Just Keep Livin'.
When it comes to sex, timing is everything. According to researchers, sex that lasts less than two minutes is considered by most everyone to be too short, while sessions lasting 30 minutes or more are considered far too long.
Good thing, because Rachel Hills' recently-published book The Sex Myth says most of us finish between 5.7 and 7.5 minutes. Not covered in the book, though, is what to do with the other 23 hours and 53 minutes of the day we're not, to borrow a phrase from Pope Francis, “boning each other's brains out.”
Fortunately, unlike sex, that's something we happen to know a great deal about. — Cory Graves
And So I Watch You From Afar at Dada
The brutally loud, challenging squeals of ASIWYFA's ultra-heavy riffage are sort that simply must be experienced live to fully appreciate. As good as their recorded works are, they just really don't do these Irish rockers justice. That is to say their brand of blistering tuneage is best served when the amps are cranked to 11. Mylets and Blis open. — CG
The Resurrection of Jake the Snake at The Magnolia
You might know Aurelian Smith Jr. from his days wrestling as Jake “The Snake” Roberts on WWE in the '80s and early '90s. He was famously on the receiving end of the first “Austin 3:16” jab. He's also the subject of this new documentary, which chronicles the loss of his family and wealth due to his quote-unquote reckless lifestyle and subsequent 180 to get them both back. — Evan Henry
Sianvar at Sons of Hermann Hall
We'll save some time here by skipping the adjectives and simply letting you know Sianvar is dudes from Dance Gavin Dance, A Lot Like Birds, Hail the Suns and Stolas. Sounds pretty super. Idlehands, Strawberry Girls and Movements open. — CG
Langhorne Slim at The Loft
After ending a long-term relationship, New York folkie Langhorne Slim hit the road non-stop with his band The Law, tightening up along the way and crafting his most rollicking album to date. The Wild Reeds opens. — CG
Computer Music Conference at Rubber Gloves
Since 1974, computer-based musicians from around the world have gathered annually to network and perform their experimental music stuffs. As you might have gathered by now, the conference takes place in Denton this year, for the next three days. Seating for non-conference registrants is limited. — CG
The Ultimate Willy Wonka Party at Alamo Drafthouse
This “Ultimate Willy Wonka Party” definitely comes with party favors; After watching the original film from 1971, two of the original child actors — Veruca Salt, who everyone remembers as the snotty girl who was deemed by Wonka's golden geese to be a bad egg, and the television obsessed Mike TeeVee — will be in attendance. They will do a Q&A after the show, and every audience member will receive a signed poster. Bubbles and candy will also be heavily involved in the festivities. —Jordyn Walters
A Night to Just Keep Livin' w/ Matthew McConaughey at Globe Life Park (Sold Out)
Alright, alright, alright, who wants to grab dinner and a selfie with Matt McConaughey? A cool $500 per couple is all it takes. It's actually not as big of a rip-off as it might seem; the cash goes to Matt's JKL foundation, and you'll get to go to the Rangers game for free. — CG
To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.