Spare The Rods.

The 122nd celebration of Labor Day goes down this Monday, giving us hard-working Americans our 122nd three-day weekend.

Thanks a lot Peter McGuire or Matthew Maguire, whichever of you beautiful bastards we owe this upcoming long weekend.

And thanks to us for planning loads of ways to spend your next few days off. — Cory Graves

Friday
Baroness, Pallbearer at Granada Theater
A Baroness song can take a moment to ramp up. There’s some melodic noodling — not for naught, though, as this move tends to lulls listeners right into the band’s groove, before all pacing goes to hell and energy bursts out all across the band’s four pieces. Little Rock doom outfit Pallbearer opens. — Pete Freedman

Invasion Pre-Party at Trees
Before a mile of pre-’64 hotrods and pin-up girls invade Elm Street on Saturday for the ninth straight year, the car show’s organizers prime the pump with Johnny Cash tribute Cash’d Out. — CG

Krewella at Cambridge Room
The EDM-meets-stadium-rock sister duo’s music was once described by Vice as “the sound of Transformers kicking each other in the testicles.” The thing is, they totally meant that as a compliment. It’s hard-thumping electronic music that grabs hold of your body and takes over. Needless to say, you should bring appropriate footwear. — CG

Breaking Away Social Ride at Small Brewpub
This Tour de Oak Cliff departs from Small Brewpub at 7 p.m., and winds up at Texas Theatre just in time for a screening of the 1979 cycling drama, Breaking Away. — CG

Breaking Away After-Party at Texas Theatre
After watching Daniel Stern and Dennis Quaid make their two-wheeled dreams come true, stick around and drink craft beers and dance in the lobby. Spandex not required. — CG

OmniFest at Reverchon Park
An outdoor EDM extravaganza featurings DJs Snow White, Kayla Kruz, The Suspects, D-Train, Yosh, Souljah, Joe Vega, Mishal, Inzo and Girlbot. It’s a thing. Probably. — CG

Picnic Lightning (Album Release) at Dreamy Life Records (Free)
This weekend, fuzzy Fort Worth rockers Picnic Lightning will release their debut LP on cassette. Like most good records coming out of the 817 these days, this kinda lo-fi, kinda psych album is being put out by the Dreamy Life folks, who’ll be celebrating with a party at their record store with barbecue and a keg. — CG

Deep Ellum Metal Fest
All weekend long, Reno’s, Wits End, Curtain Club and Liquid Lounge will be hosting heavy act after heavy act. That’s over 50 bands in all. For the full lineup and schedule, hit the link above. — CG

Danny Diamonds, Skagg Philips, Kim Nall & the Fringe at Dan’s Silverleaf
A year or so ago, Danny Diamonds and Co. scrapped together a pile of cash and ventured out to Tiny Telephone in San Francisco to record with John Vanderslice. The result, Danny says, speaks for itself with regard to “fidelity, honesty and quality.” The resulting JV LP maybe the best thing he’s ever done. But get this — he went back to the new Tiny Telephone in Oakland to record another disc with Vanderslice that’ll come out later this year. And that one, he says, is even better. Two more of our Denton favorites open this stacked bill. — CG

A Silent Film at Dada
What’s the name of the silent film that’s screening at Dada tonight you ask, trying to set us up for a bad Abbott and Costello bit. But we don’t take the bait, replying “A Silent Film is the name of the English alt-rockers that are playing the venue tonight.” Face. — CG

Kenny Wayne Shepherd at Billy Bob’s
The noted blues noodler noodles along notably at the World’s Largest Honky-Tonk this long weekend. — CG

Mountain of Smoke, Bargoyles, Big Fiction, Ten Foot Beast at Three Links
Quick, name four of the absolutely loudest acts in town. Ear plugs probably aren’t a bad idea. You don’t want to be the doofus with torn-up bar napkins stuffed in their ears. — CG

Trump’d: The Musical at Dallas Comedy House
Everyone’s favorite, mostly least-favorite, Republican candidate, Donald Trump, has been the center of mockery ever since his days as a reality TV host. With the presidential election gradually approaching, the Dallas Comedy House has thrown together a sketch musical event centered around one sole purpose — to roast the fuck out of the Drumpf. — Calvin Cashen

Aaron Aryanpur at Hyena’s Plano
Aryanpur has a sharp delivery and expert timing, but those aspects alone aren’t enough to explain how Aryanpur has become one of the best — and most respected — comics in DFW. He talks openly onstage about his life, and he’s able to find terrific, singular comedy in deeply personal matters. That willingness to be honest and vulnerable with crowds is what makes him an irreplaceable performer, and also helped his debut album reach the top spot on iTunes’ comedy chart. — Alex Gaskin

