Break The Silence.

In order for Santa to hit every house in the world in a 24-hour period,he has to visit 1,178 homes per second — or over 175 million miles throughout the course of the night. It must be nice to possess that kind of magic, because, for one thing, you'd be able to hit up every cool event in town tonight no problem.

You're not Santa, though. So you're going to have to make some tough decisions. To that end, we've laid out some of the weekend's best options to help with that process.

But just because you're not Santa,that doesn't mean you can't still gallivant around in a jolly red suit this weekend. Heck, at some of these, it's a requirement. — Cory Graves

Ryan Adams at McFarlin at McFarlin Auditorium
Adams' self-titled current release has earned a spot on many publications' 2014 year-end lists, be it because it is, perhaps, his most balanced effort to date, or the fact that the once prolific rocker that put out three LPs in one year hadn't released anything new since 2011. The show should be pretty great, though, depending on what kind of mood the well-documented a-hole is in tonight. — CG

Warbeast at Double Wide
Dallas' hard-rocking elder statesmen head up a heavy ass bill that also includes Chemicaust, Rabid Flesh Eaters, Dead Earth Politics and Judas Goat. It should be just cold enough out to wear your leather, too, not that it's ever stopped you before. — CG

Lone Star Classic Dog Show at Dallas Market Hall
Each day of the Lone Star Classic is actually a different dog show put on by a different regional kennel club. So, technically, a dog could win Best In Show three times in a row at this thing. If it was a really good dog, I mean. The judging portion of this affair aside, wandering around and checking out the dogs waiting to be showed is always a good time. So, too, is talking to owners grooming their dogs. These things are always good for a pretty fun afternoon full of awesome, cute animals. And, really, you can't beat that. — Jeremy Hughes

Donnie Darko Director's Cut at Inwood Theatre
The director's cut of the Jake Gyllenhaal-led cult classic includes 20 minutes of bonus footage and a different soundtrack than the original release. That extra footage, though, says critics, makes the film's confusing concepts exponentially easier to grasp, too. — CG

LOOT Vintage Market at Texas Motor Speedway
A three-day pop-up market so big it had to be held at TMS. — CG

Walker Lukens and The Side Arms at Three Links
He may not be at the top of this bill, but the road-tested, NPR-approved stylings of soulful Austin transplant of Walker Luken and his fiery backing band might be the ones to watch this evening. So don't dilly dally making your way over to this one. — CG

The Burning Hotels, Jessie Frye, The Birds of Night at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill (Free)
Mark Schectman, of 102.1-FM The Edge fame, hasn't gotten nearly enough love for the weekly all-local bills he puts together at Gas Monkey. Not only are they always lovingly-crafted, but free, to boot. Tonight's edition, which features 817 acts, The Burning Hotels, Jessie Frye and The Burning Hotels is not only the last one of the year, but Frye will shoot a music video during her set as well. — CG

Ringo Deathstarr at Dada
There are plenty of folks who'd argue that if Austin's Ringo Deathstarr would be every bit as huge as My Bloody Valentine if they'd only come out around 1991. No worries, they're here now, which is what counts. Besides that assessment is a tad unfair, anyway, because these guys are more than just ripoff artists aping a tired old sound. The Continuums, Glasir and Martin Savage Gang open. — CG

Mustache Envy Presents: Freaky Friday at Sue Ellen's
The club's regular crop of drag kings and queens won't just be dressing as the opposite gender at this one, but as one of their fellow performers, too. It should add an extra level of excitement for the regulars, anyway. — CG

Shag Times at Beauty Bar (Free)
The Portugal-raised, now Munich-based DJ, Moullinex, will make a stop at tonight's special edition of Beauty Bar's Shag Times dance party. Resident DJ Red Eye will be on hand as well, and the thing's free. — CG

Le Cure at Lee Harvey's (Free)
Dallas' best Cure tribute act promises to play every Cure song you know at this one, or your money back. More likely than not, though, this Friday you'll be in love with these guys. — CG

Grandtheft at Lizard Lounge
The official DJ of the 2010 Winter Olympics will serve as one of the official DJs for this year's Lights All Night pre-parties. — CG

Hot Coffins (Album Release) at Macaroni Island (Free)
Earlier this week, Hot Coffins released its new I H8 BLACK MAGIC LP, which the band is calling a companion piece to last year's Nightmares (To Feed and Have Own You). The band will play a release show for the album this evening, at Macaroni Island, along with Danny Diamonds, who, interestingly enough, plays lead guitar throughout the album. Wonder Boom opens. — CG

Karaoke Motel at The Ice House
When anyone consciously heads to a particular bar on karaoke night with a group of friends, they generally do so with the understanding that, a few drinks in, they'll be goaded by their pals into performing. Same goes for this bit of experimental immersive theater, really. Sure, most of what you'll see is straight from a Thomas Riccio-penned script. But there's also a good chance you'll end up a participant in the thing at some point, too. The play runs thrice nightly Thursdays through Saturdays until December 13. — CG

