Run To The Jungle.

Recently, an Australian man spent 130 hours getting 203 Simpsons characters tattooed on his back. The mega-fan of the show hopes the endeavor will prove enough to land him in the Guinness Book of World Records. Either way, he says the whole thing cost him somewhere in the neighborhood of $12,000.

Sounds like a good investment to us! But you don't have to cover yourself head-to-toe in ink this weekend to have a good time.

In fact, here's at least a couple dozen ways to spend your weekend that will cost you way less time and money than working on a back piece.

For the most part, they'll hurt a lot less, too. — Cory Graves

RL Grime at South Side Music Hall (Sold Out)
At RL Grime's last time performing at one of the South Side venues, he shared an insanely stacked Jambalaya Festival bill in the Ballroom with Big Boi and members of Odd Future, but that didn't stop him from stealing the show. Imagine every popular hip-hop song from the last two years; the DJ/producer probably worked it into his hour-long trap set at that show. This strategy paid dividends, of course, turning the show into an all-out party and starting the crowdsurfing that that would continue throughout the rest of the night. — Mikel Galicia

Tokimonsta at Trees
About five years back, classically-trained pianist Jennifer Lee turned her back on Bach and began producing off-kilter hip-hop tunes. These days, the Los Angeles-based producer's running in circles with Flying Lotus, the first female in his Brainfeeder crew. Tonight, she'll be given charge of the official RL Grime after-party. — CG

Tech N9ne at Gas Monkey Live
Thanks to his ability to thrive in niche circles, Tech N9ne has become one of hip-hop's brightest success stories. So it's no surprise that, as the rapper rolls through Gas Monkey Live night, the venue will be packed with both his loyal — and appropriately batshit crazy — supporters, known as Technicians, but with The Insane Clown Posse's diehard fans, known as Juggalos, as well. Some backstory: ICP has supported Tech N9ne for years now, and, in turn, he's become a staple at group's annual The Gathering of the Juggalos shows. It's a little weird — and especially so once you consider that Tech N9ne's rapping skills are legitimately on par with the national scenes' best, thanks to a rapid-fire flow that's often compared to those of Busta Rhymes and Twista. But the support is impressive all the same. — MG

X-Men at Inwood Theatre
Collectively the seven X-Men films have grossed over $3 billion at the box office, and this Bryan Singer-helmed affair from 2000 was the movie that launched the series. Considering the fact that, at its core, discrimination is one of the series' biggest themes, perhaps it's time we all went back and re-watched some of these. — CG

Bad Sports, Radioactivity, The Phuss, PVC Street Gang at Three Links
Looks like it's going to be a busy night for drummer Gregory Rutherford and bassist/guitarist Daniel Fried tonight, as the twosome are members Bad Sports and Radioactivity. Just remember: Bad Sports is the garage rock outfit fronted by OBN IIIs mastermind Orville Neeley, and Radioactivity is the garage rock outfit headed up by Jeff Burke and Mark Ryan of the Marked Men. Dallas rabble-rousers The Phuss and PVC Street Gang open this incredibly stacked, practically all-local bill. — CG

Red Animal at Double Wide
With half its members living out of state, Red Animal War has basically just played one show a year, generally around the holidays, since 2006. Thus, for one night only (until next Christmas, anyway), the Dallas post-hardcore outfit will reunite once again. Things of Earth and Heater open. — CG

Deepthroat, Unmarked Graves, She Banshee, Felt & Fur at Hailey's Club
The acts at the top of this bill each boast front-persons known for pulling out all the stops whenever they're onstage. Both have performed more than a few shows in their underwear, too. Are you not entertained? — CG

Charlie Murphy at Arlington Improv
If there was a second breakout star from Chappelle's Show, it was Eddie Murphy's comedian brother Charlie, who served as an actor in many of the series' most memorable sketches, including a handful of sketches in which he shared the tales of some of his '80s exploits with his more-famous kin. You've no doubt heard this sketch's long-standing catchphrase, “I'm Rick James, bitch!” countless times. — Pete Freedman

Bobcat Goldthwait at Hyena's (Dallas)
Known mostly for the twitchy, yelling, borderline insane character he'd put on for his '80s comedy sets — one not far off from the animal-like guy he played in the Police Academy movies — Goldthwait has changed quite a bit since retiring from stand-up in 2005. These days at his sporadic stand-up appearances he tells jokes with a more conventional, far less frightening delivery. — CG

Frontier Ruckus at Dada
Detroit's Frontier Ruckus has always come off like a bunch of city kids making country music. With it's latest album, though, the boys have throttled back some on the twang, while piling on more horns and layers of cinematic indie-pop elements. — CG

Shag Times at Beauty Bar (Free)
For the holiday edition of his weekly, Friday night dance parties, Beauty Bar resident DJ Red Eye will be joined by Dr. Dunks, who is better known as half of New York house duo Rub-N-Tug. — CG

