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Earlier this week, a woman in New York was arrested after driving erratically in circles in a Walmart parking lot. When pulled over, the woman said she was lost and couldn't find her way home. Also, she claims it's just because the big box chain's parking lots are, like, just so big — and, y'know, how could anyone possibly be expected to find their way out?

Cops, on the other hand, say the fact that she was chugging pure vanilla extract was the culprit. Apparently, that stuff has the same alcohol content as vodka — or so we hear — and that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “getting baked,” no?

Just know that, if you're going to chug vanilla extract in a Walmart parking lot, then you should definitely call an Uber to take you home. And, y'know, just in general, be safe out there this weekend, you guys. Also: Be wary of anyone who smells like they've consumed more than a gallon of ice cream. — Cory Graves

The Marvel Experience at The Cotton Bowl
Part ride, part multiplayer videogame, part augmented reality, the Marvel Experience is, well, just that: an experience. Set in a series of seven huge domes in Fair Park, you won't just be watching your favorite comic book characters come to life, you'll be asked to fight, literally right alongside them. The attraction will be in town through February 1. — CG

Free Girl Scout Cookies at DART Union Station
Much to both our delight and downfall, it's almost Girl Scout Cookies season again. Local troupes won't start hawking the goods until Friday, January 30, but you can whet your appetite early this morning. From 6 to 8 a.m. you can nab free samples of Samoas or Rah-Rah Rasisins (but sadly no Thin Mints) at DART Union Station (400 S. Houston St.). — CG

Fort Worth Stock Show & Rodeo at Will Rogers Memorial Center
Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo that started up in 1896. It's since become the world's oldest continual running rodeo. That event's Cowtown Coliseum (called The Northside Coliseum when it was built in 1908) was also the world's first indoor rodeo. It kicks off, once again, this weekend, and runs through February 7. — CG

Los Straitjackets at Trees
Tennessee's Luchador mask-wearing Los Straitjackets returns to the Lone Star state for its 2015 tour. Though it's been over a year since the band's released any new material, 2013's Mondo Zombie Boogaloo is still a wonder of Mexican-inspired instrumental rock. — Lauren Rushing

Shadows of Jets at Dada
For the uninitiated, Shadows of Jets is divorce pop project headed up by former Maren Morris sideman Taylor Tatsch, and is filled out Morris' old bassist Graham Smith, Orbans guitarist Kenny Hollingsworth and Burning Hotels drummer Mike Ratliff. Dallas' Venetian Sailors and Fort Worth's Jetta in the Ghost Tree open. — CG

Brett Elderdge at Billy Bob's
Dubbed by the Washington Post as one of the “new bros” in the sorry ass “bro country” scene, Eldredge should only tangentially be associated with that crew. Almost as big as song about the country chick cutting up her jeans just right, is his gut-wrenching tale of about the old woman in the nursing home with Alzheimer's that confuses one of the employees with her son that died in the war. You take the good with the bad, I suppose. — CG

Back to the Future at Inwood Theatre
The first Back to the Future is far and away the best of the trilogy. Of course it's a lot easier to depict events from the past, where we know exactly how things went down, than it is to predict the future. That's why Robert Zemeckis was able to nail the origin of “Johnny B. Goode” in this one, while failing to see we'd all be too focused on our smart phones in 2015 to bother inventing hoverboards or self-tying shoes. — CG

Dirty River Boys at Granada Theater
Twangy El Paso folk outfit Dirty River Boys and Austin's Mike & the Moonpies are both oft-described as “outlaw” acts, which is a real stretch. While The Moonpies, in particular, are a pretty fun, semi-traditional country act, they're far less dangerous than probably even they'd like. Local danger folk band, Parallel Play opens, which is to say you should definitely show up early if you've never heard Weezer covered by a guy holding a banjo. — CG

Paris is Burning at Texas Theatre
Now entering its second year, CineWilde has quick become one of the go-to organizations for queer cinema. Once again they'll kick off the year with a screening of the long-heralded 1990 documentary on old New York's ball scene of the '80s, with an accompanying audience participation catwalk. Also? DJs Alli and Shooknite will spin '90s ballroom classics in the lobby, where electro-duo Ethereal & the Queer Show and Dezi 5 will also perform. Get your vogue on. — CG

James McMurtry at Dan's Silverleaf
Texas singer-songwriter, James McMurtry, is back in his home state touring for the next three months, gearing up for the release of his next album, which the folk rocker has said will come out next month. The fierce songwriter who rides solo on most occasions, will be joined with his live band at Dan's Silverleaf in Denton on Friday. Known for the incredible guitar skills and well crafted lyrics he produces, there's no way a folk fan should miss this show. — LR

