A Guide To The Best Stoner Food Spots In Dallas.
April 20th has evolved (or devolved depending on who you ask) into the biggest counterculture holiday of the year — a sort of pot-smoker’s Thanksgiving, if you will.
While some organized “4/20” gatherings have a pseudo-political purpose (groups of folks lighting up publicly to draw attention to growing decriminalization movements), most people just use the date as an excuse to toke up.
Which is all fine and good until the munchies hit. The munchies can be a stoner’s best friend (“Dude, I just invented a Pizza Rolls and Pop Tart sandwich!”) or worst enemy (“Awww, man, who ate all the Cheez-It’s and Lucky Charms?”). So, in preparation of this year’s “celebrations,” we put together this little guide featuring 10 of the best places in Dallas to eat while stoned.
Or so we’ve heard.
9007 Garland Rd.
Munchies: The Evil Elvis (topped with bacon, honey, peanut butter and bananas), The Canadian Health Care Option (topped with maple frosting, bacon, and maple syrup), The Hangover (topped with vanilla frosting and Gatorade powder), The Mexico (topped with vanilla frosting, jalapenos, and Tabasco), The Hypnotic (topped with peanut butter Captain Crunch and pretzels), and The Doppin (topped with strawberry frosting and crushed mixed berry Poptarts).
April 20 Pro Tip: You don’t have to choose between sweet and savory, because, y’know, decisions are hard, man. At Hypnotic, they expertly pair things like bacon and jalapenos with their sweet frostings and hearty cake bases.
Good 2 Go Taco
1146 Peavy Rd.
Munchies: The Hotlanta (waffle-battered chicken and sweet potatoes inside a tortilla) and Pot Squared (pot roast, queso, pico de gallo, and mashed potatoes inside a tortilla).
April 20 Pro Tip: Good 2 Go is home to many great (and a few off-the-wall) combinations, with the added bonus of some healthy, yet equally quirky, options, including some veggie options (see: the Choppin’ Brocco-lay taco) as well as some interesting big salads and wraps.
Big Mama’s Chicken and Waffles
9810 Forest Lane
Munchies: A basket of fried chicken served with waffles. A true stoner classic.
April 20 Pro Tip: Big Mama’s is a cash-only joint. You’ll need to plan that trip to the ATM plenty in advance, because nothing will harsh your mellow like standing in line at the bank.
2807 Elm St.
Munchies: Buffalo Chicken (Buffalo sauce, grilled chicken, and bleu cheese crumbles), Big Meat (pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, meatballs, bacon).
April 20 Pro Tip: The giant pies at Serious Pizza are kind of a sight to behold. Plus, it’s always fun to eat finger foods that are bigger than your head. As the 20th falls on a Friday this year, it also means you can try to take down their 30″ extra large until 3 a.m. — long after most other places close.
6537 E. Northwest Hwy.
Munchies: Burgers, Fries, Beer.
April 20 Pro Tip: The throwback ’50s-style drive-in burger joint is just seedy enough that the cigarette-smoking waitress won’t even so much as give you a second glance if your eyes are maybe a wee bit red and glassy — but not so much that you will second guess the quality of their food. Also, they let you drink beer in your car here, which is kind of awesome in any state of mind. Oh yeah, and Jimmy Buffet, whose backing band is called the Coral Reefer Band we might add, has been known to call the Keller’s burger the best in Texas, so there’s that.
Twisted Root Burger Co.
2615 Commerce St.
Munchies: The Big German (pretzel bun w/sauerkraut & swiss), The Frito Bandito (Texas chili, guac, cheddar & Fritos), The Big Tex (cheddar, guac, fried onion strings & chipotle sauce).
April 20 Pro Tip: Twisted Root not only satisfies the I’m-so-hungry-I-could-eat-a-horse crowd, but they’ve got the I’m-so-high-I-could-eat-a-kangaroo crowd covered as well. Oh yeah, besides kangaroo burgers, they’ve also got venison, elk, lamb, ostrich, emu, boar, alligator burgers on the menu as well. No, really!
Rangers Ballpark in Arlington
1000 Ballpark Way
Munchies: The Boomstick (also called “The Champion Dog,” depending on which concession stand it’s ordered from).
April 20 Pro Tip: We like to think the extra-extra-long dog named after Nelson Cruz’s bat was conceived by a couple of blazed concession workers using leftover wieners to play stickball after hours. If you giggle at the description of a “2-foot, 1-pound wiener,” then you’re probably stoned enough to shell out $26 for a hot dog. (Note: The Rangers are actually up in Detroit tomorrow, playing the Tigers, so put this idea in your back pocket for some future toke down the line.)
Fuel City Tacos
801 S. Riverfront Blvd.
Munchies: Some of the best street-style tacos in town.
April 20 Pro Tip: The stoner magic of Fuel City comes not from their wondrous tacos so much as the fact that it is attached to a gas station shop, and shops like those are ground zero for stoners. Yes, they’ve got all the staples like beef jerky, cinnamon rolls, weird energy drinks and the big one, chips. Sometimes, we like to get bold and pump the liquid cheese from the nacho station straight into a bag of Doritos.
Munchies: The Kitchen Sink sandwich (Chicken Fried Steak, ham, hot dog, onion, jalapenos, & pepper jack served on an Italian Roll.), Double Dog Dare (Burger patty, ham, hot dog, chili, bacon, cheddar, grilled jalapenos, served with chili cheese fries), Cowboy Style Chicken Fried Steak (Tender beef, breaded, deep-fried & smothered in our chili, cheddar cheese & sliced jalapenos).
April 20 Pro Tip: Make sure one of your buddies doesn’t have a video camera with them at this stop — just in case you end up sprawled out David Hasselhoff-style on the floor at the end of the night all giggly and covered in chili, trying somewhat unsuccessfully to take down that Double Dog Dare.