Blade Runner at Texas Theatre
If you've yet to see this Harrison Ford-led adaptation of Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep yet, you've only got a short while longer before its meaning totally shifts. The '80s-made film which depicts the futuristic dystopian society of America circa 2019 is going to seem pretty silly four years from now when things look nothing like they do in the cult classic. Of course it'll be all the more chilling if it was right on the money all along. — CG

Lollie Bombs Presents: All Wrapped Up at Pocket Sandwhich Theatre
The local burlesque troupe will unwrap some proverbial goodies this weekend during its holiday-themed shows. — CG

Dead Flowers, Banditos, The Bad Lovers, Moon Waves at The Prophet Bar
For a while there, April's Big Folkin' Fest was a pretty tame affair. Then came a breaking point when The Banditos, based out of Nashville, stormed the small Prophet Bar stage, packing it with their five-member group. And, even with limited space, the group treated it like a jam session, breaking into a furious dance and foot-stomping with every extended riff and solo. Lead singer Mary Richardson tied it all together with her shouting vocals and hair-swirling movements, causing the crowd to join in on their energetic shindig. Attribute it to the stellar performance of Banditos or to the rising levels of beer per capita in the crowd, but, from then out, the energy of the Big Folkin' Festival was cranked to an appropriate level. Fellow BFF alumni Dead Flowers and Moon Waves along with Austin's Bad Lovers share this bill. — Scott Mitchell

Daps, Hugs & Mugs at Epocha
This neighborhood Christmas gathering at Deep Ellum streetwear shop Epocha has all the usual trappings. Ugly Christmas sweaters? Check. Claymation movies? Check. Eggnog, hot chocolate and other sweets? Triple check. — CG

Works of Heart at 333 First Ave.
Earlier this week, Chicago-based mens clothiers, Trunk Club, purchased the building at 333 First Avenue, where they say they plan on moving a large office. In the meantime, employees at Fossil are holding a silent auction in the space this weekend, featuring artworks and handcrafted jewelry they've created, and the whole thing's benefitting the Thriving Minds after school program. — CG

Miss Marcy & Her Texas SugarDaddies at Twilite Lounge (Free)
The Twilite Lounge presents Miss Marcy and her Texas SugarDaddies for a night filled of contemporary jazz and a taste of what the 20's and 30's could have sounded like. The best part is that Marcy is also an alumnus of the University of North Texas. Go Mean Green. — Ashley Gongora

MythBusters at Verizon Theatre
Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage from Discovery Channel's MythBusters series will be at Verizon this evening, conducting live experiments and telling behind-the-scenes tales from their show. We also hear there will be lots of audience participation — so you might want to start dusting off that old beret just in case. — CG

Old 97's at Majestic Theatre
What a year 1994 was for North Texas music. That's the year, of course, when the Toadies' released Rubberneck (a point that's been more than driven home already this year), but it was also the year Pantera put out Far Beyond Driven and the year when the Old 97's released its debut, Hitchhike to Rhome. Really: Who would have thought we'd still be talking about those albums 20 years later? And yet here we are. And while the Toadies already reissued its own seminal LP and performed that sucker from front to back at a handful of local shows this year — most notably at its Dia de los Toadies festival — the Old 97's (who also performed at Dia) will pay some homage to its 20-year-old debut as well. Not only did the band reissue that sucker as part of a two-CD/LP packaged loaded up with outtakes and demos last month, but tonight the band will run through the album in full, followed by a second set of the band's greatest hits. — CG

KXT Holiday Concert at The Prophet Bar
For the past couple years, the members of modern soul outfit Jungle kept their names and identities under wraps on the way to becoming one of the most popular new bands in England. More recently, the British press has been referring to the band by their god-given names. And you will be able to see their faces while they're performing at KXT's holiday show this evening, not that they're necessarily too worried about it. It's like they recently told NME: “You'll probably be able see our faces, but there are bigger things to look at. You don't wanna look at our ugly mugs anyway!” Touche. — CG

Skuzzmas Fest at Texas Theatre
There will be exactly zero Christmas songs played at this sort of anti-holiday holiday party. You can count on that much. You will get plenty of skuzz and musical weirdness, though. At the top of this bill is The Black Dotz, whose new EP basically sounds like nothing else they've ever done. Like at all. This time around the band's sold its soul (punk) to the Devil in return for a newfound, post-punk groove. You better believe it's skuzzy. George Quartz, iill, Little Beards, Mannequins With Kill Appeal and Kitbashes are some of the evening's other scheduled performers. — CG

Heart Byrne at Three Links
This ain't no party. It ain't no disco. It is an Austin-based Talking Heads tribute, though. This must be the place. — CG

Bar Humbug at Red Light Lounge
While the organizers of this curmudgeonly-titled dance party like to think of themselves as misanthropes, they're actually full of more spirit than they realize. I mean, would actual Scrooges fill themselves full of spiked eggnog, participate in decorative beard competitions or donate clothing, food and toys to those less fortunate? No, probably not. — CG