Bummer Vacation, Wildhoney, Expert Alterations, Narrowhead at Crown and Harp (Upstairs)
Fort Worth-based Bummer Vacations is one of those new bands from 2014 that just seems to get better and better each time we see them. Leading up to the band's cacophonous brand of post punk on this bill is a trio of shoegaze bands. Dallas' Narrow Head leans on the heavier end of that spectrum, while the two acts in the middle, Baltimore's Wildhoney and Expert Alterations are a bit more poppy. — CG

Deep Inside at Crown and Harp (Downstairs)
For the one-year anniversary of their third Friday monthly, the Deep Inside crew is bringing in legendary Chicago house DJ Paul “Get Get Down” Johnson to hold things down. Head's up, this one's going on downstairs, which we imagine means it should sell out pretty early on. — CG

In The Whale at Lola's
Is it lazy journalism to compare every blues-based, drum-and-guitar rock duo to the White Stripes and/or The Black Keys? Or is just next to impossible to add anything new to that musical conversation that those two acts haven't already? No, really, we're asking. I mean, Colorado two-piece In The Whale is playing at Lola's this weekend and we're not quite sure what else to say about them. — CG

Wildstylez at Lizard Lounge
This DJ, born Joram Metekohy, has not just wild style, as his name implies, but specifically hardstyle, the ever-chugging-along brand of EDM that rose to prominence in Wildstylez's native Netherlands around the turn of the milllenium. Ever dropped ecstacy and then wanted to slamdance? Tonight could be your chance! — Pete Freedman

ReMix: Appalachian Spring at Dallas City Performance Hall
It's a shame more young people don't hit up the symphony more regularly, as Dallas truly is home to some world class musicians. Granted, the three-plus hour commitments and fancy dress requirements don't always scream, “young people welcome.” Think of the DSO's ReMix series as a young folks' intro to the brilliance of the symphony. This weekend's one-hour program will feature Copeland's Appalachian Spring in the less stuffy confines of the nearby Dallas City Performance Hall, and be followed up with free drinks and a mingle sesh with the players. — CG

Have a Heart at Trees
In nearly a year-and-a-half booking shows under his King Camel Productions brand, Jeffrey Brown has never thrown an event on the scale of Have a Heart benefit that he's throwing at Trees next weekend. Quite easily, the Beach Fossils-headlined, 13-band fundraiser is the biggest show he's ever had a hand in. It's not that he hasn't wanted to head up a larger scale event; he's just never had quite had the right catalyst to set a plan in motion. Recently, though, an old friend, John Bullard, has run into some financial setbacks due to his battle with cerebral palsy, which you can read more about here. In short: Coming to his pal's need was all the impetus Brown needed to start hitting up national acts like the aforementioned Beach Fossils, plus The Appleseed Cast, Indian Jewelry and top-notch locals like Telegraph Canyon, Madison King, Leon Bridges, Son of Stan, Matthew & The Arrogant Sea, Ronnie Heart, Moon Waves, The Blondettes, The Outfit, TX and Dead Mockingbirds to play this first-ever Have a Heart show. For more information on this event, read our interview with Brown here, and our interview with Beach Fossils' Dustin Payseur here. — CG

Artopia at Three Three Three First Avenue
The Dallas Observer's annual art party is a veritable sensory overload of local food, drink, art, music and fashion. Or as a much wiser man once said: “It's a celebration, bitches!” — CG

Billy Joe Shaver at the Kessler Theater
The self-professed “wacko from Waco” never became the big name that his peers like Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson or Kris Kristofferson did, but the songs he penned for them and others became some of the biggest standards in '70s country music. The largely Shaver written album Honky Tonk Heroes helped carve out the outlaw image Waylon Jennings will forever be known for. — CG

Pinkish Black, The Black Dotz, Unconscious Collective at Lola's
It's like Joseph Heller once wrote, “Just because Pinkish Black, The Black Dotz and Unconscious Collective are on the same bill, doesn't mean you're at the Crown and Harp.” Or something like that. We admittedly only read the Cliff's Notes version. — CG

Old Potion (Album Release) at Rubber Gloves
The indie-folk scenesters in Denton are all talking about Old Potion. Perhaps you will be, too, after the new-ish local outfit releases its debut EP at this show. Magnetism includes five singles from the very talented group of Mountain Goats-mining up-and-comers. Austin's Marmalakes and Fort Worth's Gollay open. — LR