Saturday
Invasion Car Show at Trees
For the 9th Labor Day Weekend in a row, the Invasion Car Show will be back in Deep Ellum, all along Elm Street and right by Trees. Starting at 10 a.m., the day promises to be full of pre-1964 traditional hot rods and custom cars, along with a slew of everyday ladies dressed in their best pin-up girl outfits — some that could even make Betty Paige a bit jealous. A rockin’ after-party with Reverend Horton Heat follows at Trees. — Melissa Mackaly

Richard Cheese at House of Blues
Per his website, musical comedian Richard Cheese and his Lounge Against the Machine won’t bring their schtick back to Dallas until at least 2019. So, um, act accordingly. — CG

Trombone Shorty at Bedford Blues & BBQ Festival
Born into a well-known New Orleans jazz family, Troy Andrews began cutting his brass chops since the age of six, and spent his formative years as a member of several prominent NOLA brass bands. The outfit he now fronts, Orleans Avenue, fuses contemporary jazz with funk and R&B. He’s a versatile performer — enough so that he’s collaborated with a wide-ranging batch of performers, such as like Jeff Beck, Kid Rock, Warren Haynes and the Rebirth Brass Band. And quite effortlessly, at that. — CG

The Buck Pets at Kessler Theater
The path to rock ‘n’ roll fame and fortune has long been excessively littered with the sad-sack tales of never-weres masquerading as shouldabeens, wouldabeens and couldabeens. We’ve all heard those stories. Many, many times over, in fact, as is the outcome that frankly goes hand in hand with such volume. Less familiar, perhaps, are the tales of the actually-almost-made-its — the bands that reached high enough to see the top, seemed primed to get over and stay there, and then, for whatever, just didn’t, instead fated to find those final levels just beyond an extended, stretched-out reach that preceded a fast fall. Arguably the clearest Dallas representative of this second set is a band called The Buck Pets, a group that pretty much had the world by the balls following its come-up in the late ’80s and early ’90s as signees to Island Records. — PF

Welcome to the Jungle at Viva’s Lounge
This crop of burlesque dancers from Dallas, Austin, Hot Springs and Minneapolis got fun and games. And if you’ve got the money, honey, they’ve got your disease. That is to say, they’ll bring you to your knees. — CG

Garrett Owen & Clayton Smith at Josey Records
Holy balls, does Clayton Smith have a way with words. The Rye Boys frontman sprinkles some wonderful turns of phrases — not to mention his penchant for wordplay and copious alliteration — all throughout the surprise LP that he put out earlier this summer. It’s enough to make you forget you’re listening to just a guy and an acoustic guitar. — CG

OmniFest at Reverchon Park
Assuming Friday’s EDM outing actually went off without a hitch, a bunch of hip-hop artists will follow suit Saturday. In all likelihood, anyway. MO3, Chief Keef, Glo Gang, Maserati Ye, Sno214, Yella Beezy, Cali-Cal &EMFAM, Kal Gully and Corey J are scheduled to perform as of this writing. — CG

Grand Opening at The Nines
New majority owner Allen Falkner is relaunching the place formerly known as Red Light Lounge as a dance club/event space called The Nines. The club, which will remain a part of the Lizard Lounge umbrella, will be the future home of events such as Suscon and the like. To get things started off on the right foot, this grand opening party will be hosted by the world famous Lizardman. — CG

Harold and Maude at Texas Theatre
This cult favorite ’70s romantic black comedy centers around a death-obsessed youth named Harold, who engages in a romantic relationship with the 79-year-old Maude. Among the taglines used to advertise the film during its original run include: “They will defy everything you’ve ever seen or heard about screen lovers!”, “They were meant to be. But exactly what they were meant to be is not quite clear.” and, best of all, “They met at the funeral of a perfect stranger. From then on, things got perfectly stranger and stranger.” — CG

“Class is in Session” — New Works by Tim Kerr and Will Johnson at {neighborhood}
With an Andy Warhol-like, comic book approach, former punk-rocker (he was in The Big Boys) Tim Kerr offers a unique take on modern art. He’s even got some of his pieces up in the Rosa Parks Museum in Montgomery, Alabama. His pieces are culturally relevant and are meant to evoke self-expression. Catch his newest works alongside those of former Centro-matic frontman, baseball lover and folk painter Will Johnson. The exhibition runs through September 27. — CG

Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy at Meyerson Symphony Center
The bleeps and bloops of one the greatest videogame franchise — soundtrack-wise, anyway — gets performed live by the DSO. — CG

No Pants Party at The TruckYard
Pants optional. Undies mandatory. In all seriousness, you’ll be partying pantsless because you donated them to families affected by the recent flooding in Baton Rouge. — CG

Com Truise at Shipping & Receiving
Electronic musician Com Truise earned his name after realizing he was, essentially, the Bizzaro World version of the Top Gun actor. The Mission Very Much Possible actor performs tonight in Fort Worth. — CG

