Go Off The Rails.

Another day, another YouTube channel devoted to destroying everyday object. Like the Hydraulic Press, Red Hot Nickel Ball and Will it Blend before it, Chemistry Flicks melts things like cellphones and fruit with chlorosulfonic acid. Oddly, the one thing that didn’t melt when dipped in the so-called “super acid” was a bar of chocolate. Good to know, in case you’re in some sort of emergency where you need to protect yourself from acid and you also happen to have some chocolate handy.

There’s also a certain science that goes into planning the very near future, y’know, as in the next seven days. How was that for a segue? Anyway, that so-called scientific process starts right here, where we’ve already gone and done you the solid of laying out this week’s best options.

And now that that’s all taken care of, you’ve got plenty of time freed up now to run out and buy an emergency candy bar, just in case.

Monday (4.18)
Smashing Pumpkins, Liz Phair at Majestic Theatre
The greatest day you’ll ever know.

Ellie Goulding at Verizon Theatre
Love her like you do.

Lucinda Williams at Kessler Theater
#blessed.

Official Dallas Stars Watching Party at South Side Music Hall
Let’s go Stars!

Official Dallas Mavericks Watching Party at Henderson Tap House
Let’s go Mavs!

Tuesday (4.19)
Duran Duran at American Airlines Center
Come undone.

Lucinda Williams at Kessler Theater
#doubleblessed

Skip Hollandsworth at Horchow Auditorium
The Hunt for America’s First Serial Killer.

The Summer Set at The Prophet Bar
Figure me out.

Wednesday (4.20)
Half Baked at Alamo Drafthouse/Sundown at Granada
A comedy about best buds.

Say Anything at Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill
With mewithoutyou.

Gin Wigmore at Trees
Hold on to hell.

4:20 on 4/20 at BrainDead Brewing
Get your Doritos pie on.

The Darkness at House of Blues
They’ll be rockin’ till the sun goes down.

Nathaniel Rateliff at South Side Ballroom
You need never get old.

Lukas Nelson, Shooter Jennings at Lola’s Trailer Park
Sons of guns.

Joe Savage, Luke McGlathery and Keegan McInroe’s Willie Nelson Cover Band at The Grotto
Get it? Cuz pot.

Thursday (4.21)
Curren$y at Trees
Get it? Cuz pot.

Turnpike Troubadours at The Rustic
The official Off the Rails pre-party.

85th Anniversary at Texas Theatre
And many more.

Grace Potter at House of Blues
Your girl.

Herbie Hancock & Wayne Shorter at Bass Hall
Doin’ it.

Dallas Mavericks vs Oklahoma City Thunder at America Airlines Center
Go mavs!

Friday (4.22)
The Coathangers, Har Mar Superstar at Dada
Best summer ever.

Aubrie Sellers at Double Wide
Sit here and cry.

Texas Showdown Tour at The Bomb Factory
A three-day music and tattoo fest.

KUZUthon at Harvest House
Put your radio on.

The Suffers with Sam Lao at Kessler Theater
Make some room.

George Clinton at House of Blues
Get it? Cuz pot.

Devin the Dude at Gas Monkey Live
Get it? Cuz pot.

Dollar Night at Lone Star Park
Play the ponies.

Denzel Curry at The Loft
Dark and violent.

Vilma Palma e Vampiros, Foco de Atelier at Trees (Sold Out)
Volverse loco por ellos.

Dallas Suscon: Public Suspension Day at Red Light
Hang in there.

Saturday (4.23)
Bobby Lee at Hyena’s (Dallas)
You MAD, bro?

David Cross at Majestic Theatre
Make comedy great again.

Off the Rails Country Festival at Toyota Stadium
With Blake Shelton, Chris Young, Ashley Monroe and more.

Something Wonderful at Texas Motor Speedway
With Tiesto, Dada Life, Borgore and more.

The Stars of Nashville at Verizon Theatre
As seen on TV.

World Book Day at The Wild Detectives
Take a look.

100 for 100 at Shipping & Receiving
100 pieces of art on sale for $100 or less.

John Congleton & the Nighty Nite at Double Wide
Just lay still.

The Roast of JK Rowling at Dallas Comedy House
Bring it, muggles.

Cynaide and Happiness Banana Bar Crawl
That shit is bananas.

Sunday (4.24)
Cowtown Conjunto Festival at Billy Bob’s
With Albert Zamora, David Farias, Garcia Bros. and more.

North Texas Cycling Summit at UTD
Ride on.

Thao & the Get Down Stay Down at Trees
Nobody dies.

The Dallas Opera Orchestra at Winspear Opera House
Performing Shostakovich’s Symphony No. 13 in B flat minor, Op. 113 “Babi Yar” and Beethoven’s Overture No. 3 Leonore.

Off the Rails Country Festival at Toyota Stadium
With Eric Church, Sam Hunt, Jana Kramer and more.

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