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Hit a Stain With Chief Keef at South Side Music Hall, Make A BFD Out Of A Perfect Circle at Dos Equis Pavilion, Get Cookin’ At DEBC’s Annual Brew-BQ, Dive In to the W’s Memorial Day Pool Party or Get Lit AF With Martin Lawrence at Verizon.

The saying “forever young” may be popular, but it’s not typically intended to be taken literally. Try telling that to someone like Sidney Bouvier Gilstrap-Portley, who took the saying way too far when he enrolled himself as a student in the Dallas ISD.

Somehow, the 25-year-old was able to pass as a 17-year-old for nine months, first enrolling in Skyline High School and then in Hillcrest High School where he made the basketball team.

Gilstrap-Portley’s reasons for trying to pass as a younger man were to dominate the little boys on the court, and date 14-year-olds. Yikes.

We’re not saying you should follow in this criminal’s footsteps, but we are saying you should live your best life this Memorial Day weekend. Just try to, um, get it right the first time so you’re not tempted to re-live those glory days. There are a lot of ways to turn up this weekend — literally.  — Gina Torres

Friday

Rodney Carrington at WinStar World Casino and Resort
The country singing comedian is best known for a song about writing a letter to his penis. He’ll do that one and a bunch of other crass tunes for what one must assume is an audience comprised largely of 14-year-olds (at heart). — Cory Graves

Flatland Cavalry at Billy Bob’s
Lubbock’s young Red Dirt heroes return to the World’s Largest Hfatheonky-Tonk. Certainly a band on the rise. — CG

Texas State Championships of Foosball at Westin DFW Airport Hotel
You’ll kick yourself for missing it. — CG

Shaka at Three Links
Punk-meets-reggae with local trio Shaka. Expect more of the same from The Stinky Gringos and The Broke$, too. — GT

Lace at Double Wide
The Houston hardcore act branched into “restless post-punk experimentalism” with its April-released debut full-length. The band bills itself as a gratingly loud live act, so a run to the ol’ earplugs store might not be unwarranted. Perdidos, The Lung and HairKut open. — CG

DDG at Trees
Youtuber-turned-rapper PontiacMadeDDG is known for his vlogs with over 1.3 million subscribers. No doubt there’s something unique with this internet sensation, who you can catch early in his budding rap career. — GT

Dokota Ritter at The Prophet Bar
If you love country music, then you need to be at Dakota’s I Love Country Music Tour. This East Texan is climbing his way to the top of the country music industry. — GT

Luis Miguel at American Airlines Center
Although he was born in Puerto Rico, Miguel he was raised in Mexico and soon became known as “El Sol de Mexico.” The Latin legend is known for his pop and bolero sound. It’s always a celebracion when he’s in town. — GT

Steely Dan, The Doobie Brothers at Toyota Music Factory
The death of founding member Walter Becker hasn’t stopped his old writing partner Donald Fagan from carrying on the duo’s musical torch using the good Steely Dan name. Co-headliners, the Doobies have shared many members with the Dans over the years, notably Michael McDonald and Jeff Baxter. — CG

Lil’ Ed & The Blues Imperials at Big Beat Dallas (Free)
The Chicago natives have been surrounded by blues music since their infancy, and have been putting out records for 40 years now. Their latest release Guitar Player is a reflection of the boogie blues sound they’re known for.  — GT

Ivy Queen at House of Blues
Known as the Queen of Reggaeton, Ivy Queen brings to life the Latin trap genre with some of her biggest hits like “La Vida Es Asi” and “Yo Quiero Bailar.” This Latina brings all the extra-ness to her performances. — GT

I Miss The Old Kanye at RBC
Come ready for G.O.O.D. Music from Ye. Let’s remember old Kanye — the one without the crazy tweets, political misgivings and jokey poop verses. Take it back to the era of College Dropout and Graduation. To when Kanye still could be considered a backpack rapper. Wake up Mr.West! — GT

