Make a splash.