You Will Rock You.

For a long while, we've know than sodas aren't good for us. But Even with all the terrible shit scientists have claimed high fructose corn syrup does to our bodies — not to mention what we've personally seen it do to our own waistlines — it's hard to lay off.

I mean, why does it have to taste so great?

Well, turns out, the corn syrup in most sodas is the least of our worries. According to new research, one common chemical found in brown sodas like Pepsi causes cancer.

Welp. Nice knowing you.

Since we're all doomed anyway, might as well enjoy our remaining days as much as possible.

Lettuce at Granada Theater
Eric Krasno's eight-piece, Brooklyn-based collective has been together for 22 years. Still, the band's longevity hasn't necessarily earned it any more respect. At the McDowell Mountain Music Festival this past weekend, Lettuce was hardly noticed next to acts like STS9 and Gramatik. Admittedly, their music is more of something that you give a listen to half-heartedly, much like really “jazzy” elevator music. Let's see if the audience will be more captivated at tonight's performance. — Porschia Paxton

Carl Hoffman at Horchow Auditorium
Carl Hoffman is an award-winning journalist and contributing writer of National Geographic Traveler, which has taken him to over 70 countries. Think a real-life Indiana Jones without the familiar hat and whip. Anyway, at this appearance, he'll be giving a lecture on the infamous disappearance of a young Michael Rockefeller, who was — and still is, according to some — thought to have been eaten by natives while traveling 50-plus years ago. Centered around his newly released Savage Harvest book, this DMA lecture can be be expected to provide audiences with a chilling factual tale of cannibalism that should be frighteningly felt to the bones. — PP

Local Education No. 7 at Three Links
For a couple months now, area concert promotions entity King Camel has been hosting these all-local bills at Three Links, and, to this point, they've provided a good opportunity to catch newer local acts that don't always get the shine that some more well-established acts in town tend to receive. So it's not all that unusual to see acts like The Chloes and Party Static performing tonight. On the other hand, one-time local darlings Matthew and the Arrogant Sea — who were on the brink of breaking through nationally back in 2008 — is a bit of a different story. These days, after burning a ton of bridges in the band's hometown of Denton a few years ago and all but dropping of the face of the earth for a long while, frontman Matthew Gray is trying to make another go at it, this time with a completely new backing band. — Cory Graves

Band of Heathens at Dan's Silverleaf
At first glance, you really wouldn't give this one a second look. On paper and on record, the Band of Heathens appear so boring, if competent, that seeing them live doesn't seem like a pressing need. Thing is, this group is quite good in person. On stage, this group morphs into something more closely resembling a jam band. If you like that sort of thing but are so over Widespread, this one might be worth checking out. — Stephen Young

Burnt Ones at The Where House
While Bay Area “Glitter Death” quartet Burnt Ones are perhaps most well-known for their releases on San Francisco's Burger Records, the band's just-released third LP, Gift, was released last week via Castle Face. While the disc's electronic beats and guitar sounds can be a bit drowning, it never stops the supreme talent of frontman Mark Tester from shining through. Expect the band to mix in plenty of new material alongside its bouts of experimentation at this show. Vacaions and The Fibs open. — PP

Robert Ellis and Wild Child at Cambridge Room
Houston's Robert Ellis and Austin's Wild Child are poised to break out this year with their respective brands of rugged country-folk and precious chamber-folk. Ellis, in particular, has received a good bump in national press in recent months, which is to say that catching these two acts before they move on to even bigger stages is probably a good idea. — CG

Craft Night at AllGood Cafe
Just in time for Easter, the gals of AllGood will drop some serious egg-decorating knowledge at their weekly Craft Night. As always, they ask that you bring $2 to help pay for supplies, and bottles of wine will be half-off with the purchase of an entree. — CG

Queen Sing-a-Long at Alamo Drafthouse
Ever since Freddie Mercury's death in 1991, the rest of his Queen bandmates have attempted, mostly in vain, to replace the flamboyant showman. In the last decade, they've given it a go with Bad Company frontman Paul Rodgers, and, more recently, they've begun touring with former American Idol contestant Adam Lambert out front. That incarnation, we should point out, will make a stop at the American Airlines Center later this summer. But, honestly, would you rather watch a mascara-wearing, mustache-less pop star doing his best Mercury impression or sing out Queen's lyrics on your own alongside 100 of your soused up peers, as you can at this affair? We choose the latter. — CG

Burlesque: Strip, Strip Hooray! at House of Blues
The preeminent burlesque performer in the world — and spearhead of the art form's most recent renaissance — Dita Von Teese will perform the second of her two-night run in Dallas tonight. Before you ask: Yes, she will be reviving the Swarovski Martini Glass act for this show, although, for this greatest hits performance, she'll bring out what she calls her “ultimate, most decadent, and dazzling martini glass ever!” — CG

The Slackers, Bandulus, Rude King and Fat By The Gallon at Trees
Are Hellcat Records' New York City-based, 1991-formed The Slackers a really late Second Wave ska band or just a really early Third Wave ska band? Either way, here they are coming to town, once again reminding us that a Fourth Wave is imminent. So? Practicing skanking again and learn to deal with it, I suppose. — Pete Freedman

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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