During A Brief Stint As The Proud Boys’ Leader, Idiotic Denton Lawyer Jason Lee Van Dyke Unintentionally Exposed the Names Of The Group’s Top Brass. Whoops!

It hasn’t been a happy holiday season thus far for radical right wing “fraternity” known as The Proud Boys.

In case you’ve missed any of the flurry of activity from the male-only posse of so-called “Western chauvinists” over the Thanksgiving media lull – including the rise and fall of a North Texas-based leadership figure – here’s a brief timeline to catch you up.


That’s a pretty not-great stretch there for the Proud Boys — and possibly even worse for Van Dyke, who couldn’t even get an organization of shitbags to support him for any considerable amount of time.

See Also: IS DALLAS-SPRUNG MUSICIAN TY RICHARDS A PROUD BOYS MEMBER? // He Wrote A Maybe-Satirical Song About Proud Boys But Refuses To Say Whether It Is Indeed Satirical. He Also Appeared On Gavin McInnes’ Podcast. What Gives?

As far as learning more about the inner workings of the bizarre Proud Boys organization, though, it’s been a pretty great little run. While many of the Proud Boys’ offbeat codes of conduct have admittedly been known and widely publicized for years, it’s still worth noting some of the more ridiculous portions of the bylaws, which, as noted above, we’ve now received, word-for-word from the group’s top brass thanks to Van Dyke’s incompetency.

Take, for instance, these following rules:

  • “Membership in the Fraternity shall be limited to persons who were born male, who currently identify as male.”
  • White supremacists, members of the alt-right (“or any person who is a member of an organization identifying as such”), terrorist organizations or Antifa are prohibited from membership.
  • No “wanking” more than once per month unless “the act occurs during a consensual sexual contact with a female who is not a prostitute.”
  • The second degree of initiation into the fraternity involves prospective members reciting the names of five breakfast cereals while current members punch them: “Immediately after reciting the Fraternity Creed, the supervising brother shall instruct to probationer to name five breakfast cereals. At that time, the five brothers surrounding the probationer shall begin punching the probationer only in the arms and torso area of his body until such a time as he recites the names of five breakfast cereals. The supervising brother shall count the cereals aloud and the punching shall immediately cease once either (a) the fifth breakfast cereal is reached; or (b) the probationer indicates through words or actions that he is unable to continue and wishes to withdraw from the Fraternity.” At which point the new initiate is to receive a hug from the supervising brother and everyone that punched him.

It’s no wonder that current Proud Boy leader Enrique Tarrio claims many of the group’s bylaws are “jokes” meant to bring the left and right together. Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself…

No more articles