Yada, Yada, Yada.

We here at Central Track have all done some pretty dumb stuff in our time. That being said, we've never done anything nearly close to the batshit insanity of this clip.

Some context: That guy is texting. While sitting on the hood of a car. That's travelling down a freeway at 56 mph.

And you thought your friends were nuts.

There's probably nothing as pulse-pounding as hood texting on this weekend's bill. But we've found some stuff that might come pretty close. And none of them will endanger your life in the process.

Friday
George Wallace at the Addison Improv
Shout out to the man with one of the best Twitter accounts out there. Give Mr. Wallace a follow, for sure, and, if you can, go check out the Vegas mainstay's standup set at the Improv in Addison. We hear he's even funnier in person.

The Staves at Three Links
British sisters Emily, Jessica and Camilla Staveley-Taylor bring their perfect harmonies and weepy songwriting to Three Links for the group's first headlining gig in Dallas. If you like immaculate vocals and introspection — and honestly, who doesn't? — this show is a must-see hear.

Oak Cliff Film Festival Day 1
The first full day of the Oak Cliff festival is highlighted by a secret screening featuring the work of Dallas-based filmmaker David Lowery. Hmm, wonder what it could possibly be.

Cody Simpson at the Palladium Ballroom
The sixteen-year-old heartthrob from down under is apparently being hailed as “Australia's answer to Justin Bieber.” And thoughmay not have gotten his pet koala confiscated at customs after trying to get it into a foreign country yet, give him time.

The Dan Band at House of Blues
If you're dying to hear songs originally made famous by male singers tonight, then avoid the House of Blues at all costs. Comedian Dan Finnerty's wedding band parody act The Dan Band's cover set tonight is sure to be profanity-laced — and pretty funny, too. But they only do songs originally performed by women. That's kind of their whole bit.

Bad Veins at Dada
Cincinnati indie rock duo Bad Veins have impressed Dallas audiences the past three years while opening for We Were Promised Jetpacks and Frightened Rabbit. Expect them to impress again, this time as headliners.

Bob Schneider at Dan's Silverleaf
Indefatigable Austin singer-songwriter Schneider performs his seemingly monthly North Texas show. This time he'll be at Dan's in Denton.

Deep Friday in Deep Ellum
Seven clubs. Five bucks. One helluva Friday. The First Friday tradition Deep Friday continues in Deep Ellum. Friday.

Nadis Warriors at Trees
“Their eclectic mix of musical layers incorporates Tibetan singing bowls, tablas, live guitar and keys to create an electronic excursion through healing and dance. Focused on moving crowds and melding the collective consciousness, each Nadis Warriors performance is an odyssey built around connectivity, instead of pandering production bent on superficial crowd puppetry.” Sounds like a show best enjoyed stone-cold sober if you ask us.

Spacebeach, Inflatable Best Friend, Bitch Teeth, Deep Throat, and Gay Cum Daddies at Macaroni Island
And the award for the most amount of bands on one bill with names designed to make teenage boys giggle goes to…

Saturday
Jerry Seinfeld at the Winspear Opera House
The comedy legend performs a set about nothing at the Winspear. You should check out his (relatively) new web series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, if you haven't already. It's exactly what it sounds like, and it's awesome.

Ham-Com at the Plano Centre
For the last 35 years, a loyal crowd of Ham radio enthusiasts have made Dallas their gathering place. It's amateur radio at its best!

Ninjapalooza Zombie Lovefest at House of Blues
Cowboys and Aliens didn't necessarily fare too well at the box office, but maybe this whole ninjas vs. zombies concept will go over better with local audiences. Starting at 5 p.m., Graceland Ninjaz and nine other bands will be performing on two stages. Oh, and there will be prizes for the best-dressed zombies and ninjas. Because of course there will be.

Centro-matic at The Foundry
Perpetually-lauded area alt-country act Centro-matic plays a free show with Kingdom of Suicide Lovers at The Foundry. Make sure and get some delicious fried chicken from sister restaurant Chicken Scratch while you're there, too.

Parking Lot Pool Party at Double Wide
The Double Wide throws their first parking lot party of the season. Music from The Rich Girls, Straight Tequila Night, DJ Hammertimez and DJ Woodtronic, and food from the always delish Easy Slider truck, plus a bunch of inflatable pools? Should make for a real front lawn summer paradise. The venue also promises a “Big Wet Surprise.” Heh, gross..

