Keep Doing You, Randy Travis.
What's up, R-Trav?
You've kind of had a tough go of things of late, haven't you?
Let's have us a little recap, shall we? Bear with us, we'll try to be quick.
OK, here goes: Back in February, you were arrested for getting drunk in your car in a Sanger church parking lot; on August 7, you allegedly threatened shoot a police officer when you were again arrested for a DWI, this time after cops found you bruised and naked in your car outside of Tioga; this was after you'd apparently entered a Pilot Point convenience store in the buff, looking for cigarettes that same night; you got cited for simple assault by the Plano Police Department last week after getting into a brawl in the Prestonwood Baptist Church parking lot; and then, this week, Frisco cops found your car totaled and turned over on its side, abandoned in a field.
Yeesh. You've kinda been “too gone for too long,” if you catch my drift, yeah?
Maybe. But, on the other hand, perhaps your behavior is to be a little expected. You are, after all, going through a notoriously ugly divorce at the moment. I feel like not enough people realize that. Because, surely, if they did, they'd be a little more sympathetic. I feel like most people know that divorces can be tough, right? That's not, like, a crazy notion I'm putting forth here.
People also probably don't realize that you've spent the bulk of your career of late performing gospel songs. So, yeah, we're gonna chalk up this behavior of yours of late as just a bump in the road.
But, more important, we want you to know this: Even if this is just the new you, we're not really mad at you. So long as you're only hurting yourself and not injuring others in the process, we don't mind if you get a little drunk here and there.
Actually, we're kind of into it. We've never really listened to your music all that closely before, but now that you're in the news again, we've given a lot of your bigger hits some second spins. And you know what? They're pretty solid. And pretty indicative of the kind of guy you are, too.
You sing a lot about death and divorce, huh? That's cool. Those are important themes in country music. You know what else is a big theme in country music, too? Historically, at least? Being a devil-may-care, total badass.
We never took you for one of those before, but these days, we'd be remiss not to do so. Let's face it: This current backslide of yours has put you closer to the likes to Johnny Cash and the other, older greats than you've ever been before.
And, hey, that's pretty cool.
We do have to say this, though: We'd prefer you not drive when you get drunk. That shit's just crazy dangerous. And stupid. Have you heard of eFrogs? You should give them a ring some time. They'll pick you up and take you home for free. I know, it's pretty cool.
I feel like you're pretty cool, too, R-Trav. Just be careful. And if you ever want someone to talk to or hang with or whatever, hey, maybe consider us. We're usually around. And we're super discreet. Also, we know tricks about how not to get into trouble. Believe us, that eFrogs idea is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to us.
Point is, R-Trav, we think you should just keep doing you. We're OK with it. We kind of love it, if we're being honest. We'd just like you to be a little more cautious. For your own safety, we mean.
Because, listen, we know you're probably hating all this press of late, but, if we're being real, we think it's probably the best thing to happen to your career in a while.
So, chin up, buddy. OK? OK.
Talk to you soon. Hope so.
The Central Track Staff