The Rangers' Postseason Menu Is More Unhealthy And Strange Than The State Fair's.

Congrats to the Texas Rangers for pulling together a remarkable run in the second half of the season to win the AL West for the first time since 2011!

Obviously, this is great news — especially in light of the fact that the club has watched the postseason from the sidelines since 2012.

But, um, the work isn't exactly done, folks.

For one thing, it's pretty imperative that the fans in this here baseball town actually show up to support the team during its postseason games at the Ballpark — something they couldn't be bothered to do as the team climbed back into contention over the dog days of summer. Things got so bad out Arlington way, in fact, that talk of stadiums in Downtown Dallas when the Rangers' lease ends in 2024 have resurfaced.

Maybe this is all why the Texas Rangers organization and its concessions partner in Delaware North Sportservice have been focusing their combined efforts so hard on non-baseball-related stadium draws in recent years? Hey, anything to get those butts in the seat, we suppose.

But now things are getting ridiculous. Earlier this week, the

For Postseason Home Games: The @Rangers will sell a hot dog w/cotton candy-infused mustard, topped w/cotton candy pic.twitter.com/No7V4iufdC— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) October 5, 2015

There's also a thing called an Inside Out Hot Dog, which is a hot dog drowned in mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, with brisket, chili or shredded chicken.

And, despite a fancy name like “The One-Pound Top-N-Go Cheetos,” there's an item that's just a bag of Cheetos filled with meat, cheese, sour cream and jalapenos — and costs a full $26.

But, wait, there's also a two-foot-long brownie cooked with Rice Krispies crust, dipped in funnel cake batter and then fried. It's called the Elvis Jabberdog Brownie and there's even a junior version for those that don't want to literally turn into a sentient version of diabetes when watching a baseball game.

What in the actual fuck is happening here? This stuff isn't funny, appealing or even all that interesting. It's just completely gross. How is the MLB, which sponsors events that promote “good health,” OK with this?

Seriously: How?

7838_2

7838_3

7838_4

7838_5

7838_6

7838_7

7838_8

7838_9

7838_10

7838_11

7838_12

7838_13

7838_14

7838_15

7838_16

7838_17

7838_18

7838_19

7838_20

7838_21

7838_22

7838_23

7838_24

7838_25

7838_26

7838_27

7838_28

7838_29

7838_30

7838_31

7838_32

7838_33

7838_34

7838_35

7838_36

7838_37

7838_38

7838_39

7838_40

7838_41

7838_42

7838_43

7838_44

7838_45

7838_46

7838_47

7838_48

7838_49

7838_50

No more articles
X