Jesus Fucking Christ, It’s Already Pumpkin Spice Season At White Rock Coffee.

As a wise man once wrote: “Fuck pumpkin spice.”

We couldn’t agree with that sentiment more. Is it not enough that the overlords at Starbucks have made Pumpkin Spice Latte Season an officially recognized portion of our annual calendars? Or that the craze has spilled over to include things like pumpkin spice beers, pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin spice chapsticks and pumpkin spice versions of most any given dessert?

To all that, we say fuck pumpkin spice, fuck the horse it rode in on and fuck the way that, much like those all Christmas radio stations, it encroaches on a larger and larger portion of the year, seemingly creeping up earlier and earlier in the calendar as time progresses.

Here in Dallas, pumpkin spice season has already arrived. On Saturday, June 18, the folks at White Rock Coffee will be wholly ignoring the fact that it’s not even fucking officially summer yet by serving pumpkin spice coffee drinks at their Lake Highlands and Lakewood locations. Per a post to White Rock Coffee’s Facebook page, those shops will be “bringing back all the favorites and even some new tastes!”

In their defense, this is just a one-day preview/marketing ploy. Still: Even one day of pumpkin spice lattes is too many days of pumpkin spice lattes — especially at a place that asks “What size?” when you order a cappuccino.

The pumpkin spice advances must be stopped, America! Let it start with a stand against them this weekend in Dallas.

Cover photo by Kathy Tran.

















































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