Sign Up For Cheap Tattoos, Laugh Your MASS Off or Listen to Crude Raps About a Beloved Local Disney Star.

Something mildly terrifying that I just learned is that spiders can fly hundreds of miles in the air, not by using their non-existent wings, but by commanding the power of the electricity in earth’s atmosphere.

It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

Something mildly comforting that makes me temporarily forget about flying spiders is that no matter what day of the week it is, or how much money I have (spoiler: it’s none!) I can still find something to do in Dallas tonight.

Elm Street Tattoo Marathon
Pre-sign-up for tomorrow’s tattoo marathon tonight at Heart in Hand Gallery in Deep Ellum, and guarantee yourself a slot to join the “13” club at some point tomorrow. It’s a Dallas tradition.

Hairspray at Winspear Opera House
The musical adaptation of John Waters’ most recognizable/mainstream feature hits the Dallas stage once again. The hit Broadway musical runs through July 15.

Michael Blackson at Addison Improv
The one-time Kevin Hart bro — the two were tight before Blackson went in on Hart for infidelity, accused him of not writing his own jokes, and saying he could ‘whoop his ass’ in a fist fight – is in Addison through the end of the weekend performing his original material.

Dokken at The Rail Club
The “Burning Like a Flame” outfit performs their ‘80s brand of glam metal out in the Fort – sans legendary guitarist, and founding member, George Lynch, who was recently in town with his own Lynch Mob band.

Laugh Your MASS Off w/ Mike Stanley & Reena Calm at Main At South Side (Free)
The pair of highly-touted Chicago comedians, and Laugh Factory regulars, headline MASS’s regular, free comedy show. Locals KeLanna Spiller and Stephen Gammill open up the show and, as always, host Brian Breckenridge keeps the train-a-rolling. There’s no cover, but donations for the performers are suggested.

Comethazine at RBC
The 19-year-old, former Sbarro employee gave up that food court life to pursue Soundcloud rap – partly so he could get famous enough to bone locally-bred ex-Disney star Demi Lovato. As he raps on his viral “DEMI” single, “I just signed a deal, my wrist got colder / I just wanna fuck Demi Lovato when I’m older.”

Reckless Kelly at Lava Cantina
The Braun brothers are back in town, this time playing a quieter/earlier show than usual to avoid that pesky noise ordinance.

Peelander Yellow, Kaisoku Tokyo at Three Links/strong>
Peelander-Z vocalist Kengo Hioki – aka Peelander Yellow – is on a solo run with fellow Japanese punks Kaisoku Tokyo. Local act Nosferat II opens.

DAMN: Dallas Ambient Music Nights at Deep Ellum Art Co.
Damn, Dallas! Back at it again with the ambient music nights – the 32nd one to be exact.

Fix a Flat Class at Local Hub Bicycle Co. (Free)
Watch and learn as the Deep Ellum bike mechanics show you the best ways to fix that flat. The class is free, and lasts about an hour.

Comethazine cover photo via his Facebook page

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