Mind Your Own Biscuits.

When you're the world's top-ranked competitive eater, you choke down massive amounts of calories as quickly as possible. It's what you do. Recently, Matt Stonie — the guy that won the most recent Nathan's Famous hot dog eating competition — gulped an entire container of Arnold Schwarzenegger's weight-gain powder in two minutes. That's 12,000 calories, or about the amount the average man is recommended to eat in an entire week.

Likewise, when you're a local culture publication, you keep an ear to the ground in order to make sure you've got the lowdown on all the best events in town. And like Stonie, we're about to throw an entire week's worth at you. Hey, it's what we do.

Monday (1.18)
34th Annual Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Birthday Celebration at MLK Jr. Recreation Center
Dream on.

Breaking Benjamin (Unplugged) at House of Blues
Dance with the devil.

Tuesday (1.19)
Stuff You Should Know Podcast at Texas Theatre
Feed your head.

Marianas Trench at House of Blues
Here's to the zeros.

RBC Underground at RBC
An evening with David Bowie.

Wednesday (1.20)
Surfer Blood at Dada
Hang ten.

Mike Stud at Trees
Not sorry.

Todd Rundgren at Granada Theater (Sold Out)
See the light.

Matthew Logan Vasquez at Lola's
With Telegraph Canyon, Kelly Doyle.

Thursday (1.21)
Kacey Musgraves at Majestic Theatre
The Rhinestone Revue.

Broken Gold at Three Links
Turn blue.

Elvis Costello Detour at Texas Theatre
A concert film.

“Teen Dream” at CentralTrak
By Brainfood's Ean and Erik Schuessler.

Friday (1.22)
Patton Oswalt at Majestic Theatre
Nerd out.

Gershwin's Greatest Hits at Meyerson Symphony Center
Get rhythm.

Drinking and Learning at Perot Museum
Feed your head.

Jacob Metcalf at Kessler Theater
Celebrating the release of his new album.

National Pie Day at Norma's
Free pie!

Paris is Burning at Texas Theatre
Have a ball.

Howard Kremer at Three Links
Who charted?

Django Reinhardt Festival at Arts Fifth Avenue
Unchained melodies.

Futurebirds at Dada
That's what I call eggs.

Saturday (1.23)
Three-Year Anniversary at Community Beer Co.
Three cheers.

Sarah Jaffe at Dan's Silverleaf
Her vision is clear.

Danny Diamonds at Rubber Gloves
Celebrating the release of his new album.

Ryan Bingham at Billy Bob's
Guess who is knocking on your door.

Bowlmor Dallas Grand Re-Opening Celebration
Hosted by Tony Romo.

Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy at Verizon Theatre
If you go to this show, you might be a redneck.

SAOSIN at South Side Ballroom
You're not alone.

Vice Palace Presents: Lord Byron, Tidals, Francine 13 at Deep Vellum
Turn the page.

Sunday (1.24)
Janet Jackson at American Airlines Center
What's it gonna be?

Christian Death at Trees
Dream for mother.

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