Legends Never Die at Kessler Theater
I believe it was the fake Babe Ruth that first said, “Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.” He was talking about baseball greats like himself and Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez, of course, but I suppose the same bit of wisdom also applies to the world of dance. Aggressive rhythm tappers, Rhythmic Souls, will pay homage to Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Sammy Davis Jr. and Gregory Hines at this cinematic-themed tap dance event. — CG

The Babadook at Texas Theatre
Last week, I made a comment about a horror movie opening after Halloween being odd. But now comes The Babadook, strolling into theaters in December, making me rethink my position. Why? Because this is one of the most talked-about films of the year — and it really is one hell of a movie. But I'm not in the believe the hype camp. Sure, this is a really noble attempt at horror — especially for someone's first film — but I can't help but think that writer and director Jennifer Kent took all of her favorite movies as a kid and just smashed them into one. This could actually be a great thing — but, for me, it was a slight disappointment. I still think it's a solid film, though. And if you dig horror films, you should see it. It's playing all weekend at Texas Theatre. — Chase Whale

Murder of a Cat at Texas Theatre
Murder of a Cat is a movie I want see — and for two great reasons: 1) It stars the inimitable J.K. Simmons (Whiplash), and 2) it's about a murdered cat and the humans who are trying to figure out the who and the why. It could be really funny or the opposite of really funny, and I can't tell you which at this moment. But I am hopeful. — CW

Burroughs The Movie at Texas Theatre
If scary movies, pelicans or murdered cats really ain't doing it for you, how about seeing an old documentary about the Godfather of the Beat Generation, author William S. Burroughs? Chances are you were born after this was made and have never seen it. So a showing on the big screen would be a good first time. — CW

Dallas Krampus Walk at Wit's End
Santa Claus is coming to town. Unfortunately, for all you bad little boys and girls, that also means Krampus is on his way, too. A whole bunch of them, in fact. They'll meet up this evening at Wit's End, and will proceed to descend upon Deep Ellum until they've met their naughty children quota. Or something like that. Anyway, feel free to suit up and join in. — CG

Hannibal Buress at South Side Ballroom
It's widely accepted that Buress' October 16 standup set in Bill Cosby's hometown of Philadelphia is what set off the veritable shit storm Cosby's faced in recent weeks — even if comedians have been making similar jokes for a decade now. In any case, they public has finally started to pay attention, and Buress has, rather tactfully, declined to do any interviews or otherwise try to cash in on the extra attention for his own gain. Thus far he's been content to mic drop and walk away without looking back, because he's a class act. He's a funny motherfucker, too, and this will likely be one of the most relevant comedy sets you'll see all year. — CG

Blackalicious at Granada Theater
Hyperconscious Bay Area throwback hip-hop duo Blackalicious is set to release its first album in ten years come next spring. That's good, because even the most dazzling tongue twisters and complex lyrical wizardry lose some of their quote-unquote wow factor once you've heard them so many times. So, hopefully they'll perform some new stuff tonight. — CG

Rusko at Lizard Lounge
In the last seven years, British DJ Rusko has not only been on the forefront of pushing dubstep into the mainstream, but he's pretty much been the only person who has been able to pull off the near impossible feat of finding a way to keep the much-maligned genre continuously sounding fresh. That said it is always equal parts amusing and unexpected when the DJ speaks ill of the genre he helped create or any of the numerous artists that cite him as an influence. — CG

Celebrate the Holidays in the Arts District (Free)
At 5:45 Klyde Warren's gargantuan Christmas tree — the largest outdoor tree in the entire city, we're told — will be lit for the first time. We're guessing Relient energy must be the park's official energy provider, too, because following the lighting ceremony, the electric company will foot the bill for a free Los Lobos and Jack Ingram concert at nearby AT&T Performing Arts Center. A fireworks show follows. — CG

Ricki Derek Presents: A Merry Little Christmas Show at Lakewood Theater
Rat Pack-style crooner Ricki Derek and his orchestra returns to Lakewood Theater tonight, for what will likely be the last time his annual holiday affair goes down at the historic spot. — CG

Grand Opening Tour at FireWheel Brewing
After two and a half years of slinging beer throughout North Texas, the owners of FireWheel Brewing will open a new brewery in Rowlett — one where they'll be making root beer in addition to the alcoholic stuff. “It was a bet between me and my now assistant brewer, Nate Brietzman — a friendly competition to see who could make a better non-alcoholic root beer,” says FireWheel founder Brad Perkinson. “I won the initial bet. But we are both winners, I guess, because the sodas we make now are fantastic.” Various flavors of root beer such as chocolate coconut and maple are just a small part of FireWheel's new digs. The facility will also feature a 15-BBL brewhouse and a full taproom bar, which finds the brewery expanding to 24 taps instead of its current six. Brews available include an imperial black ale called Midnight Ninja, and a strawberry IPA coined as the StrIPA. Unfortunately, growlers won't be available at the site, but Perkinson says the company has plans in the works to can its brews by the middle of next year. In the meantime, you'll be able to enjoy the release of several new beers, as well as live music and food trucks during the grand opening on Saturday, from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. — Porttia Portis