Con of Thrones 2018 at Hyatt Regency Dallas
Are you a Game of Thrones fanatic? It’s been a minute since we’ve gotten any new episodes, and they won’t be coming any time soon, either. But this packed weekend dedicated to the biggest Throne fans — that’ll feature programs, panels, workshops and more — will help hold us over until winter is here. — GT

2018 National Polka Festival in Ennis, TX
Three days of oom-pah-ing and whatnot. — CG

Rick Ross at Music Hall at Fair Park
The boss himself is in town, Rick Ross. The mastermind, businessman and Wingstop franchisee is also known for living his best life and bridge for many hip-hop artists into the music industry. — GT

Footloose the Musical at Theatre Arlington
Sometimes you gotta cut footloose and dance in the aisles to your favorite ’80s musical soundtrack. — GT

Tetrach at The Dirty 30
The thrash metal band brings an explosive set to Expo Park. Considered by some to be the first African-American female metal guitarist, Diamond Rowe is the founder Tetrarch. Its purpose to bring metal to the new generation. Talk about making your mark. You go sis! — GT

Crave Cabaret at The Nines
Add some variety to your nightlife and watch these odd performers, from a comedian to the Femme Fatale and a variety of things in between. — GT

The Daybreak Hits (Album Release) at Main at South Side
The Fort Worth venue is co-owned by a whole bunch of local musicians, several of which play in this brand new dad rock band, which is celebrating the release of its debut album at this show. — CG

Red, White and Brew Weekend at Texas Ale Project
In honor of our veterans, 20 percent of sales will go to Honor Courage Commitment Inc. in helping veterans transition. Plus, veterans or active Military showing their military ID will receive a free beer in the T.A.P. Room. — GT

Saturday

Iceage at Club Dada
Post-punk band from Denmark, Iceage is back with a new album, Beyondless and subsequent support tour. Also on the bill is Austin-based, new wave/punk band Temple of Angels. — Jacob Besser

Dallas Pets Alive Pub Crawl at Dot’s Hop House
Grab your pups and get ready for a fun day of meeting other dogs and humans while visiting some of Deep Ellum’s most popular bars (Braindead, Easy Slider, Anvil, Twilite, Three Links, Armoury). Your dog will be on a leash but the pup crawl is gonna be off the chain. — JB

William Clark Green at Billy Bob’s
Even if you like The Beatles and your boo likes the Stones, you’ll find some common ground at this alt-country show. — CG

Hayes Carll at Levitt Pavilion (Free)
A hyperliterate lyricist in the vein of Rhett Miller and a vocalist crooner indebted to Ray Wylie Hubbard, Carll’s music is pure Texan — and in the best way possible. It swings and it swaggers, it rollicks and it bites. And, in live settings, his drunken charms are only multiplied. He’s a treasure. — Pete Freedman

David Michael George at Three Links
DMG hails from the same local band of yesteryear that also sprang Bad Mountain. That would be the Roaming Soldiers, a band George previously fronted. His new project is a bit more R&B influenced than any of those bands, however. — CG

Kirk Franklin at Toyota Music Factory
Kirk Franklin presents his Exodus Music & Arts Festival, featuring performances by Martin Sapp, Erica Campbell, Tamela Mann, Tye Tribbett, Koryn Hawthorne and himself, among others. — JB

Top Shelf: A Drag Show at The Wild Detectives
This month’s Women Galore festival continues with an event celebrating and exploring gender and identity via an especially subversive drag revue. Rolla Derby, Kilo Kikii, Rose Gold and Kylee Ohara Fatale are among the (mentally) stimulating performers who’ll be stroking and provoking your mind. — CG

The Dan Band at House of Blues
The comedy rock band seen in The Hangover and Old School will be at the House of fucking Blues. — JB

Chulita Vinyl Club at Independent Bar & Kitchen
The all-women of color DJ collective, Chulita Vinyl Club’s Austin chapter will be at IBK spinning records. Dallas’ own Pinta Labios opens. — JB

NY Cat Film Festival at Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth
NY Cat Film Festival, is a collection of short films, both narrative and documentary, all fitting the base requirement of featuring cats. Get all your weird cat-loving friends out of the house for once. — JB

Sci-Fi Music Fest at RUINS
Five local supergroups were formed just for this event. Folks from bands like Sealion, Teenage Sexx, Dead Mockingbirds and Party Static are performing new, original scores based on classic sci-fi movies including Terminator, 5th Element, Blade Runner, Alien and 12 Monkeys.

