Have The Best Summer Ever.

Man, TMZ has been killing it lately. Just yesterday, they wrote the headline of the week. It read: “Jonathan Manziel Finally Hits the Gym — Kidding, He Partied Again).” Hilarity!

In all seriousness, though, partying is kinda fun — so long as you do so at appropriate times and places, and not in Billy Speedball level proportions. It’s the freakin’ weekend, so the time is right. Check. And here’s a list of all the trouble you can get into these next few days. — Cory Graves

Friday
Aubrie Sellers at Double Wide
The daughter of Nashville stars Jason Sellers and Lee Ann Womack, 24-year-old Aubrie Sellers is a badass. Think Kacey Musgraves but grittier and a little more upbeat. She calls her sound garage country, which is apt. She recently slayed it on Colbert and, more recently, at Lola’s. A week later she’s back to slay it again in Dallas. The Hazardous Dukes and Kevin Aldridge open. — CG

Bobby Lee at Hyena’s (Fort Worth)
Bobby Lee is a comedian who, much like Dat Phan, has made a career playing Asian stereotypes. On the bright side, he wasn’t the least funny cast member on MADtv. — Paul Wedding

The Coathangers, Har Mar Superstar at Dada
Crass, bold, fiesty, fearless…the list of words to describe The Coathangers overall bad-assery is endless. The band is immensely charismatic and talented, yet, simultaneously spiny like a porcupine covered in cactus needles. Har Mar Superstar, on the other hand, is a ball of body-hair fluff. Both bands will cause you to convulse in rhythmic motions, and will leave you satisfied. Punchy snot-rockers Audacity from Fullerton, California open the show. — Roberto Aguilar

Texas Showdown Tour at The Bomb Factory
Texas Showdown is a three-day music and tattoo festival. It’s centered around a big tattoo artist competition, but they also have a pretty sweet line-up, including Buckcherry, SIck Puppies, RIch Homie Quan and Wu-Tang Clan member Ghostface KIlla and affiliate Killah Priest. There will be around 200 tattoo artists at the festival tattooing on site, as well as burlesque and carnival sideshows. — PW

Lucy at Inwood Theatre
Stylish, silly and illogical. Lucy is brain-dead on arrival. No wonder the 2014 release is already midnight movie material. Check out my full review here. — Chase Whale

KUZUthon at Harvest House
KUZU is the new project from local Dentonite/musician Peter Salisbury. The idea behind it is to give Denton’s local music scene a voice with its very own radio station and allow the people of Denton to listen to what they want. The only problem is they need some funding for it. So that’s where this event comes in. Come watch some bands and throw some bucks towards helping get this thing off the ground. — PW

Jamie Kennedy at Arlington Improv
2000s-era relic Jamie Kennedy is right where he belongs, in the Walmart of comedy clubs in a DFW suburb going on right after comedy Defensive Driving. — PW

Earth Day Dallas at Fair Park (Free)
Earth Day Texas is the “world’s largest annual forum for sharing the latest initiatives, discoveries, and innovations reshaping our world,” according the Facebook event page. There are a plethora of events that include a solar car challenge, seed-ball making, cow milking, animal petting and, yes, even beer drinking. There will also be keynote speakers and inspirational films on screen. Musical acts include Kinky Friedman, The Tontons, Matthew McNeal, Dallas Family Band and more. Oh yeah, attendance is free! — RA

Tiny House Exhibit at Fair Park
This exhibit is part of this year’s Earth Day festival, showcasing exactly what it says in the title. These houses were made for the purpose of minimalist lifestyles. They’re compact, mobile and adorable. Come check out all the houses there and listen to a discussion panel from some of their owners. — PW

Ana Popovic at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill
The Serbian guitar-thrashing Ana Popovic is quite exciting when she takes the stage. She flies through funk, soul and jazz like a hot katana slicing though butter. Her strong and versatile voice helps carry her band from one jam to another. In 2014, she was the only female guitar player to play with the likes of Buddy Guy, Bootsie Collins and Zakk Wylde in the Experience Hendrix concert. Yeah, she’s pretty badass. — RA

George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic at House of Blues
George Clinton is one of the most prominent innovators of funk music. Starting in the ’70s with bands Parliament and Funkadelic, the collective put out some of the most famous songs of the genre. Nearly 50 years later, they’re still going strong and playing great music. — PW

Penguin Prison at RBC
Penguin Prison is the stage name of Christopher Glover, a New York singer/DJ. He recently released his newest EP, Show Me The Way an energetic collection of electro-pop music with songwriting as good as its production. Wrestlers and The Unlikely Candidates open. — PW

