Be In The Right Place At The Right Time.

Left to our own devices, we often make bad decisions. Take this guy, for instance, who thought it was a good idea to jump into a tub filled with 1,250 bottles of hot sauce.

Not wise. Don’t put your whole week in jeopardy, let us guide the way. The following is a list of several places you can go this week and be guaranteed to not end up submerged in a tub of peppers writhing in pain.

Monday (8.29)
The Shondes at Dan’s Silverleaf
Light me up.

Hopped Up Cinema: Escape From New York at Alamo Drafthouse (Richardson)
Breaking out is impossible. Breaking in is insane.

Tuesday (8.30)
WWE Smackdown at American Airlines Center
Get ready to rumble.

FXXXXY at Off the Record
The Cartel Shawty listening party.

Wednesday (8.31)
An Evening With Werner Herzog at Winspear Opera House
This is a gift from Miss Chocolate!

Literal Cats at RBC
A stand-up comedy showcase.

Cory Morrow and Dalton Domino at Capital Bar
Fight the good fight.

Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats at Trees
Wait for blood.

Thursday (9.1)
Thirsty Thursday at Dr Pepper Ballpark
Win a life-sized Grubes bobblehead at this Roughriders game.

Black Pussy at The Rail Club
Why do you taste so good?

Lokal 1 at Dada
With Dezi 5, Rat Rios, 88 Killa and Christy Ray.

Friday (9.2)
Breaking Away Social Ride at Local Hub
With after-party at Texas Theatre.

OmniFest at Reverchon Park
Or will it?

Baroness, Pallbearer at Granada Theater
March to the sea.

Trump’d: The Musical at Dallas Comedy House
Make musicals great again.

Aaron Aryanpur at Hyena’s (Plano)
The best-selling local comic.

Danny Diamonds at Dan’s Silverleaf
With Skagg Philips, Kim Nall & the Fringe.

Saturday (9.3)
The Invasion Car Show on Elm Street in Deep Ellum
With Reverend Horton Heat after-party at Trees.

Richard Cheese at House of Blues
Lounge against the machine.

Bedford Blues & BBQ Festival
With Trombone Shorty.

The Buck Pets at Kessler Theater
Living is the biggest thing.

No Pants Party at Truckyard
Strip down.

Free Day of Yoga (Various)

Com Truise at Shipping and Receiving
Show me the money.

Distant Worlds at Meyerson Symphony Center
The music of Final Fantasy.

Sunday (9.4)
Bedford Blues & BBQ Festival
With Dr. John.

Dallas Zine Party at CentralTrak
The other CT.

Labor of Love at Deep Ellum Brewing Co.
Their annual homebrew competition.

Reimagine Crowdus in Deep Ellum
Kicking off a month of turning the strip of Crowdus between Main and Elm into a city park.

Labor Day Weenie Roast at The Church
Cook out

Brewfest Pre-Party at The Rustic
AKA the Dallas release party for Martin House’s local music-loving Tip Jar beer.

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