DAMN XXX at Texas Theatre
Musical performances from ambient artists R. Lee Dockery, Adam Pacione, Derek Rogers, Atop and Endless Caverns will be paired with video presentations by Michael Alexander, Morris, Sean Miller, Mike Petty, Chad Walls, Lurn Maxwell, Jonathan Cote, John Durbin and Julie McKendrick at the 30th installment of this long-running series. — JB

Yoga at Lakewood Brewing Company
Beer and Yoga. Because, why not put those things together. Yoga instructor Leigha McCathren from Summit Climbing, Yoga & Fitness will be leading the class. — JB

Thai Culture and Food Festival at Buddhist Temple of Dallas
Get some culture by eating at the Food Bazaar, watching some Muay Thai matches and enjoying tons of vendors.  — JB

Ron Bultongez, Harper Grace at Trees
Originally born in the Democratic Republic, Ron Bultongez moved to Plano as a kid, where he has since become something of a “hometown hero.” The 2018 American Idol finalist comes home where he’ll perform alongside fellow Idol finalist Harper Grace. Dallas indie rock bands The Wild Frontiers and Blue Apollo open. — JB

BFD at Dos Equis Pavilion
It’s always a big fucking deal when local radio station The Eagle hosts its annual hard rock show. BFD is bringing rock acts A Perfect Circle, Stone Temple Pilots, Theory of a Deadman, Nothing More, I Prevail, Candlebox and more to the Dos Equis Pavilion fora day reminiscing over the heavy music that shaped the late ’90s and the ’00s. — JB

Boombox Cartel at Stereo Live Dallas
EDM DJs Boombox Cartel will be at Stereo Live Dallas playing some of their bass heavy, high energy electronic music. — JB

Heroes of Wrestling at Southern Junction (Royse City)
Charity wrestling organization Heroes of Wrestling hosts its Memorial Day Mayhem event. See some body slams, elbow drops and general testosterone filled wraslin’ this Saturday at Southern Junction. — JB

Sunday

Forever in Your Mind at Club Dada
The LA boy band formed on the talent show The X Factor in 2013. Simon Cowell placed the individuals together even though they didn’t win the competition they went off to release music on their own. — JB

Honky Tonk Man’s Shake, Rattle and Roll Comedy Showcase at Three Links
Former wrestler Honky Tonk Man has stepped out of the ring and onto stages all across America. He will be at Three Links with fellow WWE veteran Greg “The Hammer” Valentine and Parks and Rec actor Jonathan Joss telling humorous behind-the-scenes stories from his squared-circle days. — JB

Fifth Anniversary at Twilite Lounge (Free)
Ellum’s little slice of NOLA celebrates turning five with a free outdoor concert on the back patio featuring Halls of the Machine, Motorcade and Plandroid. — CG

Gringopalooza at Three Links
Alt Country band The Hickoids from Austin, Texas will be playing Gringopalooza along with San Diego rock band Dead Bolt and local punk band Loco Gringos. — JB

Michael Angelo Batio at Trees
One of the most recognized guitar players, Michael Angelo is known for his over-the-top noodlings. His guitar lessons have influenced many artists. He invented many techniques like “MAB Over-Under technique, and tools like his four necked “Quad” guitar. — JB

Justin Timberlake at American Airlines Center
From appearing on the Mickey Mouse Club as a child, to his first taste of international stardom with N*SYNC and eventually becoming the independent pop artist, Justin Timberlake has managed to relevant for 20 years, which is not an easy task. — JB

