Play The Long Con.

The first big freeze of the season got you feeling a little down? Lay in a box of kittens about it, says the Internet. Or, more accurately, the portion of the Internet owned by Big Cat Food, at least.

Of course, there's more than one way to skin, er, to lift your spirits this cold-ass weekend. In fact, we've listed a whole bunch of them here. Hopefully you can find something that makes you as happy as those people up to their ears in kittens. — Cory Graves

Friday
Galactic, Big Freedia at Granada Theater
Though both hail from New Orleans, Friday night's performers at the Granada couldn't be any more different, really. Headliner Galactic is a jazz- and funk-influenced jam band. For Big Freedia, the reigning queen of the city's bounce scene, the literal ass-shaking — both onstage and off — is just as integral to the show as her music itself. — CG

Fort Worth Rock Assembly III at Lola's
For the next three days, outfits from all over town will gather to perform tribute sets to some of their favorite artists. For tonight's opening night festivities, for instance, you'll get Kevin Aldridge & the Appraisers doing Weezer, Bogus Green taking on Green Day, Un Chien as Brian Jonestown Massacre, Sealion putting its spin on Nirvana and Oil Boom doing its best DEVO. — CG

Cold Specs at Three Links
Cold Specks, born Al Spx, was born in Canada and is currently based in the U.K., but you wouldn't guess that listening to her deeply southern brand of melancholic folk. For the record, she calls her complex mix of broody, hookless output “doom soul.” Fort Worth's Leon Bridges and Sam Anderson open. — CG

Dennis Miller, David Spade at Winstar World Casino
If this one's anything like the last performance of his we caught, Miller will probably be the only one relying heavily on note cards tonight. Perhaps that shouldn't be surprising; the guy makes a lot of obscure references throughout his comedy. Always has. He's the smartest guy in the room — according to him, at least — and he always has been. Whether the former host of SNL's Weekend Update segment will pair well with the stand-up of David Spade — who himself hosted SNL's Hollywood Minute segment — remains to be seen. — Hampton Mills

Wanda Sykes at Majestic Theatre
Here's a little Wanda Sykes fun fact for you: Before launching her stand-up career or starring in such vehicles as Curb Your Enthusiasm and The New Adventures of Old Christine, Sykes spent five years as a contracting specialist for the ever-controversial National Security Agency. — CG

Brown Sabbath at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
During a weekly residency last year at Austin hot dog bar Frank, Latin funk band Brownout paid tribute to artists like James Brown, Black Sabbath and even doing a b-boy night. It was there the band developed its Brown Sabbath alter ego, and hammered out the tunes that comprise its latest Latin-infused Sabbath-covering LP. You've never heard “Planet Caravan” like this before. — CG

Dazed and Confused at Inwood Theatre
Pretty much everyone has seen this movie, which, on the plus side, makes it infinitely more quotable. The cast is a who's who of “Oh, right, I forgot he/she was in that!” including Parker Posey, Milla Jovovich, Ben Affleck, Jason London and Matthew McConaughey, whose “Alright, alright, alright,” line from the film has followed him for 21 years now. — Chelsea Upton

Micah Schnabel at Dan's Silverleaf
Following an early show at the venue from Nashville singer-songwriter Tim Easton, Two Cow Garage frontman Micah Schnabel will head up Dan's Silverleaf's late show. Joining Schnabel on his current solo tour are Fort Collins, Colorado pop rockers Sour Boy, Bitter Girl. — CG

Friday on the Green at Magnolia Green Park (Free)
Bring your blanket and set up on the grassy knolls of Magnolia Green Park for the last edition of Fort Worth's monthly Friday on the Green of the year. The Unlikely Candidates, Son of Stan and War Party will each perform, the hot chocolate, we hear, will flow like wine. Still, don't forget your booties, because it's cold out there.– CG

Bear's Den at The Loft
Have you noticed how many bands there are these days with the word “bear” in their name? There's Boy & Bear, Bear Hands, Minus the Bear, Panda Bear, Grizzly Bear, Bear in Heaven, Cowboy Indian Bear, The Teddy Bears, The Honeybears and Sunbears!, just to name a few. To be clear, Bear's Den is the Brit-folk band that's been closely associated with Mumford and Sons thus far in its young career. — CG