40th Anniversary Weekend at Tanstaafl Pub
Tanstaafl Pub is a bar that’s been around since 1976, and to celebrate 40 years, they’re having a whole weekend of festivities, including live bands, drink specials, and a ’70s costume party Friday night. It’s an old school hole in the wall bar — dimly lit with a smoky atmosphere, and cheap, strong drinks. —PW

The Suffers, Sam Lao at Kessler Theater
Houston’s 10-piece “Gulf Coast soul” outfit, The Suffers, use a mix of horns, woodwinds, keys and guitars to make an engaging brand of music that harkens back to a time before any of its members were born. It’s a genre folks have been pretty obsessed with of late. Dallas’ own Sam Lao opens. — CG

Social Science: Music at The Perot Museum (Sold Out)
Ditch the kids at home for this one. Perot is continuing its adults-only Social Science series, where you can drink signature cocktails and learn about cool things. This week, they’ll be talking about music, specifically how it works, how it’s made and why we enjoy it so much. There will be several performances from bands during the event as well, including the UNT Green Tones, The Gaudium Dance Movement and The Gypsy Bravado performing Led Zeppelin II. — PW

Dollar Night at Lone Star Park
Watching horse races can be fun but, just like most things, it is even more fun when everything is cheap. For the night, all general admission tickets, hot dogs, soft drinks and programs are a dollar each. Unfortunately, beer is $2, but that’s still cheap compared to Dallas bars. — PW

Chris Botti at Meyerson Symphony Center
This guy makes Cinemax porn music. I mean, it’s good. But that’s what it sounds like. — PW

Devin the Dude at Gas Monkey Live
Devin the Dude is a legendary rapper from Houston. He got in on the ground floor of Rap-A-Lot Records in the early ’90s and has had a pretty steady career since. Mainly, he’s cultivated a following of stoners who still wear baggy jeans and large tee shirts. Roll up a bunch of joints and take them to Gas Monkey to see this red-eyed cult hero. — H. Drew Blackburn

Danny Wood at Cambridge Room
Danny Wood is one of the original members of the ’90s sensation/original manufactured boy band, The New Kids on the Block, and he’s right where he belongs in 2016 — playing the B-room of the Dallas House of Blues. — PW

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus at The Prophet Bar
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’s members are like decade-old relics. They’re a pop punk band from the mid-2000s that sound just like that. If you want to relive the edgy days of middle school/early high school, here ya go. — PW

Flash Gordon With Sam Jones Live at Alamo Drafthouse (Richardson)
The cult favorite film, Flash Gordon, is about as outlandish and ridiculous a film can get. Lucky for you, star of the film Sam Jones will be in attendance to answer all your pressing questions about the film. This event works in concordance with the Dallas Dallas Comic Show taking place April 23 and 24 at the Richardson Civic Center. — RA

Denzel Curry at The Loft
Del Curry? Steph Curry? Nope, this is Denzel Curry, a boss rapper from Carol City, Florida. His March release, Imperial, is dramatic and full of samples that sound like horror flick scores. Curry is a real heady person, having been a poet since elementary school, and he knows a thing or two about creating an atmosphere of an album. He says in an interview with the Washington Post, “I don’t want them to think about anything. I want them to be in that world. The beats take you to that world. My lyrics guide you through it.” — RA

Vilma Palma e Vampiros, Foco de Atelier at Trees (Sold Out)
These Latin rockers from Argentina had little trouble selling out this Dallas venue. Foco De Atelier opens. — CG

Dallas SusCon: Public Suspension Day at Red Light
The Dallas SusCon has developed into quite the event. Lucky for the public, they will be showing off their hanging skills at Red Light Lounge. Admission is free to view the spectacle, but don’t even think about joining in. Suspension takes experience and expertise. Nevertheless, if you’re into voyeurism this is the event for you. — RA

Saturday
David Cross at Majestic Theatre
David Cross has been one of the best comedic writers for about 20 years now, starting with his hilarious skit series, Mr. Show with Bob and David, and having great parts in Arrested Development and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. But he’s also one of the sharpest stand-up comedians out there, from his political humor during the Bush administration to mocking every religion out there. He was also in Alvin and the Chipmunks, but let’s not talk about that. — PW

Bobby Lee at Hyena’s (Dallas)
The former MADtv star wraps up his three-day tour of Metroplex Hyena’s locations in Dallas. — CG

