Whether your goal is to get drunk spending the fewest amount of dollars or consuming the least amount of calories, the folks behind the immensely handy Get Drunk Not Fat tool have got you covered. In both instances, Everclear is the No. 1 choice, obviously, with Jose Cuervo tequila and Crown Royal whiskey proving themselves quite superior on both fronts as well.
Similarly, we folks at Central Track have put together a tool to help you decide your best going out options for tonight. The following fared quite well. — Cory Graves
True Grit at Alamo Drafthouse (Free)
As drunken, hard-nosed U.S. Marshal and a Texas Ranger Rooster Cogburn, John Wayne help a stubborn teenager track down her father's murderer in Indian territory. It was a stellar film that not only earned Wayne his only Oscar, but warranted a remake a few years back. And — get this! — the book was even better. Thanks to D Magazine's Big D Reads program, 17,000 kids in Dallas are all reading it right now. In partnership with that program, Alamo's showing the 1969 classic Western for free. — Lauren Rushing
Extreme Noise Terror at Dada
These '80s crust punks are considered one of the U.K.'s first grindcore bands, however, vocalist Dean Jones is the only surviving member from that era. For this tour, the band is joined by its U.S. counterparts Phobia, a band similarly devoid of original members. — CG
Outward Bound Mixtape Sessions at Crown and Harp
As its name suggests, Maryland garage rock outfit AMFMS harkens back to a reverb-heavy, compression-rich rock ruled the AM-FM dial. Mouthbreather, Terminator 2, Orgullo Primitivo and Bloody Phoenix also perform at this always outside-the-box weekly. For what it's worth, this performance also marks Terminator 2's penultimate show, and last-ever Dallas performance before one of its members moves to Colorado. — CG
AFGA Secret Screening at Alamo Drafthouse (Free)
Once a month Alamo Drafthouse will hold screenings of rare 35mm prints — everything from b-movies to classics. The thing is, you won't know what movie they'll be showing that night until the lights dim and the projectors start rolling. Good, bad, or otherwise, though, your tickets won't cost a thing. — CG
Bad Ass Jazz at The Underpass (Free)
A quick reminder: Just because the Amsterdam Bar decided to shut 'er down last month, it didn't put an end to local jazz master Shelley Carroll's Bad Ass Jazz nights. Dallas' favorite, long-running weekly jazz night simply moved 500 feet up the street to its new home at The Underpass. — CG
To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.