In Which A Drunken Dustin Diamond Has Trouble Ordering From A Dallas Drive-Thru.

In their years since graduating from Bayside High, several cast members of the one-time Saturday morning staple Saved By The Bell have proven their judgment dubious at best.

While the bulk of these bad decisions lay with questionable roles (Showgirls, anyone?) one cast member in particular has established himself as the leader in the clubhouse as far as being a respectable human is concerned.

With his intentionally produced and “leaked” sex tape Screeched: Saved By The Smell (in which he gives a prostitute a firsthand lesson in the art of the dirty Sanchez), his tell-all biography Behind the Bell (in which he reveals alleged behind-the-scenes sex stories and scandals involving his former castmates) or his 2006 “save my house” T-shirt scam in which he “sold” autographed t-shirts to his fans online and never delivered the merchandise, Dustin “Screech” Diamond has shown himself to be something of a master in the art of being a grade-A dickbag.

And, thanks to a video-taped foray around North Texas after a performance at the Addison Improv last month, you can now add self-important, entitled, and slightly racist to his list of character flaws.

Though a recently surfaced video of Diamond’s drunken attempts to order a “sourdough breakfast sandwich” at a Dallas Jack in the Box are pretty harmless by comparison to some of his prior missteps, he still comes off as something of an ass at the very least. The video in question shows a clearly-inebriated Diamond ordering breakfast at the 6308 Gaston Avenue Jack in the Box location late at night following his April 5th gig and then getting into an argument with the Hispanic drive-thru attendant when she claims his desired sandwich is no longer on the menu. He is then seen heading to the 6355 E Mockingbird location where he orders successfully.

Our favorite part of the video — besides the fact that we too have hit up that very Jack in the Box post-2 a.m. before — is that we can kind of relate to his behavior, at least in this case. We have several fuzzy memories of being driven home in the backseat our own car by a responsible friend who has taken the keys from us and then demanding that they take us to Jack in the Box before dropping us off, insisting all the while that they order us a Jumbaco goddammit. Or, at the very least, 99 tacos for two cents.

That, and the fact that, despite the constant and fairly immoral stunts he pulls to shed his “Screech” typecasting while remaining in the public eye, none of our young interns have any idea who the hell he is.

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