Dallas Might Not Film in Dallas? Seriously?
Welcome to D-Rated, our weekly feature that tries to determine if things are looking up or down for Dallasites by arbitrarily assigning point values to current events.
Lactose intolerant: The Morning News took public stances against diarrhea and ice cream this week. And people wonder why print is dying. Minus 2.
Special delivery: Administrators at Mesquite High School recalled this year's senior yearbook after noticing that students had included a section labeling some of their classmates as “mentally retarded.” Hundreds of students will now for a second time have to scribble “Have a great summer!” to people they'll never see again. Minus 5.
School ties: Turns out it's more expensive to attend the University of Texas at Dallas than it is to attend the University of Texas at Austin. But at least UTD has no pubic problems: Down in Austin this week, UT's School of Public Affairs made the common error of forgetting to put the “L” in the word “Public” on its graduation commencement literature. On the plus side, we read an article recently that said that women are getting more and more comfortable with their natural pubic affairs these days, so maybe that's what they were trying to say. Minus 2.
There's always next year: With the NBA Playoffs now essentially at their halfway point, basketball pundits are starting to turn their eyes toward the off-season — a time in which your Dallas Mavericks are expected to big players. The good news? The latest reports say Dwight Howard might want to come to Dallas. The bad news? Deron Williams might not. In other news, Lamar Odom's still available. Plus 1.
Name game: Jacob and Sophia are the most popular baby names in Texas this year. Somehow, the name “Dirk” failed to chart yet again. Minus 1.
Crack is whack: A four-year-old boy found a bag of crack cocaine on his father's table and brought the bag into pre-school this week, despite our specifically telling him our office's address multiple times and watching him write it down in front of us. Minus 1.5.
Really, really, ridiculously good-looking: This week, the 44-year-old Tyler resident awesomely otherwise known as the “Handsome Guy Bandit” pleaded guilty to 11 counts of bank robbery across North Texas. He also pleaded guilty to his face having nice bone structure. Minus 2.
Funny money: TNT's looking to start shooting the second season of its reboot of — but they might not do so in the city that bears the series' name if the city can't pony up some more cash to keep them here. Seems like an easy decision. Have we learned nothing from the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Minus 5.
Running themes: The White Rock Marathon officially changed its name to the Dallas Marathon this week, but we still get winded walking up a single flight of stairs, so whatever. Plus 1.
Last week's total: Plus 28.21.
This week's count: Minus 16.5.
This week's running total: Plus 11. 71