Ben Aqua at Crown and Harp (Free)
Austin's Ben Aqua returns to Dallas this evening, where he'll perform with closely associated DJs Air DJ + Shooknite and Track Meet. No matter how cold it's supposed to be in Dallas this weekend, this impossible-to-resist dance-heavy affair will likely get pretty hot and sweaty just the same. — CG

Horse Feathers at Dada
Singer-songwriter Justin Ringle grew up in Idaho, but after awhile found that it wasn't Portlandia enough for him there. Thus, he moved to, well, Portland, to start an indie-folk outfit named after a Marx Brothers movie. Naturally, the band recorded its current album in a barn in Oregon. Because of course they did. — CG

Jimmie Vaughan at Kessler Theater
The older brother of Texas blues legend Stevie Ray Vaughan is known as “The Godfather of Austin Blues.” As a member of the Fabulous Thunderbirds, he popularized “Tuff Enuff” and “Wrap it Up,” two of the most used songs in the history of advertising, we'd guess. And like Edie Brickell did recently, he'll return to perform near his old stomping grounds this evening. — CG

Dope Body, Future Death, Room Runner, Triathalon at Double Wide
Room Runner is the newest project by Denny Bowen, the former drummer of Double Dagger. This band had a heavy '90s pastiche, with a nice contrast between jangly K-Pop Records stuff and heavier bands like Jesus Lizard, Black Flag or Nirvana. Bowen's a pretty funny guy onstage, too, and between that humor and the loud-as-hell rock Room Runner showcases, you can tell that, though this band wears their grunge rock roots on their sleeve, they're doing their best to drag it out of it's tired shell. Tonight the band performs alongside acts like Dope Body, Future Death and Triathalon– Jeremy Hughes

Just Blaze at Monroe Lounge (Free)
Catching a DJ set from a guy that's produced hits for Jay Z, Kanye, Eminem, Swizz Beatz, Jay Electronica, Kendrick Lamar, Talib Kweli and Cam'ron, among others, would be a bargain at most any price. It just so happens this one is also free. — CG

Wil Anderson at Hyena's Dallas
All weekend long Chelsea Lately regular Wil Anderson will deliver a particularly boisterous brand of stand-up that only a true Australian can. Over there, of course, that's just called regular stand-up. — CG

Smallpools at House of Blues
Smallpools has only been a band since 2013 and the Los Angeles-based indie-poppers have still yet to release its debut LP. Still, after the band performed at the Suburbia Festival and another House of Blues show this summer there's plenty of people in Dallas that know every word to the band's single “Dreaming.” Magic Man and Panama Wedding open. — Dominique Goncalves

Percy Shalamar's Playaz Ball at 1505 Seeger St. (Free)
If they get, caught it's all over. If they don't, it's just the beginning! Sorry, that's a different house party we were thinking of. While there may not be anyone dancing the Funky Charleston at this one, The Outfit, TX and DJ Sober will be there at least. And the booze will be on the house. — CG

Lil Debbie at Plush
Former White Girl Mob member, model, fashion designer, rapper, Kreayshawn hater, and friend to twerkers everywhere, Lil Debbie heads up this West Coast throwback party. — CG

Saturday
Art Conspiracy X at 500 Singleton Blvd.
Since 2005, local arts-based non-profit Art Conspiracy has been bringing together Dallas artists, musicians, art lovers and philanthropists together for annual grassroots events aimed at raising funds for local art-based programs and groups. In that time, they've raised tens of thousands of dollars for various groups through ticket sales and auctioning off 150 pieces of artwork made on-site prior to the event. This year's beneficiary is Anita M. Martinez Ballet Folklorico and live music will be performed by Booty Fade, Son of Stan, Happy Bullets and DJ CeePee. Anyway, bring some extra cash, because the bidding can get pretty intense. — CG

