Shoot On Down to Big Bang.
One Washington woman has been making news of late after vowing to eat nothing but dog and cat food for 30 days.
Thing is, far as we can tell, the only purpose behind her ambitious mission was the fact that she was too lazy to make herself a people snack one day.
We'd hate for you to resort to doing anything as crappy as consuming pet food tonight just because you're running low on free time or energy. Don't waste another second planning out where you'll spend your evening; peep the list we've prepared below and save plenty of time for burgers and fries. — Cory Graves
Queen + Adam Lambert at American Airlines Center
The combination of surviving Queen members (read: guitarist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor) and one-time American Idol contestant Adam Lambert is a bit strange, sure. And Lambert is certainly no Freddie Mercury — even though he admits as much. Still, the unlikely pairing has been managing to keep the once-spectacular band's legacy alive. And, for what it's worth, reviews of earlier stops on this tour have called the spectacle that is Queen + Adam Lambert's current tour surprisingly palatable. So there you go. — Ashley Gongora
Dallas Observer Comedy Crawl in Deep Ellum
Unlike the handful of other comedy events around town this weekend, this event is one that doesn't require you purchase tickets or a minimum amount of drinks — or even to hang around in the same venue all night, for that matter. Paul Varghese and friends will start the night out at the Three Links at 8 p.m. and then move things to Twilite Lounge and then The Green Room from there, performing short sets at each stop along the way. — CG
Johnnyswim at Cambridge Room
This power couple gives us hope when it comes to love. To be so intimately close in every aspect of life is… wow, we don't even know if we could do it. The music that comes out of Johnnyswim reflects the strength and intimacy behind the duo, and is almost whimsical and fairy-tale-esque. Not that we're complaining. See real-life love in the form of music tonight at the Cambridge Room. — Chrissi Chetwood
Barefoot at the Belmont: Jeremy Messersmith, Quiet Company at Belmont Hotel (Sold Out)
Hey, another sold-out Barefoot at the Belmont show! This time around, Jeremy Messersmith and Quite Company are performing. For the next date, which comes on July 24th, Wild Cub and Chambers will perform. Tickets for that show went on sale yesterday, so you might want to grab them, like, now. Every Barefoot at the Belmont this summer has sold out so far. — AG
John Corabi at Trees
You may remember Corabi from his stint in Motely Crue, a band he fronted from 1992, following Vince Neil's exile, to 1997 when he was replaced by Neil once more. Or maybe you don't? Whatever. The band's self-titled 1994 album with Corabi on lead vocals only sold like 17 copies. Maybe that's why he'll be doing the solo acoustic thing at Trees tonight while the rest of the Crue will pack out Gexa next Wednesday. — CG
Guitar Gods Tour 2014 at House of Blues
One of the most technically proficient guitarists around, Swedish virtuoso Yngwie Malmsteen can still shred. So, the way we see it, you've got two options: You can either stay home and try to win the “Yngwie Malmsteen” award by hitting at least 1,000 notes in a row on Guitar Hero II, or you can head out to the House of Blues and catch the real thing. The choice is yours. If you choose the latter, you'll also be privy to sets from Gary Hoey and Bumblefoot. — Stephen Young
Asian Film Festival of Dallas at Angelika Film Center
If you've had your head up your ass the last few years, you've probably missed the Asian Film Festival of Dallas, the go-to festival for all of your cinematic kick-to-the-face fix. So pull your head out and move on over to the Angelika for it: There are 39 feature films, 30 short films and nine countries represented. There will also be a lot of filmmakers in attendance, which is always fun. To find out what's playing and where the parties are going to be held out, head over to Asian Film Festival's official site. — Chase Whale
Jessimae Peluso and Carly Aquilino at Addison Improv
These two comedian commentators on MTV's Girl Code will be in the area all weekend long, performing shows and telling jokes, some of which won't be about their vaginas. — AG
Big Bang One-Year Anniversary at The Travis
It's hard to believe it's been a whole year since our Pop That! pal DJ Sober moved his long-running weekly DJ night to the basement of The Travis where it's just as popular as ever. Joining Sobes and regular host Picnictyme at this special edition of Big Band will be Nicole from Nina Sky. Should be a special one. — CG
The Life and Death Tour at Sons of Hermann Hall
Here, eight hardcore bands have the audacity to perform on the same bill and the good sense not refer to this lineup as a “festival.” New York's hardcore flag-bearers Backtrack will top a bill that also sees performances from Harms Way, Expire, Bitter End, Suburban Scum, Downpresser, Iron Mind and Will to Die — CG
Je t'aime Je t'aime at Texas Theatre
This 1968 French sci-fi film portrays one man's life — or what's left of it — following a failed suicide attempt, and his selection to participate in a time machine experiment, which has previously only been used on mice. The problem? The time machine causes his past to reoccur in a random order. If you bring your ticket stub to The Wild Detectives agter the show, you can get $2 off coffee or a glass of wine. — AG
A Hard Day's Night at Angelika Film Center
Still hot of its Criterion Collection Blu-ray release, The Beatles' A Hard Day's Night is screening at the Angelika Film Center for its 50th anniversary. The Angelika promises giveaways at all screenings, including the chance to win a commemorative poster from the film. Sounds like an Awesome Day's Night to me. — CW
To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.