Go Down To The River.

How do you imagine you’d react if you got super stoned and then a sloth was randomly set in front of you? If you’re anything like these folks, you might feel like your wildest dreams are coming true.

Random surprises are fun and all, but you shouldn’t leave your week’s plans up to chance and happenstance. It probably should come as no shock, after years of publishing these, that providing you with a week’s worth of going out options is precisely what we’re going to do here.

It’s no surprise sloth, but it’ll do.

Monday (4.4)
Opening Day at Globe Life Park
You could use some baseball.

WWE Raw at American Airlines Center (Sold Out)
Raw is war.

Benoit Pioulard at Three Links
The gilded fear that guides the flow.

Tuesday (4.5)
Bruce Springsteen at American Airlines Center
Into the river we ride.

Tuesday Night Trash: Night of the Bloody Apes at Texas Theatre
An orgy of terror.

Wednesday (4.6)
Bill Nye at UNT (Sold Out)
The science guy.

Bleached at Three Links
Ride your heart.

TV Girl at RBC
Birds don’t sing.

Deep Ellum’s Not So Official PGA Tour Pub Crawl at High & Tight Barbershop
Green jacket, gold jacket, who gives a shit?

Thursday (4.7)
National Geographic Live! at The Perot Museum
Charlie Hamilton James bought a rainforest — and a cocaine factory!

Show Your Shorts at Texas Theatre
Salute your shorts.

Savor Dallas Arts District Garden Party at AT&T Performing Arts Center
Eat, drink and be merry.

DJ Biz Markie at House of Blues
He may or may not still got what you need.
Opening Day at Lone Star Park
You could use some horse racing.

Behind The Lens with Pattie Boyd and Henry Diltz at Kessler Theater
Ease your worried mind.

Friday (4.8)
M83 at The Bomb Factory (Sold Out)
Do it, try it.

Adam Ferrara at Addison Improv
Lolz.

The Fighter and the Kid Live Taping at House of Blues
Uncut and unedited.

Young Fathers at The Loft
White men are black men, too.

Bobby Sessions Unplugged at Three Links
Backed by RC & The Gritz.

Bugs Bunny at the Symphony at Bass Performance Hall
That’s what’s up.

Padma Lakshmi: Food & Family at First United Methodist Church, Dallas
What’s cookin’?

The Relatives (Album Release) at Dada
With Ishi, Son of Stan.

Tori Kelly at South Side Ballroom
Singing her handmade songs.

Tsushimamire at Crown and Harp
With We Are the Asteroid, Poly Starra.

Saturday (4.9)
Frankie Cosmos at Dada
The next thing.

Pageantry (Album Release) at Dan’s Silverleaf
Under the influence.

Savor Dallas Grand Tasting at Centennial Hall at Fair Park
Stuff your face.

“GRLPWR” at 500x Gallery
Girl power.

DFW Art Awards at Latino Cultural Center
And the award goes to…

Pups and Pints at Deep Ellum Brewing Company
Raising money for Paws in the City.

Dallas Food Culture Panel Discussion at Deep Ellum Postal & Grocer
Food for thought.

Melanie Martinez at South Side Ballroom (Sold Out)
Join the pity party.

The Dallas Record Show at Richardson Civic Center
Wax nostalgic.

Mothers at Three Links
It hurts until it doesn’t.

Dwight Yoakam at Lone Star Park
Blame the vain.

Bryan Adams at Verizon Theatre
To be young is to be sad.

Sunday (4.10)
Kirk Franklin at Majestic Theatre
The coolest man in gospel.

Justin Bieber at American Airlines Center
What do you mean?

Bike Swap at Rahr & Sons
Pedal power.

Urban Bazaar on Bishop
Shop small.

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