5   +   2   =  

Stay The Same.

If you’re a mammal, science says it should only take you 12 seconds to poop. It’s to protect you from predators!

That is, if you’re doing it right. And as a bonus, not only do you not get eaten by a mountain lion, it also leaves you plenty of time to do other things – like something from the following list. — Cory Graves

Ty Herndon at Fair Park Band Shell (Free)
The cute as hell Band Shell in Fair Park isn’t utilized near enough. When the weather’s nice, it’s one of the coolest spots in town to catch a concert. Don’t let the opportunity slip through your fingers – especially given that you can catch this Grammy-nominated country star for free. — CG

Orgone, Monophonics at Dada
Two current California bands that rely heavily on ’70s California bands to inform their vintage psych/soul sounds. — CG

Rival Sons at House of Blues
Rival Sons’ last big tour was opening for Black Sabbath’s farewell tour. Though the legendary band isn’t coming with them to Billy Bob’s, it should speak volumes that they were chosen to be the opening act for one of music’s biggest icons – volumes being the key word, here. — Obed Manuel

The Weeks at The Prophet Bar
If Kings of Leon stripped away the tendency to channel the U2 sound they picked up somewhere around their fourth LP, they’d probably sound an awful lot like fellow Nashvillians The Weeks. Almost unsettlingly so, really. It’s not that this is a bad thing, per se — those long forgotten early KoL discs were actually pretty decent — but we can’t imagine frontman Cyle Barnes putting up too much of a defense if one were to accuse him of intentionally mimicking Caleb Followill’s affected southern drawl. — CG

Homegrown Presents: Dazed and Confused at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
You know what kicks ass about Dazed and Confused? You get older, and it stays the same. And you know what makes this most recent screening even more kickass? The opportunity to win tickets to catch the reunited Tripping Daisy at Homegrown later this month. — CG

Tullamore Dew Whiskey Dinner at Trinity Hall Irish Pub
Three traditional Irish courses served with the No. 2-selling Irish whiskey worldwide at an Irish-theme pub. For bonus points end your night with an Irish goodbye. — CG

Tuesday Night Trash: Night of the Zombies at Texas Theatre (Free)
When the director of this blatant Dawn of the Dead ripoff was doing the commentary track for its DVD release, he called its dialogue “pretty stupid.” Well, if you can’t make fun of yourself… — CG

Sewing Class w/ Julie McCullough at Jade & Clover
Learn to sew the Folksie way with the Dallas designer behind the made-to-order Folksie brand. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our event directory.

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