Finish Him.

Men are more likely to go back in time and kill Hitler than women are, says an actual study that really exists. While Hitler certainly needs to be dealt with, said the majority of the women in the story, there's surely another way to do that than straight up shooting the sumbitch dead.

In an unrelated study that actually doesn't really exist, researchers have determined that folks who read Central Track's daily Things To Do posts are more likely to go out and have a good time tonight. — Cory Graves

Mortal Kombat X Tournament at Alamo Drafthouse (Free)
Ready to test your might? Today, the tenth installment of the long-running Mortal Kombat series was released, a fact the folks at Alamo Drafthouse have decided to mark with a good ol' fashioned videogame tourney. Here's where it gets cool: While the opening rounds of combat will take place on 60-inch flat screens, the final showdown will be plastered up on one of the theater's 40-foot movie screens. Fight! — CG

Faster Pussycat at Trees
Glam metal outfit Faster Pussycat had a few hits in the '80s, none of which were called “Know When To Quit.” — Pete Freedman

Xetas, Pink Smoke, SuperSonic Lips at Rubber Gloves
Members of Austin greats Brain Attack, The Gospel Truth and Foreign Mother have come together in recent years to unleash an angular noise assault as Xetas. Denton and Dallas punks Pink Smoke and SuperSonic Lips open. — CG

Showgirls at Alamo Drafthouse
With its NC-17 rating, Showgirls didn't stand much of a shot at the boxoffice, even if it had been any good. Unfortunately, Paul Verhoeven's epic fleshpile was an almost completely irredeemable pile of shit. Notice we said almost. In subsequent years the film the film's grown into a cult phenomen thanks, in part, to writer/storyteller David Schmader's live criticism of the film, which he first performed in Seattle in 1999. Since then his comedic annotation/analysis of the film has earned a cult status in and of itself. He'll perform it live in the theater at this screening. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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