Gene Farris at It'll Do Club
Like just about every DJ that rolls through It'll Do on any given Saturday, Chicago house DJ Gene Farris was really big on the underground '90s party circuit. And once again, It'll Do resident DJ Red Eye will get the party started. — CG

“The Cat Show” at Mighty Fine Arts
As you might have gathered, this art show features a whole bunch of cat paintings from the likes of Andy Don Emmons, Bruce Lee Webb, Rosemary Meza-DesPlas, Clay Stinnett, Jason Cohen, Chaitra Linehan, Matt Bagley, Sharon Neel-Bagley, Teresa Megahan, Sara Cardona, Ray-Mel Cornelius, Steve Cruz, Teresa Gomez-Martorell, Bruce Schiefelbein, Brian Jones and Brian Scott. The exhibition runs through January 11, but organizers say they're expecting a “special guest” to drop by the gallery around 9 p.m. on Saturday night. — CG

White Trash Christmas Party at Truck Yard
Lower Greenville's Truck Yard is doing its part to keep patrons warm during the winter with the debut of its new hot drinks menu. The two new drinks — Bishop Punch and Ancho Cocoa — are made with enough alcohol to warm you from the inside out for $6 apiece. You can also head to the Truck Yard this Saturday night for the White Trash Christmas Party to celebrate with Dwarf Santa from 8 to 10 p.m., and with the requisite ugly Christmas sweater contest running from 9 to 11 p.m. — Porttia Portis

White Rock Holiday Market at Green Spot Market
If you're anything like me, your Saturday mornings are precious to you. They're there for a reason — to recover from the night before — and for the most part they're best spent curled up in bed. Or so I've always felt. But the expansion of pop-up independent local markets around town are making lazy Saturday mornings less and less of a given these days. Getting your pick of some of the freshest goods available from local farmers and artisan vendors? Yeah, that more than merits an earlier out-of-bed time. And the White Rock Local Market, where everything is locally grown and produced? It might be the best of the bunch. — PP

Fleetwood Mac at American Airlines Center
Fleetwood Mac's more popular than ever, as evidenced by the fact that everyone from Midlake to Haim have put out critically acclaimed records in recent years that were heavily influenced by the '70s soft-rockers. Better yet, the band not only helped invent laser tag, sort of, but the whole thing took place right here in Dallas. True story. — CG

Demitri Martin at House of Blues
Showcasing his direct comedy lineage from the great Steven Wright, Demetri Martin's one-liners and deadpan wit make for a powerful set full of his adored, witty banter and acoustic strummings. “Sometimes, I feel like I'm being watched,” Martin sing-spoke during his last Dallas appearance. “Then I remembered my show got cancelled three years ago. Too real.” — H. Drew Blackburn

Dallas Marathon at White Rock Lake
The annual Dallas Marathon — formerly the White Rock Marathon — is a Top 10 U.S. marathon, and serves as a Boston Marathon qualifier. We reckon if you're running the thing, you've probably had this date circled for several months now. The rest of you, though, might want to avoid, well, most of East Dallas like the plague today. — CG

Dallas Cowboys vs Philadelphia Eagles Watching Party at Granada Theater
The 9-4 Cowboys and 9-4 Eagles are tied atop the NFC East, both needing a win in order to help secure a playoff berth. In the Cowboys' case, the win's even more important, considering the Eagles own the tiebreaker. Needless to say, it's probably the biggest game the 'boys have played in years. That is to say it's the kind of game you'll want to be watching on the biggest possible screen. — CG

Snot at Trees
Like a lot of 20-year-old bands this year, Snot's playing 1997's Get Some from front to back on this tour. He Is Legend, Thira and Lydia Can't Breathe open. — CG

Madison King at Kessler Theater
It's been a breakout year for Dallas' Madison King, who released her most polished effort to date back in April, and followed that up by hitting the road with the Old 97's and co-writing songs with Rhett Miller. And tonight, the no-fucks-given local country star will add her first-ever headlining slot at the Kessler to her list of the year's accomplishments. Troy Cartwright and The Family Piano open. — CG

Triggers Toys Fantasy Bar Draft at Henry's Majestic
Here's the deal: two weeks ago a group of the region's best bartenders gathered to draft themselves into fantasy teams. The newly formed “bars” then created a name , concept, branding and three themed cocktails for a pop-up bar. Tonight — and tonight only — these five fantasy bars will exist solely to compete for your favor — and to raise money to buy toys for sick children who'll be stuck in hospitals this Christmas. That's what we in the biz refer to as a win-win. — CG

Kwanzaa Fest 2014 at Fair Park Automobile Building (Free)
You saw right, this long-running, John Wiley Price-presented event is free. There's a catch, though: If you want to watch performers like Faith Evans, Johnny Gill, Leela James and Estelle doing their thing on the house, you'll have to “enter” here to cop your free tickets. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.


















































No more articles