Sturgill Simpson at Dada (Sold Out)
In an era when the Jason Aldeans and Luke Bryans of the world have made country music the butt of most every music joke, Simpson's music is a breath of fresh air. His latest, which bears the misnomer Metamodern Sounds in Country Music sounds like a batch of lost Waylon Jennings tunes recently discovered in an attic somewhere. While many in the industry are calling him the genre's savior, Sturgill's awe shucks demeanor is a dead giveaway he's not concerned with any of that. Rather, he's just interested in making some really damn good country. You can bet this will be his last time playing a venue this size in Dallas. — CG

Dallas Whiskey & Fine Spirits Festival at Fair Park
There will be over 150 different kinds of whiskey available for sampling at this celebration of jazz-era decadence. Before you get too crazy, just remember what Mark Twain used to say: “Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” — CG

Sam Lao, Tunk at Texas Theatre
Frequent A.Dd+ collaborator Tunk is a burly dude — and he sounds it, too, offering up deep-voiced, authoritative vocals throughout this latest release. On this night, he'll be joined by Sam Lao, who has really been stepping up her live game of late. It's a refreshing thing to see, to be sure. — PF

Fort Worth Rock Assembly III at Lola's
Night two of this three-day cover band-a-thon will see The Sex Rynos performing as Cream, Igneous Grimm as Neil Young, The Phantom Sensation as Tom Petty, War Party as The Velvet Underground, Shake the Moon as Hall & Oates, Dead Vinyl as Led Zeppelin, Panic Volcanic as Black Sabbath and The Me-Thinks as Spinal Tap. — CG

Noise Umbrella Showcase at City Tavern
he Frisco-based NAMS music school has recently added a recording studio and record label arm to its facility called Noise Umbrella. The first project from the studio comes from 18-year-old student Anna Robyn Thomas, whose debut single “Going Down” was released October 14. You can find the promising indie-pop ditty here, and catch Thomas performing at a Noise Umbrella showcase at City Tavern this Saturday. — CG

Black Dotz at Crown and Harp
Recently, Black Dotz frontman Wanz Dover tells us, his band ditched the whole soul punk thing and found its own voice. He also tells us the band's current lineup just gone done recording 26 tracks that'll be released via biannual EPs in 2015. Until then, get a taste of the band's new direction here or, better yet, scope out the newlook Black Dotz for yourself at this Crown and Harp show. Eyes, Wings and Many Other Things also performs. — CG

White Out at Red Light Lounge
According to our immense meteorology background, a whiteout occurs during snow storms when everything turns white and the horizon disappears completely. With no reference points to rely on, disorientation is all but guaranteed. If everyone that shows up to this dance party dresses in all white, organizers say, things could get extra crazy — especially once booze is added into the mix. — CG

Tedeschi Trucks Band at Majestic Theatre
When deciding to marry or move-in with someone, you've got a lot of things to consider. One checking account or two? Which coffee maker should we keep? How gently can you tell someone that their collection of 1992 Dream Team cups from McDonalds are not nice enough to serve drinks in at a dinner party? That stuff is tough enough, but what do you do if you're both musicians with successful blues-rock projects? If you're Susan Tedeschi and Derek Trucks, you combine the two acts into one Grammy-winning outfit. The couple that plays together stays together, it seems. — Stephen Young

Punks Alive Tour at Three Links
Two weeks after opening for Leftover Crack at Trees, Denver's Potato Pirates are back, headlining the venue across the street. Along with the like-minded Sniper 66, The Scandals TX, The Bad Engrish, Violent Affair, these outfits specialize in breathing new life into seemingly dead subgenres like ska, oi, '90s punk and the like. — CG

Etsy Jingle Bash at South Side Event Center at Gilley's
Since '07, the organization Etsy Dallas has been organizing independently run art and handmade craft shows in the area, encouraged and supported local crafters as well as the handmade movement as a whole. A full bar, live music and an overall hipper vibe ensure it won't be just another typical quote-unquote craft show. — CG