Art Conspiracy Presents MOUNTED at Life in Deep Ellum
This Art Conspiracy “seed money” event promises that “Life in Deep Ellum will be transformed from a gallery space into a lodge-like, electronic animalistic mounted dream sequence that only those crazy Art Conspirators can produce.” Sounds pretty fascinating, if only a little scary. If you're just not that into high-concept themes, there's music from local acts The Days, Bethan and Calhoun, too.

Oak Cliff Film Festival Day 2
Day two of the festival has a decidedly musical theme. Highlights include Ain't in it For My Health a documentary about Levon Helm at the Kessler and a showcase of music videos at El Sibil.

Oak Cliff Film Festival After Party at the Kessler featuring Corn Mo
They Might Be Giants, Polyphonic Spree and Ben Folds collaborator Corn Mo brings the fun at the Oak Cliff Film Festival's official after-party.

Fall Out Boy at Palladium
If an inexplicably popular mediocre pop-punk act reunites and tours the country, does anybody give a shit? Apparently, judging by the crowd that's sure to be at the Palladium tonight, the answer is a resounding yes. Sigh.

Spoonfed Tribe CD Release at Trees
Trees hosts its second attempt at mind expansion of the weekend. This one features the hypnotic wall of sound and wild visuals of Fort Worth's Spoonfed Tribe. In addition to the main event, there'll also be music from Yells at Eels, The Venetian Sailors and The Effinays, as well as aerialists, circus performers, live metalworking and glass blowing.

Bruce in the USA at the Dallas Zoo's Safari Nights
Bruce in the USA covers all of the Boss's hits amongst Zoo's plentiful flora and/or fauna.

Ten Bells Tavern Benefit for Duck Team 6 Street Dog Rescue
Oak Cliff bar Ten Bells Tavern hosts an event on its patio benefiting Duck Team 6's rescue efforts. Organizers promise drink specials for the humans and wading pools and free nail trims for the dogs. Sounds like a win/win/win.

19th Annual Dog Day Afternoon at Flag Pole Hill
Head to Flag Pole Hill near White Rock Lake for even more canine hijinks. The 19th Annual Dog Day Afternoon features free microchipping for the first 40 dogs and– somewhat weirdly– a doggie kissing booth.

Zounds Sounds Jazz Showcase at Opening Bell Coffee
Zounds Sounds school of rock hosts a showcase for its jazz proteges. Who knows, maybe you'll see what the next Monk, Coltrane or Parker looks like before puberty hits.

3rd Anniversary Throwdown at The Common Table
The Common Table's week-long anniversary celebration concludes with three special tappings and sets from Fox and the Bird and Whiskey Folk Ramblers.

Razzle Dazzle Dallas at Main Street Garden Park
One of the city's biggest annual LGBT events, Razzle Dazzle will feature cirque/burlesque-style entertainment, aerialists, DJs, dancing, carnival games, booze, vendors, food trucks, and more.

Snowden at Three Links
Atlanta post-punk quartet Snowden is sure to be at their noisy best for this show supporting the release of their long-awaited sophomore effort No One in Control. They're not as big as fellow early '00s Atlanta breakouts Deerhunter, no. Not yet.

Sunday
Darius Rucker at the Verizon Theatre
Darius “Don't Call Me Hootie” Rucker performs some of his quite popular, but never featured on an episode of Friends, country material in Grand Prairie.

Oak Cliff Film Festival Day 3
Day three highlights include an award ceremony and beer tasting at Four Corners Brewery, and a closing night party with DJ Gabriel and George Quartz.

The Thermals at Dada
Portland indie trio The Thermals returned to the band's scrappy and scratchy roots on their April LP, Desperate Ground. Expect the lo-fi renaissance to continue at this performance at Dada.

Mono No Aware Film Workshop at School Class
This workshop will instruct budding filmmakers in direct filmmaking techniques such as painting, scratching, collage and masking. The goal is that, by the end of the day, students will be able to mimic movement using these manipulations. Space is extremely limited, so sign up soon if this sounds up your alley.

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