New Math Fest 2018 at Off The Record
Noted DJs Jon Bap, Ohbliv, Black Spade, Stefan Ringer, Blaque Dynamite, Ben Hixon, JT Donaldson, Lord Byron, RAMI, Notwolfy, Evan Bornes, Afrikan Sciences, Damon Bell and AY.MZ all spin at this New Math Records celebration. — JB

8th Annual Brew-BQ at Deep Ellum Brewing Company
The first Brew-BQ started in parking lot before the commencement of DEBC as an opportunity to get to know your neighbors and try out beers. Eight years later they’re still holding similar parties. This one features live music by Somebody’s Darling, Atlantis Aquarius, and Matt Tedder, along with specialty brews, barbecue, games, and more! — GT

Dallas Margarita Meltdown at Dallas Farmers Market
Who doesn’t love a good margarita? Get tipsy over 5,000 samples and find out who has the best margarita in the DFW area. — GT

Memorial Day Pool Party at W Dallas
Kickoff summer with Summer Sundaze! Enjoy a panoramic infinity pool 16 stories above the Dallas skyline. The most poppin pool party is here! — GT

The Art & Soul Festival at The Dirty 30
Feed your mind, body, and soul. Enjoy hookah, food trucks on deck, and live performances. A total of 15 performances ranging from music, dance, poetry and art. — GT

Chief Keef at South Side Music Hall
Faneto! As soon as that beat drops the crowd goes crazy. His biggest hits “I Don’t Like” and “Love Sosa.” His newest release The Glo-Files, Pt. 2, similarly gets the people going. — GT

Jackopierce at The Rustic
This Dallas alternative band is all about showing love. Their sound consists of vocal harmonies and acoustic guitar. Their latest single, “Got To Believe In Love.” With every ticket comes a free CD copy of the new album. — GT

Jamz Day Off at Double Wide
Tribute act Primadonnas performs Madonnas greatest hits, followed by a drag show and other surprises. — GT

Young Dolph at Gas Monkey Live
Besides giving away $20,000 to baristas, Young Dolph is a Memphis rapper who topped charts in 2016 with his King of Memphis record. He’s bringing Key Glock, Lil’ Man, Rickadon, Pat Ron and Sailor along for tonight’s show. — GT

Lit AF Tour at Verizon Theatre
Damn Gina! You can’t miss this night full of laughs hosted by Martin Lawrence, featuring SNL alumn Jay Pharoah, Conan writer Deon Cole, “Queen of Comedy”Adele Givens and Benji Brown, one of Diddy’s Bad Boy comedians. — GT

Monday

The Air In May at Prophet Bar
Dallas experimental singer-songwriter project The Air in May shares this bill with similarly inclined projects 1967, Color of You, The Max Hill Band and Brave Crusade. — JB

Hello Summer! Tour at Deep Ellum Art Co.
Jamey Geston is a singer-songwriter whose dreamy indie pop forces you to smile and sway, Geston is currently on her Hello, Summer! Tour with Cody Lynn Boyd, Megan Storie and Bayleigh Cheek. — JB

Justin Timberlake at American Airlines Center
JT  brings sexy back for the second night on his short, two-night AAC residency. — JB

Holy Wave at Transit Bicycle Co.
Psych rock in a bike shop? You bet. Better still, this show is raising money for the Resource Center, with $1 out of every $10 entrance fee going to support that organization’s HIV/AIDS education and prevention services within the local LGBTQ community. — JB

Satyricon, Goatwhore, Sparrow, A Devil’s Daydream at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill
Satyricon is a black metal band whose cold and brutal sound could only be shaped in Norway. The black metal legends will be at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill, bringing Goatwhore along with them for the ride. Dallas-based black metal acts Sparrows and A Devil’s Daydream open. — JB

Chief Keef cover photo via his Facebook page.

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