Fast Food and Vanity. That's What Dallas Does.
Welcome to D-Rated, our weekly feature that tries to determine if things are looking up or down for Dallasites by arbitrarily assigning point values to current events.
Everything's Bigger In Texas: A new study says North Texas' population is still growing at astounding rate. Considering that we pretty much write about similar studies on this subject every week, we can't help but feel like studies announcing this fact are growing at an astounding rate, too. Plus 1.
Snaggle Tooth: A Texas A&M professor confirms that a tooth found in a Dallas man's backyard once belonged to a mammoth. That sucker must've smelled, too. It hasn't been brushed in almost 9,000 years. Plus 1.
Local Yokel: Dallas City Council gave the OK this week on a couple of new ordinances aimed at making things easier for local businesses around these parts. That said, Pizza Hut is a local business, so… Plus 1.
Shot In The Arm: Since the Dallas reboot started airing on TNT, tourism has increased significantly at Southfork Ranch. No word yet on how many of these tourists are just Jordana Brewster stalkers looking to sneak a peak. Plus 1.
Take Dat Witchu: Dirk Nowitzki's brother claims Mark Cuban came onto him and has now filed a restraining order against the Mavericks' owner. That's one way to blow having the chance to pitch your business model to the folks on Shark Tank, I guess. Minus 1.
Angry Mob: The Anger Room, the area upstart where folks can pay a fee to let loose steam by going crazy on objects supplied by the proprietor, says business is good. Punching your pillow is so passe. Plus 1.
You Probably Think This Item's About You: Dallas and Plano rank in the top five of Men's Health's most-vain cities list. Feels like we should've been ranked even higher, though. Right? We're awesome at being vain. I mean, have you seen how good we look when we're being vain? Minus 5.
Pop Goes The Weasel: City council member Dwaine Caraway thinks a lack of popcorn is downtown's problem. Dwaine Caraway is an idiot. More popcorn downtown would just mean more people complaining about having kernels stuck in their teeth. Minus 1.
Baby Mama Drama: A Dallas mom allegedly tried to sell her baby for $4,000 in a classified ad. Did you know that $4,000 can get you 8,000 tacos at Jack in the Box? We can't help but think that this woman did. Minus 4.
Get Your Popcorn Ready: TMZ is reporting that someone is shopping around some Terrell Owens sex pics. And here we were worried that Owens crying on Dr. Phil was only going to be a one-time thing. How fast before the sequel, you think? Minus 2.
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger: Dallas is the busiest fast-food market in America. More proof that we should really stop hitting up Taco Cabana on the way home from the bar. Minus 1.
Last week's total: Plus 8.26.
This week's count: Minus 9.
This week's running total: Minus .74.
Photo by Flickr user ebru, via WikiCommons.