Spot and Patches Would Like You To Keep The Clowns Away.
Each week, we team up with our friends at The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals of Texas (SPCA of Texas) to showcase a different animal that's in need of a loving home. We'll check out the animal, learn about its personality, do a short “interview,” take some cute pictures and report back to you on our findings. If any of the animals shown are to your liking, remember: They need loving homes free from abuse. If that sounds like your home, help them out.
This week, we met up with Patches and Spot, a calico cat and tortoise shell cat respectively. They are pair-bonded, which means you have to adopt both at the same time. But just means twice the love, right? The twosome are currently up for adoption at the SPCA of Texas (2400 Lone Star Drive; 214-742-7722), if you're interested, which you totally should be.
So you guys are named Spot and Patches? Those seem likes names meant for dogs.
Spot: We are not the dogs. We are Russian.
Patches: Russian skydiver performers.
I think “cat” would have been the first place I would have started, but OK. So you preform while skydiving?
Patches: Yes, we preform the acrobatics that we learned from the Russian circus.
You guys were circus performers?!?! Why'd you leave?
Patches: The clowns.
Spot: They try to kill my comrade and I.
What?! You're joking!
Spot: No. It is proven fact that all Russian clowns are murders. They join the circus to escape the jail.
That is a crazy stereotype.
Spot: Don't you have in America… what do they call it…
Patches: The ICP? The very scary clowns?
Insane Clown Posse? Well, yes, I guess those guys are scary and weird, but they don't kill. At least I don't think they do. They just sing bad music.
Spot: In Russia, all clowns look like the ICP and sing bad music before they kill you.
Patches: We do not trust this ICP.
I can assure you that no clowns are going to kill you here.
Patches: We are still very nervous. The ICP invited us to preform at their gathering, but it sounded like the trap, so we did not skydive for them.
Oh, trust me, from what I've heard, you really don't want to go to their “gatherings,” anyway. Well, OK, we're about done here, guys. Care to share a few words about yourself so our readers can better understand your personalities?
Patches: We are the nice.
Spot: And we do not like the clowns.