Kick Off John Waters Week At The Texas Theatre.

It's a busy time of year for American soccer fans: MLS is in full flight, Clint Dempsey just got transferred from Tottenham to Seattle and, perhaps best of all, the English Premier League's TV rights are moving from FOX to the NBC family of networks when the new season starts in August.

Why is this such good news? Well, most importantly, it means more EPL on TV in the U.S. Matches will be broadcast primarily on NBC Sports Network, but will occasionally appear on their sister stations NBC, MSNBC and CNBC, too. Any games not on TV will be available online on NBC Sports Extra.

It's great news, sure, but it's not the reason we're bringing up soccer. Really that whole thing was just an excuse to introduce you to these videos of Jason Sudeikis playing Tottenham Hotspur's new American manager, Coach Lasso.

Okay, now that the hilarity's out of the way, back to your regularly scheduled programming, your Tuesday goings on around town. You'll find plenty of those below.

Cafeteria Dance Fever and Mythological Horses at Rubber Gloves
Cafeteria Dance Fever, which sounds like a not altogether unpleasant condition you might have caught in middle school, brings its garage — but not just garage — rock act to Rubber Gloves for what promises to be a “sweaty guy-girl dance party.” On their Danceology album the band runs through 24 tracks in 30 minutes, but somehow finds time to fit plenty of teen angst and slick punk nods throughout. Mythological Horses — which we'd assume are a band of Pegasuses or Unicorns of some sort — opens. —Stephen Young

Tuesday Night Trash: Multiple Maniacs at Texas Theatre
A John Waters-heavy week at the Texas Theatre begins with this screening of his second ever feature film, which finds his frequent muse Divine portraying a woman hell bent on ridding Baltimore of white-bread suburbanites. Expect a few laughs and lots and lots of blood from the gross-out camp classic. The Waters love continues with Thursday and Friday screenings of Polyester and a Friday night theme party. —SY

Bukkake Moms, Hank. Bitch Teeth, The Fatty Acids at Macaroni Island
Macaroni Island is like Clark Kent. By day, it's a dwelling space, a home. By night, it's venue. Usually, the shows have a touring band. Check out locals Bukkake Moms and Bitch Teeth on a bill that also includes Illinois band Hank., and Milwaukee's The Fatty Acids. Carpool tonight if possible and bring donations for the touring bands, but don't Google the word “bukkake” if you don't know what it means, though. —H. Drew Blackburn

The Showdown with Blake Ward at Sundown
The theme may vary from week-to-week (depending on what movie they're showing on the upstairs patio, what new blockbuster album came out that day, or who is playing next door at the Granada) but the consistency of Ward's batch of indie-dance tunes and weekly turnout remains ever-steady. The $3 beer, $4 Infusions, and $4 Brisket Tacos the bar serves up all night long are just an added bonus. —Cory Graves

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