Rock The Suburbs.

Recently, some whiz kid techies created a website called Something Pop, which uses math to make hard decisions for you.

For instance? Well, if you're trying to decide what kind of car to buy, you simply plug in the ones you're looking at, what criteria in your search are most important to you and how well each vehicle meets each criteria. Then, boom, the site spits out an objective answer.

The reason we bring this up is because, with multiple music festivals in town this weekend — plus several top-notch bands, comedians, film screenings, etc. — it'll be hard to decide how to spend your limited waking hours.

Friday
JMBLYA at Main Street Garden Park
After an initial run that we deemed “a resounding success,” the team at ScoreMore, has announced that its culture-mashing, EDM-meets-hip-hop Jambalya Festival is returning to Dallas with a shortened name for a second helping. There's at least one notable change to this year's offering, though: As opposed to the South Side complex confines within Jambalaya was hosted in 2013, the 2014 version will be taking place outside, at Main Street Garden Park, from 3 to 10 p.m. And as killer as last year's Tyler the Creator and Big Boi-featuring lineup was, this year's bill — which features Chance the Rapper, Baauer x RL Grime, A$AP Ferg, Purity Ring (DJ Set), GRiZ, Riff Raff, Cashmere Cat, DJ Drama, The Underachievers, Denzel Curry — is, arguably, just as strong. — Pete Freedman

JMBLYA Late Night at Trees
After the party it's the after-party. And, after JMBLYA, it's JMBLYA Late Night at Trees with JMBLYA performers Cashmere Cat and Denzel Curry — along with Tory Manez and Dillon Cooper. If you've shelled out for one of the three VIP packages — and lots of you did, because those suckers have been long sold out — admission to this little party is free. Can't stop, won't stop. — Cory Graves

Dallas International Guitar Festival at Fair Park
Though there are roughly 2,000 guitar shows held annually worldwide, word is that the first ones were held right here in Dallas in the early '80s. Interesting, right? Well, more interesting is that the Dallas International Guitar Festival remains one of the largest guitar shows in the country with over 100 artists slated to perform over the course of the weekend, and over 15,000 people expected to attend this year's event. Jimmy Wallace, George Lynch, Gary Hoey, and Dave Hineman are among the opening night performers this evening. — CG

You Me At Six at The Prophet Bar
Five-piece British pop-rock outfit You Me at Six is no stranger to Dallas. Heck, the band kicked off one of its tours here back in September. And though the band may have been through town a few times before, its sets just seem to get bigger and better every time. — Dominique Goncalves

Steers and Beers Bonspiel at Dr. Pepper Star Center (Farmers Branch)
To those who, unlike us, aren't destined for the 2018 Olympic curling team, we'll let you in on a little secret: “Bonspiel” is British talk for “big ass curling tournament.” Trust us, though, when we say that, whether you're a participant or just a curious gawker, pitchers of beer are an integral part of the sport. The tournament runs through Sunday. — CG

County Lines (Album Release) at J&J's Pizza
Grapevine punk trio County Lines has been performing roughly the same handful of songs for a really long damn time. Tonight, the band will finally release its 12-years-in-the-making debut LP with a performance in the basement of J&J's Pizza. This one will also feature sets from Denton bands Pinebox Serenade and Dim Locator, as well as the live debut of the Derek Terry-led trio Dances With Wolves, which also features a pair of his former Mount Righteous bandmates. — CG

Acid Mothers Temple at The Where House
Like they did this time last year, Japan's extremely noisy, very psychedelic Acid Mothers Temple makes a stop in Fort Worth on its way to Austin's Psych Fest. Thank goodness for spillover! Boston's Perhaps and Fort Worth's Fogg open. — CG

Texas Frightmare Weekend at Hyatt Regency DFW
It's the most wonderful time of the year! Sure, most folks generally reserve that phrase for describing things like the winter holidays, but if you're a gore geek or horror nerd this weekend is sort of like your Christmas. When Texas Frightmare Weekend — the Southwest's premier horror convention — ascends upon the DFW Hyatt Regency this evening, expect three days of Texas-sized terroristic debauchery. If you're a TFW virgin, that's OK, too. After all, the virgin is typically the sole survivor in most horror films. Well, when they're not being used as human sacrifices, at least. In either case, there'll be a lot to see this weekend. For the full schedule of the weekend's events head here. — James Wallace

Gavin DeGraw at House of Blues (Sold Out)
The best way for a musician to assure long-term success, it seems, is to have one's song chosen as the theme to a late-night teen soap. Hey, it worked for Paula Cole, who will, coincidentally, play the Kessler this summer. And there's DeGraw, whose legacy as the dude that penned the One Tree Hill theme is still helping him sell out shows all these years later. It just makes you wonder whatever happened to Phantom Planet, y'know? — CG

