Cheers To You, Chris Christie.
Dear New Jersey Governor Chris Christie,
How are you today? Doing well we hope. We just checked on the latest polls for you and, yep, you're still favorable in everyone's eyes. And how you've managed to remain so after breaking the hearts of elementary school children in your home state by mentioning that you preferred our hometown heroes the Dallas Cowboys to your local New York Giants or Jets, is nothing short of amazing.
When you said “My favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys,” we were flattered, of course, but we also found ourselves a bit enamored by your gumption. Come on, that's not necessarily the smartest thing for the governor of New Jersey to say to his constituents. That took some real balls.
We knew the second we heard that kid ask about your favorite teams that he was putting you in a somewhat tough situation. But what did you do? You kept it real like you always do really. You didn't really give a fuck that you were setting your political advisor up for a possible heart attack or that your constituents would be none too pleased. You were honest and spoke your mind and, we just wanted to let you know we think that's pretty cool.
We don't know why we were so shocked though, really. You've never been one to be all that conservative with your public comments. And for the record that strategy has always seemed to work for you in the past.
Like that time when Congress delayed your emergency aid after Hurricane Sandy and you were quick to keep it real. On Fox News, of all places, valiantly said, “I'm saying right now, anyone from New York or New Jersey who contributes one penny to congressional Republicans is out of their minds, because what they did last night was put a knife in the back of New Yorkers and New Jerseyans. It was an absolute disgrace.” If only more politicians had your nerve we're guessing our country would be in a lot better shape.
What's even greater about you coming out as a Dallas Cowboys fan, though, is that it shows the rest of the world just how loyal you are, and we think that's a great quality to have. And after so many years of futility, it's something even most local fans are struggling with right now. The Cowboys haven't been to the playoffs since 2009 and in that time the Giants won a Super Bowl and have a 4-2 record against the Cowboys. As if that weren't bad enough most of those losses to the Giants came on national TV for the entire country to witness. And yet you've remained faithful still.
That's something we can definitely respect, and maybe even learn from. We mean, if you can remain that loyal to the Cowboys, maybe we can finally come to terms with Tony Romo's new contract. Maybe we can even talk about it when the 'Boys and Giants faceoff in this year's home opener. They're playing at Jerryworld on September 8 if you wanna maybe catch the game together. Would you like that? Cool, us too.
Anyway, I'll let you get back to doing a kickass job running your state, but before you go you should give the Mavericks, Rangers and Stars a chance, too. They're pretty sweet teams to follow as well.
Hope you have a good day, you big lovable guy.
Mikel and the rest of the Central Track staff.