Dallas Observer Music Awards Showcase in Deep Ellum
This weekend marks the Dallas Observer's annual Music Awards Showcase, which is a big deal if only due to the fact that damn near every band playing in Deep Ellum this Saturday is doing so as part of the publication's festivities. And, yup, it's a big sucker this year, too, involving nine venues and some 60-plus bands. One ticket will get you access to the whole shebang. — CG

Creepers, Shmu, Things of Earth at City Tavern (Free)
Creepers is some guys from San Francisco black metal outfit Deafheaven. Really, though, these dudes make a brand of layered psych rock that sounds about as far off from that project as it gets. Likewise, Shmu is one half of Zorch, and his solo project, too, dips a toe into the psych world — albeit from a more glitchy place. Things of Earth opens. — CG

Two-Year Anniversary Party at LeVu (Free)
Las Vegas DJ Helena will drop by LeVu this evening to celebrate the joint's two-year anniversary. This thing's free-to-attend, but you'll need to call ahead if you want to reserve a table. — CG

Bubba Sparxxx at Rail Club
After a decade of laying low and battling a severe opiate addiction, the country rap superstar and “Ms. New Booty” emcee has cleaned up his act and is ready climb his way back to the top. Thanks to his newfound healthy lifestyle, he looks a lot younger than he did when he first broke out, too. — CG

Pop Punk Pizza Party at Sons of Hermann Hall
One of the few shows going on in Deep Ellum on Saturday that's not affiliated with the DOMAs, this one will feature performances from non-local pop punk bands Stanley & the Search, Knockout Kid, On Better Terms, Do Something Krazy, True Story, One Soul, A Life in Arm's Reach and Not Equal. Any way you slice it, that's a lot of bands on one bill. — CG

Tommy Hale and The Magnificent Bastards at Twilite Lounge (Free)
You can't always get what you want, unless, that is, what you want is to catch these local bluesmen rattle off the tracks from Rolling Stones' Let it Bleed in order. Because that's exactly what you'll get at this one. — CG

Santa Rampage
What the fuck is a Santa Rampage and how do I avoid this at all costs? Just kidding. It's actually a bar crawl where you're encouraged to dress in a Santa suit, because that is in no way creepy. Nope. Not creepy at all. — Chelsea Upton

Santa Shindig at Double Wide
As long as you're already Santa suited up this evening, you might as well get some additional mileage from the thing. Leave it on post-Santa Rampage and head over to the Double Wide for a new, hot version of the YooHoo YeeHaw and performances from '90s cover band The Clinton Years, roots rocker Kirby Brown & the Texas Gentlemen and Downtown Doug. Proceeds will benefit Austin Street Center for the Homeless. — CG

Joeski at It'll Do Club
Raised in Queens, Joeski's been DJing underground clubs like the Limelight since the Club Kids days. Tonight he'll find himself in East Dallas, spinning records alongside It'll Do resident DJ Red Eye. — CG

Aaron Carter at Cambridge Room
Two of Carter's biggest hits as an adolescent pop star, 2000's “Aaron's Party (Come and Get It)” and “That's How I Beat Shaq,” were near carbon copies of Will Smith's 1989 tunes “Parents Just Don't Understand” and “I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson,” respectively. Unfortunately he never managed to parlay his early success into the kind of career Smith's eked out for himself. — CG

Mr. and Ms. Oh So Gothic Beauty Pageant at The Church
Unlike in high school, going full on goth won't relegate you to that lonely lunch table shoved in the corner of the cafeteria, safely away from the normos. Rather, diving head on into the Hot Topic portion of your closet before heading out to this one might just lead to your being crowned The Church's equivalent of prom queen. Or something like that. Celebrity judges at this one include Angela Ryan, Mark Kaplan, Kurtz Frausun, Tracy Batty Robertson and Ava Von Bunnies. — CG

“Food For The Soul” (Opening Reception) at Downtown Dallas Public Library's Bradshaw Gallery (4th Floor)
Buy a man a fish and he eats for a day; buy a man's painting and he buys enough art supplies to keep on creating. That's the thought behind The Stewpot Open Art Program, anyway, which is a local community outreach program that provides Dallas' homeless population a creative outlet. That is to say at this exhibition you'll see the work of the city's most off-the-grid outsider artists. — CG

Santa Pup Crawl in Deep Ellum
Do some guilt-free day drinking this Sunday Funday with the realization that your $35 admission to this one not only buys you a Community brew at five different stops on the crawl, but will go towards helping care for homeless animals. And if you're feeling extra charitable, there will be opportunities to adopt pups, too. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.


















































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