Bang Your Head at the Prophet Bar.

In news that will surely lead to you to reconsider your one-click purchase settings, Amazon has recently starting selling fine art. And by fine art, we don't mean special numbered lithographs of that dogs playing poker painting. Rather, we mean things like this Monet, which is available for just under $1.5 million (with free shipping, of course).

The best parts of this whole enterprise — by far, really — are the intrepid customer reviews for the items, which include gems such as: “THIS IS THE REAL THING, BEWARE OF 'MANET' RIPOFFS,” and “BUYER BEWARE: THIS ITEM IS IN FRENCH,” among many others.

Now that you've checked just how easy it is to add an $1.45 million item to your cart, thank your lucky stars your cat didn't click “complete purchase” for you. Then check out what's going down around the Metroplex tonight.

Cody ChestnuTT and Larry g(ee) at The Belmont (Sold Out)
Cody ChestnuTT is the vocalist featured on The Roots' classic 2002 track “The Seed 2.0,” which is pretty much all you need to know about him. I mean, really, that one song alone has done enough for the human race. So head out tonight and reward him with your hard-earned money — assuming you got your ticket before this KXT-sponsored sucker sold out. Local soul favorite Larry g(EE) opens. — Stephen Young

Comedy Circus at the Addison Improv
If you like your comedy served up with healthy sides of science and magic, this one's for you. It's got “weirdo” comedy from David Jessup and Clint Worth, sideshow antics and fire-eating from Christopher Lyle, and magic and mentalism from Mike Williams. Something for everyone? Not exactly. Something for a sizeable minority of the population? For sure. — SY

Crystal Bowersox at Kessler Theater
If you're a big fan of the super long-running show American Idol, you'll recognize this soulful singer from the 2010 season. If you're like the other half of the country and despise the show, don't necessarily let that deter you: Crystal Bowersox brings more emotion and sincerity into her music than many of her peers. — Jessica Petrocchi

Eyes Wings & Many Other Things, Technicolor Hearts, Frauen and Spacebeach at Amsterdam Bar
Local masters of atmosphere Eyes Wings and Many Other Things headline a free show at the Amsterdam Bar featuring Austin psych-pop act Technicolor Hearts, who claim that they are an “art project for lovers, a discourse between friends, an interactive expression of memories, happiness and a celebration of life.” Hey, it's good for a band to have ambitions, right?
Update: This show is actually on Saturday. Our bad. — SY

Brisk Bodega Dallas at The Travis
Tonight, DJ Sober and Picnictyme's regular Thursday Big Bang residency gets taken over by Brisk and Noisey. What does that mean for you? In addition to the always quality tunes, you'll also be able to enjoy complimentary Brisk cocktails throughout the night. That's right: The company known for their tasty iced teas and juices has decided to make their way into the adult beverage scene. Only 14 cities are lucky enough to get the Brisk Bodega party treatment this summer, and Dallas is one of them. — JP

Party in the Park at Ferris Plaza Park
It's hot outside. There's no denying that. But when you're with friends and family, enjoying live music and ice cold beverages of your choice, who cares about the heat? That's the idea, at least, behind Downtown Dallas, Inc.'s Party in the Park series, which kicks off again this evening. Tonight and every Thursday for the next few weeks, they'll be hosting happy hours in various public parks. — JP

Every Time I Die, Chelsea Grin, Veil Of Maya, Terror, Iwrestledabearonce and More at the Prophet Bar
This one, practically by default, is for the kids. Not necessarily because of the material — various incarnations of “heavy” — but because of its 2 p.m. start time. Then again, that's kind of just what happens when a bill features 12 bands. The obvious highlights here are Buffalo metal favorites Every Time I Die, SoCal punk heroes Terror and metalcore outfit Iwrestledabearonce, whose name is always fun to see on a bill. Consider this the Warped Tour for the kids who beat up the kids who go to Warped Tour. — Pete Freedman

Black Lyte Party with Track Meet at The Turn Up at Beauty Bar
Ynfynyt Scroll's weekly Thursday night series at Beauty Bar is new, but tonight's affair has a decidedly classic feel as the host of this party welcomes in his Track Meet collaborators Shooknite and AiRDJ for a black light-infused bash. Do your laundry before heading to this one. — PF

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