Arab Film Festival at Angelika Film Center
For three days this weekend the second annual Arab Film Festival will host various screenings of award-winning short films, feature films and documentaries from Palestine, Iraq, Tunisia, Egypt, Yemen, Lebanon, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and Syria. Tonight's opening night reception will feature a Q&A with producer Isabelle Stead, whose documentary In My Mother's Armswon the Asia Pacific Screen Academy Award for Best Documentary. For the rest of the weekend's events and screenings, check here. — CG

LiL iFFy at Crown and Harp
Knoxville-based rap act LiL iFFy refers to its particular brand of gangster-rap-meets-nerdcore as “wandcore.” And while that genre sounds extremely niche-y, its perfectly befitting of an outfit that raps about nothing but the Harry Potter universe. It's equal parts funny, clever, entertaining and terribly stupid. We'll probably steal the group's “Hey bartender, expecto Patron us!” line next time we're buying a round of tequila shots, though. Jenny Robinson and Doug Funnie open. — CG

Temples at Dada
In its less-than-two-years in existence, English neo-psych rockers Temples has earned itself loads of attention, thanks in no small part to British royalty like Johnny Marr and Noel Gallagher calling them the country's best new band. On its way to Austin Psych Fest, the band will make a stop in Dallas. Drowners and Boogarins open. — CG

Metalachi at Gas Monkey Bar & Grill
Metalachi is not your typical mariachi band. As its name implies, it's a mariachi band that covers metal songs — the first of such group of its kind, or so the band's press materials insinuate. They do more than just that, of course. Over the course of one of their numerous previous stops through town in the past year, the band sprinkled in its takes on such traditional mariachi standards as “Volver Volver,” “Mariachi Loco” and “La Bamba” among its expected covers of Guns N' Roses' “Sweet Child O' Mine” and Bon Jovi's “Livin' on a Prayer.” It was an infectious offering, for sure. And what better way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo than with a mariachi band that covers Rage Against the Machine's “Killing In The Name,” right? Mad Mexicans also performs. — Erika Lambreton

Tensnake at Beauty Bar
The German deep house DJ will no doubt spin his neo-classic signature song “Coma Cat” at some point tonight. The people will dance, and there will be much rejoicing. — CG

Saturday
Denton Mudbug Boil at Lucky Lou's
For the 18th annual Denton Mudbug Boil, organizers will be bringing in 3,000 pounds of crawfish and tapping local acts like Biographies, Madison King and Rodney Parker & 50 Peso Reward to entertain those who show. $25 will get you all the heads you can suck before they run out. — CG

Woods at Dada
With the band's recently released eighth studio effort, Woods has firmly cemented its reputation as the folky-laced Americana act it's most OK for the punk kids to say they like. Quilt and Malandros open. — CG

Suburbia Music Festival at Oak Point Park and Nature Preserve
Outkast might not be playing Live Nation's first-ever Plano-set Suburbia Music Festival, but some 40 or so other bands will perform over the fest's inaugural two-day run. Big enough names that Rolling Stone called it one of the country's can't-miss festivals of the summer. To that end, the fest's Day One performers include Alabama Shakes, Violent Femmes, Yelawolf, Run the Jewels, Surfer Blood and Midlake. — CG

Mike Epps at Verizon Theatre
Comedian Mike Epps started honing his craft when he was just a teen, performing publicly around the Indianapolis area. He eventually made a name for himself after moving to New York and joining the Def Comedy Jam tour, which ultimately led to roles as Day-Day in the Friday sequels and Black Doug in The Hangover. He performs tonight in Grand Prairie. — CG

Tom Jones at Granada Theater
There's a certain campy charm to the bulk of Jones' early catalog. I mean, who can hear “It's Not Unusual” these days without picturing Carlton Banks dancing? Meanwhile, other songs, such as “What's New Pussycat” and even his theme to Bond film Thunderball have always struck us a perfectly befitting to accompany burlesque routines. These days, Jones has adopted a more serious tone with two consecutive religious-tinged gospel albums. It sure gives a whole new meaning to “Delilah.” Anyway, he'll show off both sides of his personality tonight. — CG

Adventure Club at Lizard Lounge
As opposed to the long-running KDGE program that was once hosted by Josh Venable, this Adventure Club is a Canadian dubstep duo. Like Skrillex, who the group cites as an influence, these musicians were also members of a Montreal-based pop-punk band in a former life. Ghost Image and Johnny Funk get the party started. — CG

Eddie Griffin at Addison Improv
It's kind of a shame. Eddie Griffin's one of those people who had a solid career a while ago. Y'know, a successful stand-up career, a TV show, some movies. Then something happens in the public eye and that's all you can kinda think of. In Griffin's case, it was wrecking a $1.5 million Ferrari Enzo, of which there were only 400 made, in front plenty of TV news cameras. — Mikel Galicia

