Grin And Gorilla Vs Bear It.
Earlier this month, a man in San Diego came acrosssss the perfect selfie opportunity: an unsuspecting rattlesnake.
All his friends would think he was bold and daring and cool, he figured. What he ended up with, however, was an even more epic selfie: himself in a hospital bed with a supremely jacked up arm after — get this! — being bitten by a rattlesnake.
The lapse in judgment cost the fellow a cool $153,161.25 in hospital bills. Double ouch!
There's much easier ways to impress your friends, however, than risking life and limb. Having every night this week planned out in advance? That's pretty cool, too, we think. To that end, here's a handy little cheat sheet to get you started.
Svetlanas at Three Links
From Russia with hate.
The Rich Hands, Loafers at Double Wide
Pure Texas punk.
Chain & the Gang at Dada
RIYL Dischord Records.
Faith No More at South Side Ballroom
You want it all, but you can't have it.
An Evening With Ernest Cline at Alamo Drafthouse
He wrote Fanboys.
All Stars Tour 2015 at The Bomb Factory
With Upon A Burning Body, Dance Gavin Dance, A Skylit Drive and more.
Motown: The Musical at Winspear Opera House
All hail Berry Gordy.
Phish at Verizon Theatre
RIYL dropping beans.
Vegan Beer Dinner at The Libertine
Booze and veggies.
Coal Chamber at Gas Monkey Live
A different kind of chamber music.
Comic Book Trivia Night at The Labb
It's super hard.
The Third Man at Texas Theatre
AKA Jack White's favorite movie.
Mission Impossible Marathon at Alamo Drafthouse
Your mission, if you choose to accept it…
Decks in the Park at Klyde Warren Park (Free)
It's back, and bigger than ever.
Fresh 45s at Crown and Harp
It's Spinderella's birthday bash edition.
Gorilla vs Bear V at Granada Theater
With With Jamie xx, Lower Dens, Tei Shi and more.
Lindy Hop Body Shop at Sons of Hermann Hall
A weekend-long dance workshop.
Brian McKnight at Verizon Theatre
Back at one.
Have Gun, Will Travel at Lola's
Take me home, Alice.
Heems at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
Zombie Apocalypse Laser Tag at Hangman's House of Horrors
A night of the living dead.
Wet Hot American Summer at Inwood Theatre
High Times. Hard Bodies. Soft Rock.
Bryan Callen at Addison Improv
He's MAD funny.
Jason Isbell at Gexa Energy Pavilion
Something more than free.
Hardwell at The Bomb Factory
311 at South Side Ballroom
The White Party at Winspear Opera House
It's exactly what it sounds like.
Tanya Tucker at Billy Bob's
Love her like you used to.
These Machines Are Winning at Double Wide
Get a little closer.