Fishboy, Karen Meat, Dubb Nubb at J&J’s
Just because J&J’s isn’t doing shows in its basement anymore, doesn’t mean they’re not doing shows at all anymore. I mean, Fishboy’s gotta play somewhere. — CG

The Nightowls at Three Links
If you’re looking for a night of great, local soul music, Three Links has got you covered. The Nightowls are a Texas soul group, complete with horns and backup singers. They bring the old-fashioned Motown sound and give it a modern update, and it works great. — Paul Wedding

DFW Free Day of Yoga
For the tenth year in a row, just about every yoga studio in North Texas will open their doors for free classes today. Whether you use the opportunity to try your hand at a new form of workout or just to check out some of the city’s hottest new studios, you’ve got nothing to lose — except a little stress, maybe. — CG

Gaslamp Killer at RBC
The alt-hip-hop DJ, and Flying Lotus associate, will try to kill it in Deep Ellum the same way he does in San Diego’s Gaslamp district. — CG

Sunday
Dr. John at Bedford Blues & BBQ Festival
The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer brings his musical mojo to the barbecue party. What a get! — CG

Dallas Zine Party at CentralTrak (Free)
Representatives from a couple dozen zines and micro-publications from Dallas, Houston and Oklahoma will converge in Expo Park this weekend to make a case that print is, in fact, not dead. Further emboldening their stance is the fact that this is the second annual such celebration. — CG

Labor of Love at Deep Ellum Brewing Co.
Deep Ellum Brewing Co.’s fifth annual Labor of Love homebrewing competition takes place this Sunday. Law prevents them from selling tickets, but those interesting in attending can join their home-brew club, LOL Homebrew Society, as festival admission is free for members. Oh those silly TABC dinguses. The event takes place from 6 to 10 p.m. — Porttia Portis

OmniFest at Reverchon Park
Can the Ray Allen that didn’t play Jesus Shuttlesworth go three for three with this inaugural fest run? Find out Sunday, when DJ Mike Swift, Kent Jones, Dum Dolla and some acts TBD are supposed to take over the park. — CG

Reimagine Crowdus
Every year since 2011, Dallas has designated one afternoon in September as Park(ing) Day, in which several Downtown parking spots are converted into miniature city parks for a few hours. The idea is a cute one, intended make a point about how much of Dallas’ public space (streets) are dedicated to usage by private vehicles. In late April/early May of 2015, economic development consulting firm Ash + Lime took the idea a step further, converting a block of Crowdus in Deep Ellum, between Main and Elm Streets into a pop-up park for four straight days. Said organizers back then, “The Crowdus Park project will make Dallas relevant in a nationwide discussion of a lack of public spaces in American cities.” The idea seems to have made a sizeable impact, and now there’s some people that would like to see that street closure become something of a permanent one. This September, for the entire month, the Deep Ellum Foundation is converting that same strip into a pedestrian park called Reimagine Crowdus, where they’ll host daily concerts, film screenings, workout classes, comedy performances, TEDxSMU talks and an outdoor market, among other things. — CG

Brewfest Pre-Party at The Rustic
Last month, Martin House Brewing and local music promotor 13th Floor teamed up to honor a dozen local bands with a new beer collab called Tip Jar. They celebrated as much by having all those bands mentioned on the can play a big release party out in Fort Worth. Now the same thing will happen in Dallas. — CG

Labor Day Weenie Roast at The Church
There’s a complimentary weenie buffet at the club-within-a-club this weekend. That’s not an innuendo, either, we don’t think. — CG

Quadrophone at Texas Theatre
OK, this thing’s a two-parter. First up, Kaila Parrish, Black Dolphin (Dan Hill of EATQS), Alfonso Callejas and Black Doll will each perform electronic sounds in four separate rooms, unable to hear one another. Audience members can move about freely from room to room, or head to a fifth room where all the sounds will be pumped in at once. Afterwards, Francine Thirteen, Lily Taylor and Starfruit will perform a behind-the-screen show, separately, we presume. — CG

Dallas vs Houston at Hyena’s (Dallas)
DJ turned promotor Spinderella has pitted three Dallas comedians against three from H Town. Bragging rights are at stake. — CG

Monday
R. Ariel, Moth Face at The Wild Detectives
Hey Denton youngsters, all-ages shows happen all over the place in Dallas. You should think about coming for a visit. Here’s one worth considering, it features sleepy Arizon synth-popper R. Ariel and Dallas’ own Moth Face. And they serve both coffee and Topo Chico for all your underage drinking needs. — CG

Pour Man’s Beer Dinner at The Common Table
Four courses paired with four craft brews, and all for under $30. I’ll drink to that. — CG

Cover image by Melissa Mackaly.

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