Remembering the Lives of NFL Replacement Officials, Cray, Leggings As Pants, Beach Boys and Cash.
Each week, dozens of memes, trends and pop culture items die quiet, unceremonious deaths.
We'd like to publicly give these dead trends the proper memorials they deserve.
Then, we kindly request that we never speak of them again.
NFL Replacement Officials
NFL Replacement Officials kicked the bucket on September 27, 2012, although everyone is pretty sure they clearly saw these refs pass away on September 26, 2012. Despite being a clumsy, often unwelcome guest, they had a good run during their time with us. After further review, though, it's clear that their life was no good. NFL Replacement Officials were preceded in death by a father, Scab Players, and a mother, The Replacements. They are survived by their cousins, Zebras.
Born September 12, 2011, Cray passed away in Paris on October 2, 2012. A gifted athlete, he often balled so hard that muthafuckas often wanted to fine him. Cray is preceded in death by parents Dope and Buggin', and older brothers, Bonkers and Insane In The Membrane. Cray's family requests that, in his honor, you not let yourself get in your zone.
Leggings As Pants
Leggins As Pants, 28, came to an unsightly end on October 1, 2012. She was a very confident woman, sometimes to a fault. She will be remembered for her love of workouts, running, cold weather and her unshakeable positive body image. Her friends joked that their secrets were never safe around her, as she could never hold anything in. Leggings As Pants is preceded in death by Long Johns As Shirts and Pajama Pants In Public. She is survived by her grandmother Panty Hose, her sisters Tights and Leotards, and her daughter Jeggings. In lieu of flowers, the family asks, “Can you see my vagina through this?”
The Beach Boys
The Beach Boys, 51, went belly up on September 26, 2012. Prior to their untimely end, they had plenty of fun fun fun while surfing, cruising down the strip in their Woody's and picking up girls. But The Beach Boys never seemed to catch any flack for their womanizing ways. Instead, they were always known for the positive vibrations they always seemed to emanate. The Beach Boys was preceded in death by their cousins The Beatles and their brothers Jan and Dean. They are survived by their daughter, Wilson Phillips. In lieu of flowers, the family asks, “Wouldn't it be nice?”
Cash, born in 1690, bought the farm on October 3, 2012. She was a popular sort with countless friends. As such, she became known by dozens of different nicknames in her long life. A very persuasive woman, she was said to have ruled everything around her during her time with us. Cash is preceded in death by grandparents The Barter System, Beads, Clamshells and Gold Bars. She is survived by her daughter Debit Cards, her nephew Credit Cards and a distant cousin, IOUs.