Have a Boss Christmas.

While anti-marijuana ads never seem very effective, Australia's latest campaign seems like the most ridiculous we've seen yet.

Earlier this year, they rolled out the latest anti-weed mascot, Stoner Sloth, a comically giant sloth that has trouble performing basic tasks like passing the salt at the dinner table without fumbling around and letting out a hilarious groan.

It's memorable, sure, but mostly because it seems like a joke. Alas, it turns out the Stoner Sloth is not an anti-drug parody at all. Sadly — or quite humorously, depending on which side you're on — he's the real deal.

No matter how much weed you happen to smoke this week, there's no excuse for moping around the house this holiday week. Even the biggest Stoner Sloth should have little trouble finding something to do, seeing as how we've laid out your whole week and all.

Monday (12.21)
Die Hard at Alamo Drafthouse
Yipee ki-yay motherfuckers.

Michael Martin Murphy at Bass Performance Hall
Sing, “Wildfire.”

Tuesday (12.22)
Preservation Hall Christmas at Meyerson Symphony Center
Shake that thing.

Josh Groban at Music Hall at Fair Park
What child is this?

J Fernandez at Double Wide
With Wray.

Wednesday (12.23)
Welcome to Your Funeral at Kessler Theater
The Rigor Mortis doc earns its premiere.

Lil Texas at Rio Room
Whoa.

Thursday (12.24)
Merry Tuba Christmas at Thanksgiving Square
Get low.

Ryan Tharp at Magnolia Motor Lounge
Let 'em run.

Raj Sharma at Addison Improv
Laugh out loud.

Friday (12.25)
Charlie Robison at Billy Bob's
Good times.

Falcons at Lizard Lounge
Boss mackin'.

Saturday (12.26)
Rick Ross at The Bomb Factory
Like a boss.

Goodnight Ned at Double Wide
With Natural Anthem.

Casey Donahew Band at Billy Bob's
Whiskey, baby.

Kennedy Jones at Lizard Lounge
Come to party.

Sunday (12.27)
Unsilent Night at The Bomb Factory
With Motionless in White, Crown the Empire, Upon a Burning Body and more.

Gilmore Guys Live at Texas Theatre
A Stars Hollow town meeting.

Shakey Graves, T. Hardy Morris at Granada Theater
Drown on a mountaintop.

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