Jesus Take the Wheel.

Thirteen years ago this past week, the last episode of Friends aired. To mark the anniversary, an internet hoaxer made a fake poster for an upcoming eleventh season of the show, promising that all six original cast members had signed on for a 2018 season.

Sorry if you got your hopes up, but that will not be happening. It goes to show why you shouldn’t take advice from trolls who don’t even know how to spell David Schwimmer’s name correctly, and why should always get the heads up on things coming down the pike from trusted sources like this one.

Monday (5.8)
Smile, Smile Again at Ochre House
Pay-what-you-can night.

Mitski at Dada
Your best American girl.

The xx at South Side Ballroom (Sold Out)
I dare you.

A Prairie Home Companion at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
Radio like you’ve never seen it before.

Tuesday (5.9)
Tim Kasher at Double Wide
An answer for everything.

American Freedom Tour at Sheraton Dallas Hotel
A business seminar with Tomi Lahren and a Duck Dynasty bro.

Commerce Street Bike Lane Meeting at The Bomb Factory
One for the road.

3Links2sdays 2 Years at Three Links
With Colab, Friday’s Foolery and more.

Garrison Keillor at Winspear Opera House
Tales from Lake Wobegon.

Wednesday (5.10)
David Crosby & Friends at Granada Theater
Music is love.

Nick Thune at Trees
Proud of himself.

Fenech-Soler, Knox Hamilton at Dada
Work it out.

Hamilton Leithauser at Kessler Theater
A thousand times yes.

Pegasus City Brewery Launch at Craft and Growler
Keep the glass.

50/50 Day at Tower Club
Promoting gender equality in the workplace.

Thursday (5.11)
Sam Outlaw at Billy Bob’s
Keep it interesting.

Dan Savage at Kessler Theater
Good, giving and game.

Homegrown Pre-Party at The Rustic
With The O’s and Greg Schroeder.

Tripping Daisy at Dada
The triumphant return.

Tarkovsky’s Stalker (New Restoration) at Texas Theatre
Get in the zone.

Ro2 Art Happy Hour
Welcoming Art Money.

DAMN!sels at The Wild Detectives
An all-women short play festival.

Juelz Santana at Trees
There it go.

Friday (5.12)
Joe Rogan at Verizon Theatre
Fear is not a factor for him.

Nnamdi Ogbonnaya at The Dirty 30
Drool.

Pallbearer at Curtin Club
See the end.

Sondre Lerche at Dada
In real life.

The Color of Money 35mm Print at Texas Theatre
The Hustler isn’t what he used to be, but he has the next best thing. A kid who is.

PKTBK at Twilite Lounge (Free)
See ‘em try to fit nine on stage.

Waka Flocka Flame at Lizard Lounge
The big dawg.

Daphne Willis at The Rustic
Somebody’s someone.

Awesome Mix Dance Party at Alamo Drafthouse (Cedars)
With live band karaoke.

Emily King at Trees
Make the switch.

Anniversary Party at STAG Dallas
Deals on deals on deals.

Saturday (5.13)
Soaring to Save Sir Mo at Dallas Elks Lodge No. 71
Helping the former WWE super star raise money for a kidney transplant.

Last Podcast on the Left Live Taping at The Texas Theatre
Exploring the horrors of the world.

Homegrown Music & Arts Fest at Main Street Garden Park
With Tripping Daisy, Mutemath, White Denim, Lower Dens and more.

The Taste of Sound at The Brixton
The original food and music experience.

Jazz Cartier at Cambridge Room
Dead or alive.

King Lil G at Gas Monkey Live
Grow up.

The Life and Times, Besnard Lakes at Three Links
People of the sticks.

Cool Out at Off the Record (Free)
Strange games and funky things.

Truth in Comedy at Full City Rooster
True life tales.

Bun B at The Rail Club
He’s a mother fuckin P-I-M-P.

UFC at American Airlines Center
You’ve got to pay the ultimate price.

Swiss Avenue Home Tour
Take your mama.

Mimosa Run at Panther Island Pavilion
Never stop being the juice.

Sunday (5.14)
Bagel Run at Jewish Community Center
Oy vey.

MilesChronicles at Granada Theater
YouTube live.

Superjoint at Trees
Clickbaiter.

Rittz at Curtain Club
White rapper.

Free Metal Pendant Workshop at Klyde Warren
Go for the gold.

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our event directory.

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