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard at The Foundry (Free)
Along with Japan's Acid Mothers Temple and England's Temples, this show from Australia's King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard marks the third transcontinental Austin Psych Fest spillover act performing in town this weekend. Unlike those other two offerings, though, this sucker is free. And contrary to the band's overtly silly moniker, its own brand of psych rock is surprisingly palatable. The only thing that would have made this one more perfect is if Chicken Scratch offered fried gizzards on its menu. Local ice cream punks Street Arabs open. — CG

Ghost B.C. at House of Blues
It's no accident that Swedish doom metal act Ghost is known primarily for the satanic themes of its music and for its mythical anti-pope frontman character Papa Emeritus. Neither is the fact that, unlike Daft Punk, whose real names have always been known and whose faces have been photographed sans robot helmets and circulated around the web, the five anonymous instrumentals that make up Ghost B.C. are referred to only as Nameless Ghouls. The fact that their names and faces have remained completely anonymous since the band's 2008 inception is exceedingly remarkable considering the not-at-all private age that we live in. King Dude opens. — CG

Cinco de Drinko at Double Wide
As they are wont to do on most drinking holidays, the Double Wide folks are throwing a parking lot party in honor of Monday's Cinco de Mayo. Festivities include a Mexi vs Frenchie costume contest, tacos and elotes from Taqueria Pedritos, a nacho-eating contest, and live music from Androgynous (read: the Dead Flowers' Replacements tribute). — CG

It Happened One Night at Klyde Warren Park
Every Saturday this month, they'll be screening films at Dallas' favorite deck park that were released many decades before the park's namesake was born. First up is the screwball Clark Gable comedy It Happened One Night, which won Best Picture in 1934. Not only does this film pre-date Bugs Bunny by a few years, but Gable's Academy Award-winning performance in the film is said to have inspired the character. — CG

Kentucky Derby Day at Lone Star Park
What better place to watch The Greatest Two Minutes in Sports than the only venue in town where you can legally bet on the thing? Before the Derby, Lone Star Park will host live racing of its own. Afterwards, they'll be showing the Mayweather vs. Maidana Pay-Per-View in the Bar and Book. — CG

The Dickies at Trees
These California-based jokers have made a nearly 40-year career on their brand of bubblegum punk and absolutely never taking themselves seriously. What's more, these guys were pulling off the whole pop-punk covers of classic rock tunes thing decades before Me First & The Gimme Gimmes came along. The American Fuse, Drakulas and The Lash Outs open. — CG

Sunday
Suburbia Music Festival at Oak Point Park and Nature Preserve
The fest's Day Two performers includes David Guetta, Tegan and Sara, Hayes Carll, J. Cole, Reignwolf, Slightly Stoopid, The Wild Feathers and Hoodie Allen, among others. — CG

The Wanted at House of Blues
Bad news, tweens: The first U.S. tour for British boy band and E! reality stars The Wanted will also be its last. Well, for the foreseeable future anyway: Earlier this year, the boys announced they'd be going on indefinite hiatus after their current tour wraps in order to focus on their various side projects. — CG

Combichrist at Trees
The Georgia-based Norwegian aggrotech outfit will bring its heavy-as-shit offerings to Dallas, where local audiences will find themselves perpetually wondering whether to mosh or rave. — CG

Itzhak Perlman at Winspear Opera House
Words can't express the immense talent possessed by violin prodigy Itzhak Perlman. Some of the classical and jazz virtuoso's accolades? He appeared on the same episode of The Ed Sullivan Show as The Rolling Stones, and he was a featured performer on the Schindler's List soundtrack. Of course, these are but the tip of the iceberg as far as the renowned musician's accomplishments go. He'll be performing selections from Beethoven, Franck and Debussy at this concert. — CG

Dallas International Guitar Festival at Fair Park
Closing down this year's guitar show will be a headlining performance from Johnny “I Believe Old Dallas, That's The Meanest Town I Know” Winter. — CG

Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School at Three Links
A good old-fashioned life-drawing session is a necessary staple for artists of all types — and drawing from observation is a classic technique for improving your skills and increasing your technical abilities to perceive form and function. Unfortunately? That sounds totally boring and academic. The idea between these regular Dr. Sketchy's events is to come up with a more relaxed lesson in the art of life-drawing. Hey, it doesn't get much more relaxed than being held in a bar! And, whereas anyone who's ever done an actual, serious life-drawing or figure-drawing session has that, “Oh, you wouldn't believe what the model looked like!” story, Dr. Sketchy's does it right, bringing burlesque performers in to hold court. These models are always in costume, and there is a theme every month. And with today being national Star Wars day — May the Fourth be with you — this month's model, Taffeta Darling, will be donning outfits from the iconic film franchise. — Jeremy Hughes

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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