Off the Rails Country Festival at Toyota Stadium
So the lineup for this is actually really good. There are a lot of big country music stars at this festival, with Blake Shelton, Chris Young, the Eli Young Band and the Ashley Monroe performing Saturday, and Eric Church and Sam Hunt on Sunday. If you like country music, this a a more stacked line-up than you’re bound to get anywhere else. — PW

Something Wonderful at Texas Motor Speedway
Something Wonderful is back in the DFW area for the second time. This gigantic EDM festival celebrating Spring will feature huge acts like Tiesto, Dada Life, Borgore, Cookie Monsta and Keys N Krates. Thousands will be in attendance donning their furry boots, Day-Glo, fairy wings and Jncos. Wait, do ravers still wear Jncos? — RA

F.A.M Fest 2016 at Shipping and Receiving
F.A.M.fest — or the Food, Art and Music Festival — is a free festival in Fort Worth that, much like the title suggests, brings together local food, art, and music for the community, like a big block party. They managed to get a pretty good lineup with Tony Williams headlining, as well as Jah Born & The Beatitudes, The Orange and several more. There will also be a 100 artist art show and a neon paint after party afterwards. — PW

100 for 100 at Shipping and Receiving
For one night only, the work of 100 artists will be on sale for $100 or less. Shipping and Receiving is throwing this event in support of the the first annual F.A.M. Fest. This is a great opportunity to support local artists, and to give yourself a chance to finally start a collection of fine art to impress all your friends at dinner parties. — RA

The Aquaholics (Album Release) at Three Links
You gotta love a good rock instrumental band. You can sing lyrics in your head if you want, but don’t bother while watching The Aquaholics. The band’s surf rock sound will stuff into your head like jelly in a doughnut, and then boil out like lava from a volcano. Joining in the fray for this album release show is ABACABA from Denton and local heroes PVC Street Gang. — RA

Spyche & Her Mega Rock All Stars at AllGood Cafe
Spyche plays bass in the Cramps cover band The Gorehounds and Americana band Hell Texas. She doesn’t stop at the bass, though. She plays guitar, drums and sings. The Mega Rock All-Stars are a rotating band, which for this show will include John Dufilho, Mike Daane, Aaron Lyons and Richard Martin. The band will play with Denton folk-duo Trotline. — RA

The Stars of ABC’s Nashville In Concert at Verizon Theatre
The perks of a television series that follows musicians is that you can double dip financially, meaning you can tour with the musicians showcasing music from the show. The Partridge Family did it and so did Glee. Well, the stars of ABC’s Nashville are hitting the road and making a stop in Grand Prairie. On slate for the concert are performers Clare Bowen, Chris Carmack, Charles Esten and Aubrey Peeples. — RA

Clean Out the Bar Party at Twenty Seven
hef David Anthony Temple (DAT) announced this past weekend that his restaurant Twenty Seven will be shutting its doors. In a message on social media, Temple informed fans that this past weekend would be the final weekend of service for the Elm Street restaurant, but that he would continue to host and cater private functions. Temple reached an agreement with his landlord and management company that if enough events were booked for the month of May, the space could continue to be used for the month. In the meantime, he is hosting a clean out the bar party. It’s a his-loss-is-your-gain type of situation. — Porttia Portis

Cyanide & Happiness Banana Bar Crawl
The fact that this thing is organized by the minds behind the wildly popular, locally-based web comic Cyanide and Happiness should all but guarantee it’ll be a lot more entertaining than your run-of-the-mill banana outfit-clad bar crawl. This one will start off at BrainDead Brewing before moving onto The Green Room and finally to Twilite. They say the only way to find out the other stops is by catching it from the beginning. But we’re guessing the prospect of finding a few dozen banana suit-wearing booze hounds in Deep Ellum at any given time won’t be all that hard. — CG

Animal vs Machine at The Green Warehouse
So it’s kind of hard to explain what this is. It’s kind of hybrid between mixed martial arts and performance art, like professional wrestling almost. It focuses on two female fighters in a match that unfolds into exploring why we fight. I don’t really know how it’s going to work, but it sounds cool. — PW

Burlesque for the Masses at Viva’s Lounge
If you thought burlesque was strange before, it’s gotten even stranger. This is a Gothic burlesque show –as in a lot of whips, chains, leather, and fetish appeasement. It features such creatively named performers as Miss Malicious, Courtney Crave and Tequila Mockingbird. — PW

Masque of the Red Death at Texas Theatre
The Masque of the Read Death is a classic film adaptation of the Edgar Allen Poe story of the same name. It stars horror movie icon/creepy old guy Vincent Price as a rich aristocrat who holds a soiree in his castle to keep away from the plague. That is until the plague comes in with a masked figure, slowly killing off each of the attendees. If that isn’t creepy enough for you, there will also be a performance by the Dallas Neo-Classical Ballet beforehand performing excerpts from their adaptation of the Poe story. — PW

