It’s Pride Week in Dallas, and Here Are a Couple Dozen Ways to Celebrate.

Think your last week was bad? It probably wasn’t as horrible as this guy, who was stung in the penis by a sting ray while swimming in the ocean.

It gets worse. The creature was still attached when medics arrived on scene to help remove it.

How’s that for perspective? Even if you aren’t expecting you genitals to be attacked by wildlife this week, your days could always be brighter. We, along with this super-helpful list of activities below, are here to make sure of that.

Monday (9.10)
Dark Rooms at Dada
They’re baaaaack.

King Kong at Angelika Film Center (Plano)
A thunderous box office giant.

Tuesday (9.11)
On the Run II at AT&T Stadium
Jay-Z + Beyoncé.

Mom Jeans at RBC
With Just Friends, Shortly, Sad Cops.

Foxing at Dada
With Ratboys, Kississippi.

Wednesday (9.12)
Miguel at South Side Ballroom
Come through and chill.

Dark Rooms at Harvest House
They’re still heeeeere.

Paint Your Denim Jacket at Jade & Clover
Snazz up your cut.

Killing Joke Tribute Night at Independent Bar & Kitchen
The ‘80s.

Thursday (9.13)
Independencia Festival at House of Blues
Siempre Selena.

Rise Against at Toyota Music Factory
Give it all.

”Masstige” at Kettle Art
A group exhibit featuring works by Jamie Walters, Minji Kang-Watrous, Marc Dominus and Todd Gutmann.

Hannibal Buress at Majestic Theatre
Comedy is a weird job.

The Office Trivia at Tin Panther
Bears. Beats. Battlestar Galactica.

Boyz II Men at Winspear Opera House
Motown Philly, back again.

Friday (9.14)
Tchaikovsky Extravaganza at Bass Performance Hall
Kicking off three days of virtuosity.

Social Distortion at House of Blues
With a free classic car show in the parking lot.

Punch Brothers at Majestic Theatre
Just look at this mess.

Whethan at Stereo Live

KRS-ONE at Gas Monkey Live
The sound of da police.

Brews, Bites & Eats at Sammons Center for the Arts
Eat it up.

Roky Erickson at Granada Theater
Walk with a zombie.

Saturday (9.15)
The Gritznic at Longhorn Ballroom
A family picnic and all-star jam.

BTS at Fort Worth Convention Center
They’re here tomorrow, too.

Pride Brunch at Perle on Maple
Be proud.

Dallas Pride Festival at Reverchon Park
Come on, get happy.

DSO Gala Concert and After-Party at Meyerson Symphony Center
What’s gayer than Kristin Chenoweth singing show tunes?

Shonen Knife at Dan’s Silverleaf
Eat it.

Moon Boots at It’ll Do Club
Keep the faith.

Lil Debbie at The Rail Club
Break it down.

Lucius at Texas Theatre
Right down the line.

Oktoberfest at Community Beer Co.

Shine at SiSu Uptown Resort
A Pride pool party.

Reba McEntire at Toyota Music Factory
Don’t let me down.

7th Annual FOE BBQ Cook Off at Fraternal Order of Eagles
Wait 30 minutes before getting back into the pool.

A Formal Affair, Prom at the Alexander Mansion
Lose your virginity.

Sunday (9.16)
35th Annual Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade on Cedar Springs Road
Shine on.

Chefs for Farmers: The Mix Off at DEC on Dragon
Shake it off.

Mexican Independence Day at The Rustic

Mugen Hoso, Sloth Fist, Station Wagon at Three Links
It’s only rock ‘n’ roll.

Game of Thrones Live Concert Experience at American Airlines Center
Where are my dragons?!

Hasan Minhaj at Majestic Theatre
A Daily Show senior correspondent.

“Cult of the Machine: Precisionism in American Art” at Dallas Museum of Art
Opening day.

Spectrum: The Dallas Pride Tea Party at S4
Pinkies out.

An Evening with Kevin McDonald at Stomping Ground Comedy
The kid’s alright.

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