Ronnie Fauss (Album Release) at The Rustic
On his new album, Dallas' Ronnie Fauss takes his indebtedness to the Old 97's up yet another notch, not only mining the band's patented take on alt-country, but dueting with Rhett Miller on one track. Heck, he's even signed to Normaltown Records, an imprint of the 97's New West label. Hey, it's a formula that's worked pretty well for that band for 20 years now. — CG

Have a Heart Fundraiser at Brass Tacks Barbershop
In January King Camel will throw a benefit concert at Trees to raise money for John Bullard, who you can read more about here. To help Bullard cover expenses related to his Cerebral Palsy, they'll get the ball rolling early with this silent auction and fundraiser. Bid on items like passes to upcoming shows, records and art from local merchants. Grab a haircut and a beer, take in some tunes courtesy of the always buzzing Leon Bridges and spread some love. — CG

Sunday
Meat Fight at The Green Warehouse in Trinity Groves (Sold Out)
Four short years ago, a small group of Dallasites started a barbecue competition in their backyard, and already the event has become one of the most anticipated competitions of its kind. Last year's event, for instance, not only featured noted celebrity meat aficionado Nick Offerman as a guest judge, but raised over $50,000 for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. With a handful of the area's most respected pit-masters, they very much intend to shatter that number. — CG

Method Man & Redman at House of Blues
The fifth annual Smoker's Club tour will be headed up by “How High” rappers Method and Red. Joining them will be Cypress Hill member B-Real, Taylor Gang's Berner and up-and-comer Mick Jenkins, each of whom has their own rich history with getting blazed. — CG

Clockwork Indigo at Trees
“Oh, the Smokers Club Tour is happening tonight, too?” members of Flatbush Zombies and The Underachievers wonder aloud. “That's cute.” The so-called Beast Coast supergroup comprised of those two acts prefers the harder stuff. Be careful, somebody's bound to be trippin' balls at this one. — CG

The Black Keys at American Airlines Center
Nineteen-year-old Jake Bugg has already released two critically acclaimed albums and is said to be churning out a third. So, OK, he's productive. But the question remains: Is he the next Dylan? That's what a lot of folks are calling him these days, at least. Decide for yourself as he opens for a band once called “the next White Stripes.” — Porttia Portis

Univision Tamale Festival at Dallas Market Hall
What better way to spend the end of the weekend than filling up on meat-filled, corn goodness? With live entertainment, cooking competitions, samplings and seminars, there's a little bit of something for everyone at this one. But, let's face it, you'll mostly be going for the food. — PP

Fort Worth Rock Assembly III at Lola's
The third annual cover band fest wraps up tonight with sets from RTB2, which will perform as Doug Sahm, Henry the Archer doing The Cure, Goodwin as The Pretenders, Thieves of Sunrise as The Black Crowes, Lindby as David Bowie, American 45s as The Band, The Effinays as Michael Jackson and Son of Stan will close it all down with a Huey Lewis & the News set. — CG

Primus at Majestic Theatre
Like many of us, Primus mastermind Les Claypool was pretty appalled at how awful the Johnny Depp-led Willy Wonka remake turned out. So, for the band's just-released Primus & the Chocolate Factory, Primus recorded a bunch of uber strange covers of tunes from the Gene Wilder version of the film — even going so far as to hide golden tickets in some of the album sleeves good for free admission for life to the band's shows. — CG

Crunch and Brunch at Vital Fitness Studio
Exactly like it sounds, show up at 10:15 a.m. for an hour of power yoga followed up by brunch at CBD Provisions. $35 gets you access to both. Not a bad little way to start off a Sunday. — CG

Noah Gundersen at The Loft
At age 25, Noah Gundersen as already somewhat of a veteran in the music industry. His music career began through touring his home state of Washington and Oregon with string accompaniment by his sister in their band The Courage, eventually pushing him forward on his solo artist evolution of spirituality and romantic dogma. — PP

Unwed Teenage Mothers at Three Links
These Mississippi power poppers got hooks for days, and have been compared to the likes of The Marked Men. Meaning? They should have no trouble fitting in around these parts. Locals The Longshots and The Van Sanchez open. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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