Dallas Comic Show at Richardson Civic Center
This isn’t the Dallas Comic Con, and it’s not really trying to be. It’s an affordably priced comic show run by fans for fans. And it’s not like most comic book conventions nowadays, where it’s so much more focused on movies and TV. There’s a shitload of comic artists and writers such as Bernie Wrightson, Tony Harris and Brandon Peterson. There’s also going to be some stars from famous nerdy movies, including Sam Jones, a.k.a., Flash fucking Gordon. — PW

“Body Poems in Suspended Space” — Liz Trosper MFA Exhibition at CentralTrak
Having grown up in Frisco, Liz Trosper academically represents the Metroplex through and through. She earned a degree in government from TWU, a degree in public administration from UNT and is now collecting a master’s degree in art and technology from UT Dallas. For her MFA exhibit she is taking over CentralTrak with a series of multi-media works. Trosper says in the Facebook event page, “I want to make one simple thing — painting that wipes away all there ever was of painting and re-makes it anew.” — RA

World Book Day at The Wild Detectives
Not only is April 23 World Book Day, it is also the 400th death-iversary of William Shakespeare and Miguel de Cervantes. In proper Catalan fashion, The Wild Detectives book store will be giving a rose with each book purchase. Now wouldn’t that be nice. “A rose for love and a book forever.” — RA

Kwestival at Klyde Warren Park
Kwestival is a community music festival held by social media company Kwest and local hospitality service company, Three Twelve Co. The theme of the festival is “around the city”, with local businesses representing their respected Dallas neighborhoods in the form of some weird model U.N.-type cosplay, with a mayor and city council members. Anyway, there’s a lot of cool local restaurants and shops around town, and they’re all gonna be here. As well as live music from bands like Diamond Kings and Sun Over Sea. — PW

Shakespeare Dallas Pub Crawl at Idle Rich Pub
Today’s William Shakespeare’s 452nd birthday, and there’s definitely no other way the Bard would want us celebrating his birthday than by a day of heavy drinking. There will be happy hour drinks, Shakespeare trivia, birthday cupcakes and grab bags. So come out and pour one out for Bill. — PW

Power Trip at RBC
Five bands from Dallas, Denton, Austin and Houston will be tearing this show apart. Starting with Dallas’ Power Trip, the band is caustically thrash-core and makes no bones about it. Breakout from Austin is a bit more classic punk with high energy vocals and punchy guitar riffs. Dress Code from Houston plays so damn fast you better be wearing track shoes. Scourge, also from Houston, is a throwback to hardcore from Bayou City back in the ’90s. Finally, Creeping Death from Denton is probably the most brooding out of the bunch. — RA

John Congleton & the Nighty Nite at Double Wide
Until very recently, it had been a while since John Congleton and his Nighty Nite project played in town. In fact, after making something of a triumphant debut at the Double Wide in the summer of 2011, we heard next to nothing from the old Paper Chase frontman on the performance front — so little, in fact, that after a few years of waiting, we pretty much assumed that the debut full-length that Congleton was said to be working was never going to happen. Turns out, we weren’t completely wrong. In a lot of ways, that release will never come. Following its initial burst, the Nighty Nite was put on hold for a while. Congleton spent that time producing Grammy-winning records for artists like St. Vincent, Swans, Explosions in the Sky and The Walkmen just to name a few, and his bandmates were busy making records and touring with their own main projects, among them Wires Under Tension, Shearwater and Hospital Ships. In 2014, Congleton realized that being in a band with busy musicians spread out all across the United States was more complicated than it needed to be. And so he began writing the new batch of tunes that would eventually make up the band’s long-awaited debut album. This time around, he decided, he’d press on regardless of who could come down to record at any given time, or who (if anyone) would ever be around to play this stuff live. Now, five years after first being teased with the idea of new music from the revered frontman of The Paper Chase, his Nighty Nite outfit released its debut LP earlier this month, and is right back where it started, playing a show at the Double Wide. For more info on this one, check out our interview with Congleton here. — CG

Bunny Wailer at Gas Monkey Live
Bunny Wailer is one of the most well-known reggae artists of all time. He’s one of the original members of The Wailers alongside Bob Marley and Peter Tosh, and has been performing for more than 50 years. Blue 22’s, Bum Lucky and Bogus Green will open the event that is being advertised as Spring Sunsplash, which is funny considering it’s been pouring rain for the past week. — PW

