Get White Trash Wasted.

Welcome to Perfect Date Night, a new weekly feature that acts as your spirit guide for going on a perfect date in what is objectively Texas' best city, Dallas. Each week, we'll give you a night's worth of suggestions for a date night in a specific neighborhood, complete with recommendations for bars, restaurants, concerts, art shows, sporting events or, well, anything, really. Just make sure you include an emoji or two when you text your crush to invite them out.

Date Details.
When: Friday night.
Duration: Three hours.
Number of Stops: Two.
Modest Estimated Budget For Two: $60.
Ballin' Estimated Budget For Two: $100.
Ideal Partner: A seasoned jortsologist.
Romance Scale: Three out of five hearts.

Listen, most of the time, going out in Uptown is great. But it's important to expand your horizons from time to time, my fellow young Dallasites!

Getting to ditch the high heels and dress down is not only a fun change of pace, it's also cheaper, and can be a real money-saver to boot. Fortunately, Dallas has plenty of alternatives in other parts of town — and there's two especially laidback events this Friday for you and your partner to take on instead.

Photo by Colin Alsheimer.

Stop No. 1:Truck Yard's Fine Wine & Flip Flops (5624 Sears Street, Dallas). After getting rained out last weekend, Truck Yard's Fine Wine & Flip Flops event is finally going down this Friday, and I'm pretty excited! Truck Yard has chilling down to a science, and it shows. Tickets are only $15 at the door and include five tastings, plus a souvenir glass to add to your collection. Artists will be selling their wares, music will be playing and their usual food trucks will be around to help satiate your drunk munchies fix. The only downside is it's first-come, first-served with only 200 glasses available starting at 4 p.m. If you tend to run late (like my friends), you might be best served just heading straight for stop No. 2.

Photo via Goat Ranch's Facebook page.

Stop No. 2: The Goat Ranch's Cornhole & Bear Pong Tournament (4000 Ash Lane, Dallas). Recently, a friend asked me to describe The Goat Ranch, and I decided on “the bastard child of Double Wide and Top Golf.” It's got the perfect combo of trailer trash fun and a solid beer and cocktail selection, and it'll kick your weekend up a couple notches. It gets a few additional bonus points too, since it's a fairly new place and you can impress your date with your choice of destination. This Friday, they've got a cornhole and “bear pong” tourney happening, courtesy of COOP Ale Works. Grab some beers (or bears?) from their Big Friendly Craft Beer Bus and compete to win tickets to the Fort Worth Untapped festival that's happening the next day. Even if you lose the tourney, you'll still win most fun date night choice for the weekend.

Cover photo by Colin Alsheimer.

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