Send Off Slayer at The Bomb Factory, Spin a Yarn at Oral Fixation, Pop Some Tags With Kesha and Macklemore, Fly With The Eagles, Have Beers With Beto or Get The Update From Michael Che.

Recently, a 63-year-old South Korean woman’s mouth was inseminated by a dead squid when she ate an undercooked animal without removing its sex organs. She said it felt like several bugs were biting and penetrating her oral mucosa.

So, um, I guess the lesson to be learned here is to make sure all your squids are properly prepared and cooked through before sticking them in your mouth.

A second lesson to note this week is that if you are going to leave the house the next few days, make sure you do so with a plan. Here’s a list of the best bets, none of which involve squid.

Monday (6.18)
Hop Along at Dada
Bat Fangs opens.

The Sea & Cake at Deep Ellum Art Co.
L.A. Takedown opens.

Tuesday (6.19)
Guided by Voices at Trees
A salty salute.

Slayer, Lamb of God, Anthrax at The Bomb Factory (Sold Out)
The final tour.

Diana Krall at Verizon Theatre
Turn up the quiet.

Network at Angelika Film Center
Don’t take it anymore.

Oral Fixation: All Over the Map at Moody Performance Hall
An obsession with true life tales.

Dallas Juneteenth Festival at Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center (Free)
Free at last.

Wednesday (6.20)
The Adventures of Kesha and Macklemore at Dos Equis Pavilion
Don’t let the bastards get you down.

Picasso: Matador de Malaga at Ochre House
A Matthew Posey original.

Empire Records at Sundown (Free)
Damn the Man! Save the Empire!

Sheck Wes at Trees
Do that.

Thursday (6.21)
Decks in the Park at Klyde Warren Park
Park it.

Frank Caliendo at Addison Improv
It’s the impression that I get.

Hockey Dad at Three Links
Cold Fronts and Mt Eddy open.

Rick and Morty Trivia at Twilite Lounge (Fort Worth)
Questions that’ll blow your mind and crush your soul.

Friday (6.22)
Charley Crockett at Statler Ballroom
Tomar & The FCs opens.

Trevor Noah at WinStar World Casino (Sold Out)
When news breaks, he fixes it.

Caroline Rose at The Rustic
More of the same.

New Found Glory at House of Blues
Bayside and The Movielife open.

Michael Che at Majestic Theatre
Have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow.

Snow Tha Product at South Side Music Hall
Stay woke.

Beers With Beto at Shipping & Receiving Bar
Texas deserves better.

Social Science: Being Human at The Perot Museum
More human than human.

Robb Bank$ at Trees
Fuck umean?

Saturday (6.23)
Chris D’Elia at Majestic Theatre
He’s so random.

Water Gun Fight at Klyde Warren
Squirt, squirt.

The Eagles, Chris Stapleton at AT&T Stadium
Take it to the limit.

Middle Kids at Dada
Lola Kirke opens.

Taste of Dallas at Gas Monkey Live
Eat up.

Summerthon III at Shipping & Receiving Bar
With Bun B, Son of Stan, pools and more.

6-Pack Trail, Bike Cruis & Craft Beer Tour
Bikes and booze.

2018 NHL Draft Fan Fest at American Airlines Center
Go five hole.

40 Anniversary of the Lego Minifig at Legoland Discovery Center
Don’t go barefoot.

Clueless at Inwood Theatre
As if.

Sunday (6.24)
Jason Boland, Cody Canada, Mike McClure at Love and War in Texas (Plano)
Ride the red dirt road.

Fort Worth Weekly Music Awards Showcases
Some 40 bands at eight venues.

Satanic Abortion, CBN, Mental Abortion, Filth, Big Hand//Big Knife at Dan’s Silverleaf
Live babies not welcome.

Party for the Deceased II at The Church
Rest in peace.

Slayer cover photo by Martin Jausller.

No more articles