The Worst Is Yet To Come.

According to many, the reason cats so often lick their owners is to show a sign of affection or trust. Either that, or your salty, sweaty skin just tastes yum.

But if you’ve ever wanted to lick them back to reciprocate their friendly signal, you probably already know how gross an idea that is. Until some geniuses invented a silicon tongue designed for cat owners to lick their pets without getting nasty hair in their sad and lonely mouths.

Really, though, if you’ve ever considered licking your cat, it’s probably a sure sign you’ve been spending way too much time home alone with the thing. You really must snap out of it. Let us help. — Cory Graves

Keb’ Mo’ at Majestic Theatre
Celebrated roots and blues icon Keb’ Mo’ returns to Dallas in support of his 2014 effort BLUESAmericana. A living legend! — Calvin Cashen

A-Kon Masquerade Ball at Hilton Anatole
Dallas’ anime hub A-Kon is once again partnering with the Hilton Anatole Hotel for their 27th annual pre-convention masquerade ball. Join Dallas’ anime enthusiasts for a night of dancing, drinking and, above all, cosplaying. Admission is free with a valid A-Kon badge, but entry is not guaranteed. — CC

Aries Spears at Addison Improv
Though Spears is best known for his television work as part of Showtime series The Underground and holding the title of MADtv‘s second-longest tenured cast member, the comedian is no stranger to the stand-up game either. In fact, the 41-year-old Chicago native started receiving his first paying stand-up gigs when he was just 14. — CG

Giuda, Killer Hearts, Dog Company at Three Links
Giuda is a five-piece band from Rome, Italy with influences ranging from ’70s cock-rock to the chord-heavy snarl of U.K. punk. Catch the hook-savvy outfit with The Killer Hearts and Dog Company opening. It’ll be a night of drug-addled rock ‘n’ roll. — CC

Bishop Arts Wine Walk
It’s 5 p.m. somewhere. Wine and summer just go together in that good ol’ fashioned American way; like apple and pie. Drink and shop it up. — CC

Love Cop, Funeral Gold, Vogue Machine at Aqua Lab Sound Recordings
The Burger-signed lo-fi pop duo Love Cop plays Deep Ellum recording studio Aqua Lab Studio Recordings. Opening acts include Emigrate Records signee Funeral Gold and Denton post-wave outfit Vogue Machine. Sounds like a night of scuzzy garage rock and shit-faced partying. — Calvin Cashen

Hip-Hop Karaoke at Crown and Harp
Leave your prejudice behind. Crown & Harp’s monthly Hip-Hop Karaoke Night hits Greenville returns. Take the stage and settle your beefs. — CC

American Head Charge at Trees
It’s an unwritten law for metal shows to feature at lease three openers. American Head Charge has that on lock. Catch them with Motograter, Kill For Mother and Rex Mundi at this one. — CC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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