Your Dependable Booty Call Hasn't Returned Your Last Three Texts?
Situation: It's 3 a.m. You text your most dependable booty call. For the third text in a row, you get no response. Ouch. This is a rough one. There could be a lot of different things going on here. Maybe they've moved on. Maybe you started caring too much. Maybe they don't want to risk the latter. Maybe they're just asleep. No matter what, this whole scenario just sucks for you. Hardcore.
Feelings: rejected, confused, embarrassed, maybe a little concerned.
Goal: You want to get our mind thinking about something else. Seriously, this is one of those moments where you are completely allowed to eat the most fattening, most disgusting thing you can get your hands on.
We're here to help. This “thing” you're going to eat needs to be easy to find, easy to make and easy to eat. Its ingredients should be available for purchase at your nearest convenience store and the assembly should be minimal.
A Nacho Dorito Dump Bag is just the thing you need.
Ingredients: A bag of nacho cheese Doritos, a snack size can of bean dip, a snack size can of nacho cheese dip, a scoop of sour cream and a scoop of salsa
1. Empty bean dip into microwaveable bowl and heat for one minute.
2. Empty nacho cheese dip into separate bowl and do the same.
3. Pour beans, nacho cheese dip, sour cream and salsa into your Doritos bag, right on top of the chips.
4. Grab a fork.
You're going to feel a little guilty and a little bloated post-gluttony. No worries, though. It's late, and a night of sleep is the best thing possible to help make that feeling disappear. When you wake up in the morning, you can get back out there and find yourself a replacement booty call.
Come on, now. We believe in you!