Start The Fire.
Take a look at it. It'll sure make you feel infinitesimally small real quick. Take some deep breaths, too. Everything will be OK.
Because, in spite of your newfound perspective, things aren't all that different closer to home.
Like most every Thursday, there's lots going on around these parts. — Cory Graves
Billy Joel at American Airlines Center
It's been a long time since Dallas has seen Billy Joel perform his massive catalog of hits, and even longer since he's come through without Elton John in-tow — since 2007, in fact. Having sold 150 million records over the past quarter century, the piano man ranks as one of most popular recording artists of all time. He'll have you feeling alright. — Lauren Rushing
John Mulaney at Majestic Theatre
If the widely panned Mulaney sitcom on FOX is your only reference point to John Mulaney, the promising young comic for whom the show is named, then you're probably way off in your perceptions of the guy. Because here's the thing: The just-a-little-too-Seinfeld-ian sitcom is basically the sole misstep the comedian's made in his career. On the flip side, the argument could be made that the 32-year-old Mulaney is the funniest stand-up of his generation. His pair of specials — 2009's The Top Part and 2012's New In Town — are as uproariously funny as any recent specials this side of Aziz Ansari's Intimate Moments For a Sensual Evening. And Mulaney's got cred elsewhere, too: He spent five years as a writer for Saturday Night Live, where he became best known for co-creating Bill Hader's Stefon character — and, y'know, also being the guy that would switch up Hader's cue cards between dress rehearsal and the show's live taping to try and make him laugh and break character. For more info on this show, check out our interview with Mulaney here. — CG
Russell Peters at Verizon Theatre
Peters was born in Toronto, to Indian family, which he talks about frequently in his act, often using it as a gateway to riff on racial stereotypes. According to Forbes, he's one of the highest paid comedians going. After setting sales records in England and Australia, though, he can pretty much command whatever he wants. Tickets to this show run between $50 and $70. — CG
Giraffage at Three Links
Giraffage produces music much in the vein of Flying Lotus or Four Tet; his music is super sample-happy and wide-ranging. His palette features all 31 flavors, not to mention abrupt time signature changes that have no qualms with slapping the listener upside the head. There's certainly no shortage of beastly beat drops or bone rattling bass, either. — Travis Lilley
Bahamas at Kessler Theater
Toronto-based indie rock band, Bahamas manages to sound impressively lush, considering the four-piece's spare instrumentation (two back-up singers, a lead vocalist/guitarist, and a drummer). It won't be a loud night at The Kessler, but it won't be a subdued one, either. Expect this affair to fall perfectly in the middle of those extremes. Hey, you'll probably hear that song from that James Franco phone commercial, too. — Pete Freedman
Beethoven's First at Meyerson Symphony Center
The program the DSO is putting on this weekend is bookended by firsts — kicking off with Bach's first Brandenberg Concerto and winding down with Beethoven's first symphony. Between the two will be a special performance of Britten's French horn-heavy song cycle, Serenade for Tenor, Horn and Strings. — CG
Art Con Select at Kettle Art
For the next week-or-so, the crop of bubbling under talent showing their work at Deep Ellum's Kettle Art gallery is a list hand-picked by owner Frank Campagna, each of which participated in November's Art Con event, but have somehow never exhibited their work at the space. — CG
Mushroomhead at Trees
California industrial metal band Mushroomhead has been around for 20 years from now. Certainly, then, someone else has done a better job of making fun of their name than I can here, so I'll give them a pass. (Seriously: Is it a penis joke? I really don't know.) — PF
To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.