The 16th Annual KNON Blues Festival at Texas Theatre
Oh, hey! Another festival! (This one's been around for a while, though.) — Trace McCaslin

Alsace Carcione (Album Release) at Dada
As we've preached before, Alsace Carcione's “Juke Join” was hands down the most slept-on song of 2014. Period. This evening, the Dallas-based singer/emcee celebrates the release of her third album, Cryptic Conundrum. If the album has anything close to as flawless as “Juke Joint” on it, we're in for a real treat. Hopefully, this time, we'll all take notice right away, though. — CG

There Will Be Blood at Alamo Drafthouse
With the current praise being heaped on Paul Thomas Anderson's Inherent Vice, the folks at the always quick-witted Alamo Drafthouse have decided to screen the director's award-winning 2007 American drama, There Will Be Blood, this weekend. Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Dano star in this film, which finds silver miner Daniel Plainview on a quest in search of wealth during Southern California's oil boom of the late 19th century. Just remember to be on guard if you opt to order a milkshake from the concession stand. — LR

Who's Bad: The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute at House of Blues
For the last ten years, Who's Bad has been winning over Michael Jackson fans' hearts all over the nation. The eight member band continues to show the world Michael's talent and the dedication he had towards his music. And until that MJ hologram learns more than one dance routine, this outfit's probably the closest approximation you'll get to the real thing these days. — LR

American Aquarium at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
Next month the North Carolina-bred country rockers will release their sophomore long-player, Wolves. After burning through over 20 different bandmates, the album is one that finds the band's hard-partying, road warrior frontman B.J. Barham finally locking down a more solidified lineup. At least you won't be drinking alone tonight. Locals Patriot and Troy Cartwright open. — CG

Eric Johnson & Mike Stern at Granada Theater
Blues wizard Eric Johnson and jazz master Mike Stern recently melded their unique blends of styles into a record called Eclectic, which they'll perform tonight at the Granada. Joining the noted noodlers at this one is Johnson's longtime bassist Chris Maresh and Tonight Show drummer Anton Fig. — CG

Opus 100 at Meyerson Symphony Center
The monumental C.B. Fisk Opus pipe organ, which serves the Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center, includes 4,535 pipes, and has been called “one of the most important organs to have been built in this or any century” by the American Guild of Organists. Tonight the edgy young classical musician Cameron Carpenter will take that sucker for a spin, rolling through a number of Bach pieces before ending the night with a full-on improv session. — CG

Anjelah Johnson at The Music Hall at Fair Park
Around these parts, she may be best known as the “Taco Cabana Girl” from the chain restaurant's many cable TV spots, but the former MadTV player's more notable for her accomplished stand-up career, wherein she frequently and creatively riffs on her family's Mexican heritage beyond the expected, tired tropes. — PF

Farewell Show The Where House
For five years now it seems like it's been pretty much anything goes at this popular, semi-DIY Fort Worth venue. Sadly, the party comes to an end after this weekend's last big blowout. We'll have more to say about how special the place is/was later today, but until then, just know Fort Worth heavy-hitters Burning Hotels, Telegraph Canyon, Dark Rooms and Patriot will each perform at this one. — CG

Master Pancake:Con Air at Alamo Drafthouse
Have you ever tried to read this hilariously detailed summary of the 1997 classic, Con Air? This epic saga between Nic Cage's awkwardly long hair and a stuffed bunny is outrageous, sure, but it's also a must-see for fans of ridiculous movies. As luck would have it, Austin's MST3K-biting crew known as Master Pancake will be in attendance at this screening dropping some heckling-gold. — Chris Escarfullery

Travis Tritt at Eisemann Center
In his “Here's a Quarter” days there weren't many names in country music as big as Tritt's. In recent years, though, he's turned to primarily touring solo acoustic and covering songs by bands like Nickelback. I wish that was a joke. — CG

Periphery at House of Blues
The prog metal outfit's third album, which will be released on the 27th of this month, is actually two albums. The pair of releases, titled Juggernaut: Alpha and Juggernaut: Omega, says the band is intended to tell one, very long, cohesive story. Can you say prog-rock opera? Nothing More, Wovenwar and Thank You Scientist open. — CG

Chit Chat: Loris Greaud at Dallas Contemporary
France's Loris Greaud has become one of the most respected in all of Europe thanks to his emmersive, large scale works, which he often consults with engineers, architects, musicians, historians, and scientists to pull off. His latest exhibition, “The Unplayed Notes Museum” takes over the Dallas Contemporary from January 18 to March 21. On this opening Greaud will sit down with UTD's associate director of graduate studies, Frank Dufour, to discuss his work. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.


















































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