Laura Stevenson at Dada
Former keyboardist for the late Bomb The Music Industry!, Laura Stevenson is keeping up the punk attitude with her self-depreciating, exposing lyrics. The instrument work is fairly tame, but Stevenson is a strong, relatable songwriter worth listening to. Crying opens. — PW

Magcon at South Side Ballroom
Magcon is not a band. It is not a performance. M.A.G stands for meet-and-greet and CON is short for convention. According to Google, at Magcon “your kids can meet their favorite social media stars. Every show features a variety of entertainers: musicians, comedians, actors and filmmakers, or just infectious personalities.” Sound fun? Thought so. — RA

Umphrey’s McGee at House of Blues
Umphrey’s McGee is a jam band from South Bend, Indiana. The band is currently made up of six members who play modern progressive rock. They are known for covering songs like “Shine on You Crazy Diamond,” “Ignition (Remix),” and the Peanuts theme song. Opening band TAUK from New York state are a self-proclaimed “heavy instrumental rock-fusion onslaught.” Sounds like a night of extended jams and mood alterations. — RA

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles With Judith Haag, Ernie Reyes Jr., Kenn Scott Live at Alamo Drafthouse (Richardson)
The original Ninja Turtles movie isn’t technically good, nor does it hold up at all due to the awful suits worn to portray the ninja turtles, but it is still great, campy fun, especially with beer and friends. There will also be a Q&A with Judith Hoag, Ernie Reyes Jr. and Kenn Scott, who played April O’Neil, Donatello and Raphael, respectively. — PW

Dallas Mavericks vs Oklahoma City Thunder at American Airlines Center
They’re still alive, but for how much longer? MFFL? — CG

The Roast of J.K. Rowling at Dallas Comedy House
Wouldn’t it be great if book characters could lash out at their author? Well, Dallas Comedy House is making such a fantasy reality. In the Roast of J.K. Rowling, DCH comedians will play various Harry Potter characters and roast a fake J.K. Rowling. Who knows what will happen, but either way it’s going to be hilarious. — RA

Sunday
Off the Rails Country Music Festival at Toyota Stadium
Eric Church and Sam Hunt are your big headliners on day two of this big ass country fest on the ol’ soccer field. — CG

Thao & the Get Down Stay Down at Trees
Thao & The Get Down Stay Down is a folk/alt rock band with some teeth behind it. It’s heavily bass driven, like you can feel the fuzz on the record when it plays. Combine that with the killer production and Thao Nguyen’s unique style of singing and songwriting and it makes a pretty great listening experience. — PW

Cowtown Conjunto Festival at Billy Bob’s
Mexican conjunto, meaning group in Spanish, is music born from the introduction of the push button accordion to musicians living in Texas. It has been around since the late 19th century and is still going strong today. The Cowtown Conjunto Festival will include performances from six groups including Albert Zamora, Grupo Pression and Front Porch Conjunto. ¬°Baile! — RA

NTX Cycling Summit at University of Dallas
Most everyone loves riding bikes, and most everyone likes fairness and safety. That’s why this cycling summit is so important to cyclists all over North Texas. The meeting will include discussion about the strengths of the cycling community and how to capitalize on them, energizing leadership in the community and finalize plans for increasing cycling in the DFW area. And, yes, there will be a social ride after the summit. — RA

Slowpoke Cruiser Ride at River Legacy Park
Because gears are overrated, this bunch of slow-moving cruiser bikes will take the 10 miles of paved trails at RLP at a very leisurely pace. Hey, it’s not a race!– CG

Dmitri Shostakovich’s “Babi Yar” – Symphony No. 13 in B flat minor, Op. 113 at Winspear Opera House
What better way to spend your lovely Sunday afternoon than listening to an opera about a series of brutal massacres and Nazi occupation in Eastern Europe? — PW

Forgotten Space at Dada
There’s few bands out there with such a rabid fanbase and vast discography as Grateful Dead. They’re not around anymore, but that hasn’t stopped shit loads of tribute bands from spawning in their wake, including Forgotten Space, one of the better Texas-based Grateful Dead tribute bands. They’ll be playing some of Grateful Dead’s best music on the patio of Dada, it should be p chill. — PW

All Lil Wayne Everything at Dada
If you don’t know by now, you should. All/Everything parties are one of the best weekly parties in Dallas. This week, Lil Wayne will be the artist du jour. That means his videos, his music and his art will be plastered all over Club Dada. TheJohnStewart, Blue, The Misfit and Endolena will be spinning Weezy’s jams all night long. — RA

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