Oh My God! It's World-Famous Hipster DJ Steve Aoki!
Hey, Dallas! Did you enjoy getting sprayed last night? That was fun. Now we can spend the rest of the weekend worrying about wayward chemicals and the possible health defects we will suffer from years down the road! (To be fair, we will likely suffer health defects anyways, because in 2034 scientists will discover that watermelon seeds can grow inside your belly). But maybe we should just forget about all of that and go out this weekend? I mean, there's just so much going on. West Nile will not stop us! Only death induced by West Nile will stop us! Positive thinking!
Ladies Stay Crazy Dance Party at Texas Theater
Are you a lady? Do you like ladies? Is your favorite phrase, like mine, “Where my ladies at?!” Well, tonight, you can get down with some girl power, because the Texas Theater's dance party theme is very, very general. (Half of the population, anyone?)
Iron Maiden at Gexa Energy Pavillion
Run to the hiiiiilllllllllsssss! Iron Maiden is probably one of the most popular metal groups ever, and their fans never seem to get tired of songs about devils, shadows and darkness. It's a wild world out there, so why not fill your nights with the “Number of the Beast” and the like?
Shonen Knife at Dada
Shonen Knife is often the first band that comes to mind when someone says “Japanese punk group,” and that's probably because of their close association with Nirvana and The Sonic Youth. The group first formed in 1981 and has achieved worldwide recognition, and was one of the first Japanese bands that broke into international markets.
Steve Aoki at Lizard Lounge
Despite being born with the tragically boring name “Steve,” Aoki didn't just become an insurance salesman like all of the other Steves. Oh, no. This Steve vowed to be different. And he succeeded! He's internationally known now as a famous electronic musician. Also? He has really long hair. Bet his mom wasn't expecting that when she filled out his birth certificate!
Blackstone Rangers, Zhora and Cutter at the Double Wide
The Blackstone Rangers' cassette tapes of their EP Into the Sea were so popular that they quickly sold out, which should tell you a lot about how amazing they are. To top it off, they'll be playing with fellow locals Zhora and Cutter.
Brad Paisley at Gexa Energy Pavillion
Famous country singer Bread Paisley, who has such a fun last name that I'm totally jealous, will be performing with The Band Perry and Brad Paisley's Cowboy Hat, which will eventually branch off and start writing its own songs. (Side note: Wouldn't it be cool if some confused Iron Maiden fans showed up at this Brad Paisley show accidentally? Or vice versa?)
SonsStock at Sons of Herman Hall
Unfortunately, “SonsStock” doesn't exactly roll off of the tongue, but when the day is filled with music at one of the coolest venues in town, nobody really cares. This event is an all-day music, food, and craft fair, topped off with performances by Loretta Callens and Randy Hamilton.
The Darkness' Hot Cakes Listening Party at Good Records
Do you believe in a thing called love? If so, join fellow love-believers and Darkness fans at Good Records today for one of just six listening parties going on for this album around the country. You might even win a guitar signed by the lead singer and lead guitarist!
Stalley at Trees
Stalley is a rapper from Ohio, which is a land not exactly known for its hip-hop prowess. But, hey, this guy's still signed to Maybach Music, and that's Rick Ross' label. That's got to count for something, right? I mean, Rick Ross is, after all, the Boss. (Well, the one not named Springsteen).
The Black Dotz, Volt Revolt and Bad Design at Dan's Silverleaf
Whenever three good things happen at the same time, I call it a “triple threat,” and this show might be the most threatening set of triplets ever.
Daniel Hart and Radiant at City Tavern
Though not a member of the famous wrestling family the Harts, Daniel Hart remains a talented chap, albeit in a more violin-related realm.
Civil Twilight at the Kessler Theater
“Civil Twilight” is a South African band that loves you very, very much. In an emotional sort of way. You can tell by the grandiose ballads and the falsetto singing, and also by the fact that they are sad all of the time. Maybe you should cheer them up by going to the show? Bring flowers.
12th Planet and Craze at Lizard Lounge
If you like turntablism and dubstep, the Lizard Lounge is the place to be on Saturday, what with forerunners from each of these EDM-based genres joining forces at this Red Bull-backed show. Don't worry if the club kids look weird. They're probably not on drugs.
Breaking Bad Watching Party at Sundown
Somewhere in these past few years, Breaking Bad has become the show that everyone watches, so only hip Breaking Bad fans are allowed at this viewing party, where you can watch the show on a big screen surrounded by other people, who will also be watching the show. (Is it obvious that I've never seen an episode of Breaking Bad?)
25th Annual Lions Club Balloon Festival and Fair
Hot air balloons are officially the coolest way to travel, according to the new book I'm writing titled I'm Not Full of Hot Air: Balloons Are Awesome and Other Meaningful Observations. So a festival full of hot air balloons is a great way to spend an afternoon, especially if you are in one. I guess it's cool to watch them, too. But, if you get on one, maybe a trained professional will let you throw bags of sand? Dreams can come true.