Remembering The Lives Of Rotting Pumpkins, I Voted! Stickers, The 7-Election and More.
Each week, dozens of memes, trends and pop culture items die quiet, unceremonious deaths. We'd like to publicly give these dead trends the proper memorials they deserve. Then, we kindly request that we never speak of them again.
People Making V For Vendetta References On Guy Fawkes Day
Born November 5, 2006, People Making V For Vendetta References On Guy Fawkes Day, was executed on November 5, 2012. Though his explosive personality rubbed many people the wrong way, he was also a dynamic sort that was always able to persuade co-conspirators to join in on his harebrained schemes. He will be remembered not only for his overwhelming love for dishing out quality high fives, but in the way that he never left a buddy hanging. People Making V For Vendetta References On Guy Fawkes Day was preceded in death by Guys Showing Up To Tea Party Rallies In Tricorn Hats and A General Public That Understands The Cause Of Shay's Rebellion. He is survived by References To The Ninety-Nine Percenters. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you always remember, remember their loved one's birthday.
The 7-Election, 12, returned to the ground on November 6, 2012. A huge fan of crowd-sourcing and patriotism, he lived a life full of energy and held strong beliefs in democracy. Above all, he believed that every American should have the privilege of freshly brewed, high-quality beverages at affordable prices and in convenient locations, and he worked his entire life working towards making his dream a reality. The 7-Election was preceded in death by great grandfather The Shell Game, older brother Beer Pong Tournaments, and twin sisters 2 Girls 1 Cup. He is survived by parents Red Solo Cups and People Using Madden NFL Games To Predict The Outcome Of The Super Bowl and cousins Speed Stacking and The Starbucks Trenta Cup. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you please pour one out for your fallen homie — from a colored cup of your choosing.
Rotting Jack-O-Lantern gave up the ghost on October 30, 2012. While the once-prominent member of the family was a real cut-up early in life, he was said to have gone out of his gourd there at the end, his heady days long behind him. Though it's been well over a week since his passing, a memorial isn't planned until November 9, 2012. By then, the family hopes to have decided who will be responsible for removing his week-old corpse from the front porch. Rotting Jack-O-Lantern was preceded in death by nieces Microwaved Peeps and A Stale Box Of Frankenberry Cereal. He is survived by parents Jack-in-the-Box and Chinese Lanterns, younger brother Frozen Turducken, and son Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
“I Voted!” Stickers
“I Voted!” Stickers passed away November 7, 2012. An archetypal patriot, “I Voted!” Stickers was outspoken about her fandom of civic duties. The 94-time juror and lifelong PTA member rarely missed a City Council meeting or an opportunity to boast about her good deeds. A steadfast and loyal companion, “I Voted!” Stickers always stuck by those closest to her, even in the toughest of times. Although she never missed a chance to have her voice heard, her appearances at polling places became less and less frequent leading up to her final days. “I Voted!” Stickers was preceded in death by her parents My Child Is An Honor Student Bumper Stickers and 26.2 Stickers, her uncle Peeing Calvin Stickers and her nephew Andre The Giant Has A Posse Stickers. She is survived by a grandmother, “Hello My Name Is…” Stickers and a daughter, Lisa Frank Stickers.
The White Establishment
With the economic system stacked firmly against them, The White Establishment crumbled for good on November 6, 2012, unable to fathom the thought of living another four years in an Obama-lead country. The White Establishment was preceded in death by parents Educated Voters and Bill O'Reilly's “Fuck It! We'll Do It Live” Meltdown, as well as his brothers Traditional America and Karl Rove's Grasp On Reality. He is survived by his great uncle Racism, his twin brother The 47 Percent, and a son, Rush Limbaugh's 99 Problems.